OMG CHACELLOR PALAOTEEEN IS DARK INSIDEOUS!!!!!! SPOLAR WARNINGS!!!!!!!
Ha ha. Seriously though, I would never be a dick and post a real-time spoiler, like for example how Padme dies at the end. Ha ha, fuckers.
And so without further ado, I will address the top ten good and bad things about Episode Three. Thus do I continue my modest goal of furthering greater EDUTAINMENT on the intarweb. Please enjoy the sauce.
10) Good - General Grievous looks kinda cool. He has FOUR light-sabers, which is better than one, because there's four of them.
Bad - General Grievous has emphysema and dresses in a tarp of some kind, like a grill or lawn-mower. Also he's not in it very much.
9) Good - Palpatine kicks a lot of ass, and so does Yoda.
Bad - Watto does NOT kick any ass, because he's not in it. This is TERRIBLE, because they built him up so much in Episode Two by giving him that awesome HAT.
8) Good - Chewbacca!
Bad - What, no Lumpy? No Itchy?
7) Good - No Jar-Jar talking.
Bad - No Jar-Jar murdering. ( Seriously! More like "Ahmed WORST" , am I right? Ha ha ha! Get it? Nobody likes Jar Jar. Internet Humor.)
6) Good - For the most part, everybody stays in character, and by that, I mean that Obi-Wan is awesome and Anakin acts like he works at Hot Topic.
Bad - I found Jabba /Watto slash fic. I don't know what that has to do with episode 3, but it did make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
5) Good - Artoo fucks peoples' shit up RIGHT IN THEIR FACES. Wicked sweet.
Bad - Did I mention Watto's hat does NOT make a return appearance in this one?
4) Good - Bail Organa's ship, the Tantive IV, is nicely re-done. You may remember it from Episode 4. You know, "real" Star Wars.
Bad - Bail Organa looks like WWE Superstar "The Rock".
3) Good - Mincing homosexual antics by beloved prancy robot C-3PO.
Bad - Mincing homosexual antics by child-predator-looking Palpatine when Anakin turns to the Dark Side, the official side of the force for fellating the elderly. ANCIENT SITH TRADITION!
2) Good - The film has a nice punchy opening with loads of explosions and wacky antics. Also, Saruman gets his head lopped off, which rocked my face.
Bad - Nute Gunray buys the farm! His hat was almost as good as Watto's. Also, I riked his voice.
1) Good - This movie actually elicited emotions from the viewer. The sad parts were genuinely sad, which says a lot from a cheese-ball space opera. All in all, really good stuff. Also Aayla Secura is mad sexy.
Bad - Every time I look at Darth Vader now, I will want to punch him in the nuts. Way to go, Annie.
So yeah. Good flick. I really enjoyed it. Go see it. Also, don't read this page if you don't want to see any spoilers.
And so without further ado, I will address the top ten good and bad things about Episode Three. Thus do I continue my modest goal of furthering greater EDUTAINMENT on the intarweb. Please enjoy the sauce.
10) Good - General Grievous looks kinda cool. He has FOUR light-sabers, which is better than one, because there's four of them.
Bad - General Grievous has emphysema and dresses in a tarp of some kind, like a grill or lawn-mower. Also he's not in it very much.
9) Good - Palpatine kicks a lot of ass, and so does Yoda.
Bad - Watto does NOT kick any ass, because he's not in it. This is TERRIBLE, because they built him up so much in Episode Two by giving him that awesome HAT.
8) Good - Chewbacca!
Bad - What, no Lumpy? No Itchy?
7) Good - No Jar-Jar talking.
Bad - No Jar-Jar murdering. ( Seriously! More like "Ahmed WORST" , am I right? Ha ha ha! Get it? Nobody likes Jar Jar. Internet Humor.)
6) Good - For the most part, everybody stays in character, and by that, I mean that Obi-Wan is awesome and Anakin acts like he works at Hot Topic.
Bad - I found Jabba /Watto slash fic. I don't know what that has to do with episode 3, but it did make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
5) Good - Artoo fucks peoples' shit up RIGHT IN THEIR FACES. Wicked sweet.
Bad - Did I mention Watto's hat does NOT make a return appearance in this one?
4) Good - Bail Organa's ship, the Tantive IV, is nicely re-done. You may remember it from Episode 4. You know, "real" Star Wars.
Bad - Bail Organa looks like WWE Superstar "The Rock".
3) Good - Mincing homosexual antics by beloved prancy robot C-3PO.
Bad - Mincing homosexual antics by child-predator-looking Palpatine when Anakin turns to the Dark Side, the official side of the force for fellating the elderly. ANCIENT SITH TRADITION!
2) Good - The film has a nice punchy opening with loads of explosions and wacky antics. Also, Saruman gets his head lopped off, which rocked my face.
Bad - Nute Gunray buys the farm! His hat was almost as good as Watto's. Also, I riked his voice.
1) Good - This movie actually elicited emotions from the viewer. The sad parts were genuinely sad, which says a lot from a cheese-ball space opera. All in all, really good stuff. Also Aayla Secura is mad sexy.
Bad - Every time I look at Darth Vader now, I will want to punch him in the nuts. Way to go, Annie.
So yeah. Good flick. I really enjoyed it. Go see it. Also, don't read this page if you don't want to see any spoilers.