Where Are You Roaming? (23/25)
Author: lorelaisquared
Titile: Where Are You Roaming?
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1367
Characters: Rose, Donna, Ten, Viola (OC)
Pairings: Rose/TenII, Rose/Ten
Summary: Sequel to What’s To Come is Still Unsure. Rose and Viola struggle to adjust to being in Rose’s original universe while the Doctor deals with the ramifications of his actions at "Bowie Base One" on Mars. Rating: PG Beta(s): meremoon, “springhaze23”/
Author’s Note:Special thanks once more to springhaze23”/> who gave this chapter a once-over and made it much better. Thanks also to <lj user= for her invaluable feedback. Also a huge thank you to rumpelsnorcack for her constant support and cheerleading. A quick shout out to earlgreytea68 for periodically letting me bounce ideas off of her.
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 |
Chapter 23
Viola noticed the shift almost immediately. It was subtle, but things had definitely changed between her mother and the Doctor.
Viola was still trying to decide how she felt about this. For the nearly three months they’d all been traveling together, Viola had noticed the tension between them. It was unlike the kind of tension Viola used to sense between her parents when they were in a fight. This was more like a hesitance or a fear.
In some ways, the easing of the tension between them made life in the TARDIS much easier. There was more laughter, more traveling for the fun of it. Still, there was something about the way the Doctor looked at her mother sometimes that made Viola nervous.
Donna had caught these moments too, and Viola had noticed an increase in the number of times Donna would whisk her off, leaving her mother and the Doctor alone. At first this worried her, but once she realized that her mother seemed less sad after each of those occurrences, Viola relaxed. Slowly, her mother was healing and she was grateful for whatever the Doctor was doing to help her with that.
Seeing her mother smile more often was a good thing and with every day that passed, the aching in Viola’s heart that reminded her of how much she missed her father faded slowly. She knew it would never fade completely, and she still had moments where seeing the Doctor reminded her painfully of the father she’d lost. Sometimes she’d even find herself involuntarily comparing them, but for the most part, managed to reconcile the similarities and differences between them. She tried to take things one day at a time instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, and as the days passed, her pain slowly began to lessen.
The Doctor also seemed to be coping better. Though he was consciously shielding his mind from her, there had been a few occasions where Viola had caught a glimpse of his thoughts and she’d seen that he was still beating himself up over everything.
One day, about a week before her eighth birthday, when Viola was especially missing her father, she found herself alone in the library with the Doctor.
He seemed to sense that something was bothering her and silently sat down beside her.
“Quit it,” Viola said grumpily, moving further into her corner of the sofa.
“Quit what?”
“Thinking at me.”
“What? I’m not -“
“You are. You’re giving me your ‘I know you’re upset’ look and it’s annoying. If you came here to talk to me, just talk, otherwise I’d really just like to be alone.”
“You miss him, don’t you?” the Doctor asked quietly.
Viola nodded. “I thought it would hurt less, by now, and I was doing better, but … I just, I really wish he was here.”
“I know. I wish that about my family every day.”
“Yeah, but the Time Lords were boring. Dad told me.”
The Doctor laughed. “It’s true, they were, but that doesn’t mean I loved them any less. Oh sure, there were lots of times I couldn’t stand them, but that doesn’t mean I wanted them gone forever.”
Forever. Viola found herself dwelling on the word. “Does it ever get any easier?” she whispered. “Losing people all the time?”
“I wish I could tell you that it does,” the Doctor sighed, “but the honest answer is no, it never gets easier. I’ve lived for over 900 years and in that time I’ve met billions of people throughout the universe. I’ve lost many people that I cared about. I thought I was doing okay, but, after a while it can get to you - the loneliness, the constant goodbyes - it’s the curse of the Time Lords, I suppose.”
Viola thought about his words carefully. “So why don’t you keep running, then? Wouldn’t it be easier to just not get close to anyone?”
The Doctor laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “I used to think so. After I said goodbye to your mother and left Donna with her parents I tried that. I cut myself off from others because I thought it would protect me from the pain of loosing them, but, Viola, that backfired. Look at what I ended up doing instead. I became the most dangerous being in the universe. I can’t let that happen ever again and one way to stop that is to continue to surround myself with people who will call me on my mistakes, who will share my enjoyment of the universe, and who will grieve with me when things go wrong. I’d lost sight of that for some time and, to be honest, I’m still trying to come to terms with the cost of that mistake.”
Viola couldn’t help but go back to the question that still bothered her. “But doesn’t it scare you? Knowing that one day people around you - the people you care about, will all die?”
“It used to. But then I remembered something. Viola, as Time Lords we’ve been given an amazing gift.”
“What’s that?”
“Two hearts.”
Viola frowned. “I know a binary vascular system is superior and all, but how is that amazing? It’s just biology.”
“It’s amazing because it means that we have double the capacity to love.”
Viola considered this. “But doesn’t that also mean we have double the risk of being heartbroken?”
The Doctor nodded. “It does, but we also have double the space to store our love and memories of those people.” He touched his chest, his fist over his right heart. “One way I’ve managed to cope with living for such a very long time is by holding my memories of the people I’ve come across in here. That’s the gift Viola. We can love and we can be broken-hearted and we can miss the people we care about but we will never, ever forget them. In a way, we will love them forever.”
“So my dad, he’s,” Viola placed her fist over one of her hearts, “in here?”
“Always.”
“And he won’t be mad if I have fun on my birthday without him?”
“Of course he won’t. Viola, I never saw him as a father but I know that he loved you very, very much and he would want you to be happy on your birthday, not sad.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I’m positive!”
They were quiet for several moments. And then, on a whim, Viola thrust herself forward and engulfed him in a huge, over-enthusiastic hug.
“Thank you,” she whispered to the lapel of his jacket. “I feel a lot better now.”
“I’m glad.” The Doctor smiled down at her as she pulled away and reclaimed her previous stance of sitting on one end of the sofa with her feet tucked beneath her. “Do you have any thoughts on what you’d like to do for your special day? Eight is a pretty big year for a Time Lord.”
“It is?” Viola gaped at him. She didn’t remember hearing anything significant about turning eight.
“It’s the year I got to look into the Time Vortex,” the Doctor whispered conspiratorially.
“Really?”
“Yup! It’s the reason I wear these,” he held up his leg to show off his Converse. “Made me wanna run.”
“Will it make me want to run too? I already do a lot of that.”
The Doctor laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, you don’t need to do that. It was just something the higher ups liked to do - claimed it was the way to get a Time Lord to see all of time and space, I think we can accomplish the same thing another way.”
Viola shook her head. “No. I want to do it.”
He looked at her in surprise. “You do?”
“Yes. Doctor, we’re the last of our kind, we can’t risk something going wrong and me not having full Time Lord abilities.”
He laughed. “You already have full Time Lord abilities.”
Viola crossed her arms. “I don’t care. I really want to do it.”
The Doctor studied her for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s too dangerous.”
The glare she gave him made him shudder. “I’m not a baby. I can handle something dangerous.”
“Viola, the temporal schism is not something to mess around with. More than one Time Lord child has gone insane when forced to look into it.”
“I won’t let that happen to me.”
“You can’t -“ He paused at the look of anger and hurt that passed over her face and suddenly he felt utterly helpless. They’d made such progress earlier today, he didn’t want to ruin it now with an argument over something as stupid as the schism. He sighed and edged closer to her, touching her arm lightly. “Viola, are you sure this is something you want to do?”
Her expression softened and she nodded enthusiastically, “I’m sure.”
“I’m not making any promises, and I still think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ll think about it.”
“But - “
“That’s the best you’re getting, kid.”
“I’m not a kid!” Viola sighed. “Fine.” Her eyes locked on his. “But I get to pick what we do on my birthday.”
He laughed. “When did you get so wise?”
Viola shrugged. “Dunno, I was just born that way, I guess.”
He ruffled her hair and smiled. “I guess so. Anyway, when you decide what you want to do on your birthday just let us know. We’re happy to do whatever you like.”
Viola nodded. “Okay, I will.”
He was about to leave the room when her voice stopped him. “And Doctor?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you, for earlier.”
He smiled. “Anytime, Viola. I’ll always be here for you.”
*~*~*~*~*
TBC
Author’s Note:Wow, only 2 more chapters to go! Remember, if you want to offer up prompts/suggestions for future short stories you'd like to see in this verse, you can do so at this post.
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Titile: Where Are You Roaming?
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1367
Characters: Rose, Donna, Ten, Viola (OC)
Pairings: Rose/TenII, Rose/Ten
Summary: Sequel to What’s To Come is Still Unsure. Rose and Viola struggle to adjust to being in Rose’s original universe while the Doctor deals with the ramifications of his actions at "Bowie Base One" on Mars. Rating: PG Beta(s): meremoon, “springhaze23”/
Author’s Note:Special thanks once more to springhaze23”/> who gave this chapter a once-over and made it much better. Thanks also to <lj user= for her invaluable feedback. Also a huge thank you to rumpelsnorcack for her constant support and cheerleading. A quick shout out to earlgreytea68 for periodically letting me bounce ideas off of her.
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 |
Chapter 23
Viola noticed the shift almost immediately. It was subtle, but things had definitely changed between her mother and the Doctor.
Viola was still trying to decide how she felt about this. For the nearly three months they’d all been traveling together, Viola had noticed the tension between them. It was unlike the kind of tension Viola used to sense between her parents when they were in a fight. This was more like a hesitance or a fear.
In some ways, the easing of the tension between them made life in the TARDIS much easier. There was more laughter, more traveling for the fun of it. Still, there was something about the way the Doctor looked at her mother sometimes that made Viola nervous.
Donna had caught these moments too, and Viola had noticed an increase in the number of times Donna would whisk her off, leaving her mother and the Doctor alone. At first this worried her, but once she realized that her mother seemed less sad after each of those occurrences, Viola relaxed. Slowly, her mother was healing and she was grateful for whatever the Doctor was doing to help her with that.
Seeing her mother smile more often was a good thing and with every day that passed, the aching in Viola’s heart that reminded her of how much she missed her father faded slowly. She knew it would never fade completely, and she still had moments where seeing the Doctor reminded her painfully of the father she’d lost. Sometimes she’d even find herself involuntarily comparing them, but for the most part, managed to reconcile the similarities and differences between them. She tried to take things one day at a time instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, and as the days passed, her pain slowly began to lessen.
The Doctor also seemed to be coping better. Though he was consciously shielding his mind from her, there had been a few occasions where Viola had caught a glimpse of his thoughts and she’d seen that he was still beating himself up over everything.
One day, about a week before her eighth birthday, when Viola was especially missing her father, she found herself alone in the library with the Doctor.
He seemed to sense that something was bothering her and silently sat down beside her.
“Quit it,” Viola said grumpily, moving further into her corner of the sofa.
“Quit what?”
“Thinking at me.”
“What? I’m not -“
“You are. You’re giving me your ‘I know you’re upset’ look and it’s annoying. If you came here to talk to me, just talk, otherwise I’d really just like to be alone.”
“You miss him, don’t you?” the Doctor asked quietly.
Viola nodded. “I thought it would hurt less, by now, and I was doing better, but … I just, I really wish he was here.”
“I know. I wish that about my family every day.”
“Yeah, but the Time Lords were boring. Dad told me.”
The Doctor laughed. “It’s true, they were, but that doesn’t mean I loved them any less. Oh sure, there were lots of times I couldn’t stand them, but that doesn’t mean I wanted them gone forever.”
Forever. Viola found herself dwelling on the word. “Does it ever get any easier?” she whispered. “Losing people all the time?”
“I wish I could tell you that it does,” the Doctor sighed, “but the honest answer is no, it never gets easier. I’ve lived for over 900 years and in that time I’ve met billions of people throughout the universe. I’ve lost many people that I cared about. I thought I was doing okay, but, after a while it can get to you - the loneliness, the constant goodbyes - it’s the curse of the Time Lords, I suppose.”
Viola thought about his words carefully. “So why don’t you keep running, then? Wouldn’t it be easier to just not get close to anyone?”
The Doctor laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “I used to think so. After I said goodbye to your mother and left Donna with her parents I tried that. I cut myself off from others because I thought it would protect me from the pain of loosing them, but, Viola, that backfired. Look at what I ended up doing instead. I became the most dangerous being in the universe. I can’t let that happen ever again and one way to stop that is to continue to surround myself with people who will call me on my mistakes, who will share my enjoyment of the universe, and who will grieve with me when things go wrong. I’d lost sight of that for some time and, to be honest, I’m still trying to come to terms with the cost of that mistake.”
Viola couldn’t help but go back to the question that still bothered her. “But doesn’t it scare you? Knowing that one day people around you - the people you care about, will all die?”
“It used to. But then I remembered something. Viola, as Time Lords we’ve been given an amazing gift.”
“What’s that?”
“Two hearts.”
Viola frowned. “I know a binary vascular system is superior and all, but how is that amazing? It’s just biology.”
“It’s amazing because it means that we have double the capacity to love.”
Viola considered this. “But doesn’t that also mean we have double the risk of being heartbroken?”
The Doctor nodded. “It does, but we also have double the space to store our love and memories of those people.” He touched his chest, his fist over his right heart. “One way I’ve managed to cope with living for such a very long time is by holding my memories of the people I’ve come across in here. That’s the gift Viola. We can love and we can be broken-hearted and we can miss the people we care about but we will never, ever forget them. In a way, we will love them forever.”
“So my dad, he’s,” Viola placed her fist over one of her hearts, “in here?”
“Always.”
“And he won’t be mad if I have fun on my birthday without him?”
“Of course he won’t. Viola, I never saw him as a father but I know that he loved you very, very much and he would want you to be happy on your birthday, not sad.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I’m positive!”
They were quiet for several moments. And then, on a whim, Viola thrust herself forward and engulfed him in a huge, over-enthusiastic hug.
“Thank you,” she whispered to the lapel of his jacket. “I feel a lot better now.”
“I’m glad.” The Doctor smiled down at her as she pulled away and reclaimed her previous stance of sitting on one end of the sofa with her feet tucked beneath her. “Do you have any thoughts on what you’d like to do for your special day? Eight is a pretty big year for a Time Lord.”
“It is?” Viola gaped at him. She didn’t remember hearing anything significant about turning eight.
“It’s the year I got to look into the Time Vortex,” the Doctor whispered conspiratorially.
“Really?”
“Yup! It’s the reason I wear these,” he held up his leg to show off his Converse. “Made me wanna run.”
“Will it make me want to run too? I already do a lot of that.”
The Doctor laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, you don’t need to do that. It was just something the higher ups liked to do - claimed it was the way to get a Time Lord to see all of time and space, I think we can accomplish the same thing another way.”
Viola shook her head. “No. I want to do it.”
He looked at her in surprise. “You do?”
“Yes. Doctor, we’re the last of our kind, we can’t risk something going wrong and me not having full Time Lord abilities.”
He laughed. “You already have full Time Lord abilities.”
Viola crossed her arms. “I don’t care. I really want to do it.”
The Doctor studied her for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s too dangerous.”
The glare she gave him made him shudder. “I’m not a baby. I can handle something dangerous.”
“Viola, the temporal schism is not something to mess around with. More than one Time Lord child has gone insane when forced to look into it.”
“I won’t let that happen to me.”
“You can’t -“ He paused at the look of anger and hurt that passed over her face and suddenly he felt utterly helpless. They’d made such progress earlier today, he didn’t want to ruin it now with an argument over something as stupid as the schism. He sighed and edged closer to her, touching her arm lightly. “Viola, are you sure this is something you want to do?”
Her expression softened and she nodded enthusiastically, “I’m sure.”
“I’m not making any promises, and I still think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ll think about it.”
“But - “
“That’s the best you’re getting, kid.”
“I’m not a kid!” Viola sighed. “Fine.” Her eyes locked on his. “But I get to pick what we do on my birthday.”
He laughed. “When did you get so wise?”
Viola shrugged. “Dunno, I was just born that way, I guess.”
He ruffled her hair and smiled. “I guess so. Anyway, when you decide what you want to do on your birthday just let us know. We’re happy to do whatever you like.”
Viola nodded. “Okay, I will.”
He was about to leave the room when her voice stopped him. “And Doctor?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you, for earlier.”
He smiled. “Anytime, Viola. I’ll always be here for you.”
*~*~*~*~*
TBC
Author’s Note:Wow, only 2 more chapters to go! Remember, if you want to offer up prompts/suggestions for future short stories you'd like to see in this verse, you can do so at this post.
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter