truth time
ok i think that i should write down how i real feel about the whole thing with randy i real loved him and i felt so good when he said that he loved me but i did feel like he was lieong to me but i push it a side i guess that i was real hurt when we start to talk on his bed that i told him how i real feel that i i felt like i was there to be called his to be there to show of to his friends to be something that i am not that i did love him that i stop cuting for him that i would stop hurting cuz i cut myself that i being pain to myself and do this to myself i guess that i want to feel alive let all the shit feels go that i felt like ever thing is my felt if i was not like this maybe he would not showing me off that i was there cuz his frist chose would not go out with him that after that i found out that he ask my best frined out the frist that he meet her and that she told him that i like him and that he should ask me out i just push it aside think that she was just mad cuz i was happy but maybe if i liston to her my heart would not be broken i think that it would be fine but no it was not i guess that he ment more then i thought but i mean that i have this great he now that when i look in his eye i see that he real loves me and i never feel like i can say anything to him nad that we know each other somuch that it dose not bother me about it and the things about me that i use to do yep i cus that is what to love real is well that is all right