My Purina Diet
(Stolen from my e-mail box...lol)
My Purina Diet (this is a true story and proves just how nosey and gullible some people can be )
I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to chec k out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry; that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy behind the woman was going to have a heart attack as he staggered out the door laughing loudly.
My Purina Diet (this is a true story and proves just how nosey and gullible some people can be )
I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to chec k out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry; that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy behind the woman was going to have a heart attack as he staggered out the door laughing loudly.