The last word on Living Wills
I decided that in case I am instantly rendered comatose and brain-dead by accidentally watching Pro Wrestling or Survivor, I should have one of those trendy "living wills" that the kids are all on about this month. I will post it forthwith.
In the event that I am ever in a persistent vegetative state, I will have a feeding tube inserted into me that dispenses fois gras and baby seal eyes. I will be plugged into every means of unholy artifice to keep my shattered corpse alive as I cling to life like some kind of blasphemous mannequin. In fact, I may even insist that as parts of my body begin to fail due to the entropic march of time, their functions are immediately taken over by unwholesome machines etched with dark runes and powered by the screams of unbaptized children. I would not rest in a bed in a hospice but at the heart of a vast metallic web of Byzantine life support machinery, preferably in a shrine of some kind, flanked with Doric pillars. Furthermore, if some means of keeping me alive at the expense of others could be found, for example by consuming their souls like the Immortal Emperor from Warhammer, it would be incorporated as well. And there would have to be bitching flame decals all over the entire apparatus.
And as to my material possessions they should be locked in a giant box made of gold, FOREVER, because they're mine.
I hereby assert that this is my living will.
love, Shamus
In the event that I am ever in a persistent vegetative state, I will have a feeding tube inserted into me that dispenses fois gras and baby seal eyes. I will be plugged into every means of unholy artifice to keep my shattered corpse alive as I cling to life like some kind of blasphemous mannequin. In fact, I may even insist that as parts of my body begin to fail due to the entropic march of time, their functions are immediately taken over by unwholesome machines etched with dark runes and powered by the screams of unbaptized children. I would not rest in a bed in a hospice but at the heart of a vast metallic web of Byzantine life support machinery, preferably in a shrine of some kind, flanked with Doric pillars. Furthermore, if some means of keeping me alive at the expense of others could be found, for example by consuming their souls like the Immortal Emperor from Warhammer, it would be incorporated as well. And there would have to be bitching flame decals all over the entire apparatus.
And as to my material possessions they should be locked in a giant box made of gold, FOREVER, because they're mine.
I hereby assert that this is my living will.
love, Shamus