Apologies Come With Love...
Well in order to raise my downward sloping mood I'm gonna toss out some more apologies to those deserving.
Enjoy.
- Krazy Joe, you remember that time that you woke up in Mexico sitting on a donkey wearing nothing except a speedo and some mardi-gras beads. Yeah, that was me, sorry about drugging you and having you deported, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- A few post's back I told everyone that Heroin was a "delightful way to liven up a visit to grandmom's retirement home" I was mistaken. I got heroin mixed up with Monopoly. Sorry for any visits to rehab, life destroying apathy, and addictions this advice caused.
- I'd like to say a huge "Sorry" to Cait and Mike. When I told you that I had rented that limo for you guy's to have a romantic evening I had actually stolen it and paid a homeless guy a bottle of Jack to drive. Sorry for the pending court case and jail time.
- To the 5 or 6 of you that recently participated in my short film "Bikini Beach Cleavage" I meant to tell you that it wasn't actually for a school project. I'm not a film student, I'm going for electrician. I just wanted to see you all naked.
- Sorry about that whole "World War" thing. My bad.
- Hey, Amber- remember when I told you to meet me in Madrid and I would "take you on a trip through Europe that would rock your socks". Yeah, sorry about not showing up, I understand that you didn't have any money and were forced to work in a fetish shop for a year in order to pay for your ticket home. Yeah, that probably didn't rock your socks at all.
- Stacie, when I told you that common over the counter items could be used in place of birth control I was lying. Sorry about the pregnancy, if it's a boy will you name it John since it was my fault?
- I really have to apologize to Dawn for that whole "selling you into slavery" thing. Boy was I drunk that night!
That's all I got for now, apologies really take it out of you, I need a shower and some heroin, I mean Monopoly.
Enjoy.
- Krazy Joe, you remember that time that you woke up in Mexico sitting on a donkey wearing nothing except a speedo and some mardi-gras beads. Yeah, that was me, sorry about drugging you and having you deported, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- A few post's back I told everyone that Heroin was a "delightful way to liven up a visit to grandmom's retirement home" I was mistaken. I got heroin mixed up with Monopoly. Sorry for any visits to rehab, life destroying apathy, and addictions this advice caused.
- I'd like to say a huge "Sorry" to Cait and Mike. When I told you that I had rented that limo for you guy's to have a romantic evening I had actually stolen it and paid a homeless guy a bottle of Jack to drive. Sorry for the pending court case and jail time.
- To the 5 or 6 of you that recently participated in my short film "Bikini Beach Cleavage" I meant to tell you that it wasn't actually for a school project. I'm not a film student, I'm going for electrician. I just wanted to see you all naked.
- Sorry about that whole "World War" thing. My bad.
- Hey, Amber- remember when I told you to meet me in Madrid and I would "take you on a trip through Europe that would rock your socks". Yeah, sorry about not showing up, I understand that you didn't have any money and were forced to work in a fetish shop for a year in order to pay for your ticket home. Yeah, that probably didn't rock your socks at all.
- Stacie, when I told you that common over the counter items could be used in place of birth control I was lying. Sorry about the pregnancy, if it's a boy will you name it John since it was my fault?
- I really have to apologize to Dawn for that whole "selling you into slavery" thing. Boy was I drunk that night!
That's all I got for now, apologies really take it out of you, I need a shower and some heroin, I mean Monopoly.