(#1755)
Oh my good holy god I am manic.
It hasn't been this bad in months. I'm calmer now, only because I'm tired and my body can't keep up with my head anymore. Earlier, I was really bad.
I made lemon squares, and I'm planning on doing the dishes when I get up tomorrow so I can say I've done something, I'm going to attack the living room since it looks like we'll never get that done now that there's CABLE INTERNET in the little house, and I'm going to vacuum everything and organize all my crap so that it's taking up less space and I'm going to bag up all the trash that's accumulated in this HUGE pile because we don't have a trash can and throw it in the back of Sam's truck because that's where they want to put it until we figure out where the dump is (or until we know for sure that we're on the county trash line thingy)....
Yeah, see.. that was how I was earlier only I couldn't stop moving or talking.
I don't know - it could just be the way I deal with stress, and the fact that I menstruate about a week from now give or take a day or two, and crying doesn't really do anything except drain my energy because I'm so sad all the time, so at least this is a step toward being on an even keel again - I can't feel anything because I can't think about one thing long enough to feel something about it.
I love how this keyboard feels under my fingers when I type on it. It's sexy. Mmm, sexy keyboard. Speedy internet. REALLY speedy computer. Yummm..
I'm so fucked up.
I think I'm going to go to sleep now because I'm tired enough, finally.
The lemon squares taste good. And I went trolling around online for recipes with blackberries in them. Among other things. Mmm, food. (Well, more MMMMM food I get to make in the oven..)
I can't cook food on the stove unless it's like hamburger helper or it's something of my own invention or something I've been making for years and years. I don't know why. But I'm horrible at it. But give me a recipe for something that gets baked and I'll bring out perfection on the first try. (Most of the time.. I had one disaster when I was 12, but I figured out what I did wrong, and if I try that again, I'll make sure to wait for the pie to cool before adding marshmallows to it and I'll just melt them a little or something first. Mm.. yum.)
Heh heh heh.. big ego about my baking skills I have.
Tired. Bye.
It hasn't been this bad in months. I'm calmer now, only because I'm tired and my body can't keep up with my head anymore. Earlier, I was really bad.
I made lemon squares, and I'm planning on doing the dishes when I get up tomorrow so I can say I've done something, I'm going to attack the living room since it looks like we'll never get that done now that there's CABLE INTERNET in the little house, and I'm going to vacuum everything and organize all my crap so that it's taking up less space and I'm going to bag up all the trash that's accumulated in this HUGE pile because we don't have a trash can and throw it in the back of Sam's truck because that's where they want to put it until we figure out where the dump is (or until we know for sure that we're on the county trash line thingy)....
Yeah, see.. that was how I was earlier only I couldn't stop moving or talking.
I don't know - it could just be the way I deal with stress, and the fact that I menstruate about a week from now give or take a day or two, and crying doesn't really do anything except drain my energy because I'm so sad all the time, so at least this is a step toward being on an even keel again - I can't feel anything because I can't think about one thing long enough to feel something about it.
I love how this keyboard feels under my fingers when I type on it. It's sexy. Mmm, sexy keyboard. Speedy internet. REALLY speedy computer. Yummm..
I'm so fucked up.
I think I'm going to go to sleep now because I'm tired enough, finally.
The lemon squares taste good. And I went trolling around online for recipes with blackberries in them. Among other things. Mmm, food. (Well, more MMMMM food I get to make in the oven..)
I can't cook food on the stove unless it's like hamburger helper or it's something of my own invention or something I've been making for years and years. I don't know why. But I'm horrible at it. But give me a recipe for something that gets baked and I'll bring out perfection on the first try. (Most of the time.. I had one disaster when I was 12, but I figured out what I did wrong, and if I try that again, I'll make sure to wait for the pie to cool before adding marshmallows to it and I'll just melt them a little or something first. Mm.. yum.)
Heh heh heh.. big ego about my baking skills I have.
Tired. Bye.