Where do you think you came from?!
To those out there that i have told this story to already, You will notice in this post that I have jazzed it up a bit to make it more interesting, so injoy everyone, and have a great laugh. This is not a story thats suitable for children or the very religious....and it's actually funny if youm can bend you mind around the comments.
Two guys are sitting in a bar, friends for a long time (Lou and Bill), but still theres many things they can and will discuss. So as they sit there shooting the shit, Another man and a drop dead sexay lady walk up to the bar beside them. Exchanging glances of approvel, the tree men smile and stare at the woman. After a few seconds the bartender finally serves the third man and the woman.The third man, smiling as he pays for the two drinks thanks the bartender, who responds with.
Bartender: "No problem, have fun"
Taking the drinks the woman and man begin to walk away, but the third man stops and responds to the bartender with a smirk on his face as he nods towards the woman.
Third man: "With God as my witness....I WIL"
Still smiriking the third man catches up with the woman and disappear into the crowd.
"Thats bloody retarded"
Bill says as the man disappears. Puzzeled at the comment Lou looks at Bill
Lou: "Whats retarded?"
Bill: "The guy that was just here, putting faith into a God"
Lou: "Whats wrong with god?"
Bill: "Theres no such thing, God is a creation of socity so that we as humans can put blame on something other than ourselves, this so called God does not exist."
Lou: "Now wait a second?! You don't belive in God? I do!"
Bill: "Why?, whats the point? Theres no such thing as God like I just said!"
Lou: "How can you say that, look at all God has done for us, after all how do you think man came to be man?"
Bill: "We Evolved from that Legged fish like thing that crawled out of the ocean billions of years ago."
Lou: "No we dident, read a bible Bill, God created us in his image"
Bill: " created myself in my own image! After all if I was created in this so called Gods image, than why donsent everyone look the same? Answer that!"
Lou: "I can't I guess, but answer this then, where do you think you came from if God dident create you!"
Bill: "Me, hell I came from my mothers cunt"
Lou: "Well were do you think she came from?"
Bill: "From her mothers cunt, and she came from her mothers cunt and so on all the way back to that fish creature that crawled out of the ocean....we all came from our mothers cunts"
Lou: "Well were did the fich thing come from then?"
Bill: "It's mothers cunt"
Lou: "Ok Ok, I get your point, but where did it all start, it had to have started somewhere!"
Bill: "Well ya, it all started at that black goo that started all life"
Lou: "Ok then were did that come from!"
Bill: "Well.....um...well I guess one big massive cunt"
Smirking and pointing as he finally makes his point come across, Lou jumps up and excitedly says
Lou: That massive cunt....Thats God!!"
Two guys are sitting in a bar, friends for a long time (Lou and Bill), but still theres many things they can and will discuss. So as they sit there shooting the shit, Another man and a drop dead sexay lady walk up to the bar beside them. Exchanging glances of approvel, the tree men smile and stare at the woman. After a few seconds the bartender finally serves the third man and the woman.The third man, smiling as he pays for the two drinks thanks the bartender, who responds with.
Bartender: "No problem, have fun"
Taking the drinks the woman and man begin to walk away, but the third man stops and responds to the bartender with a smirk on his face as he nods towards the woman.
Third man: "With God as my witness....I WIL"
Still smiriking the third man catches up with the woman and disappear into the crowd.
"Thats bloody retarded"
Bill says as the man disappears. Puzzeled at the comment Lou looks at Bill
Lou: "Whats retarded?"
Bill: "The guy that was just here, putting faith into a God"
Lou: "Whats wrong with god?"
Bill: "Theres no such thing, God is a creation of socity so that we as humans can put blame on something other than ourselves, this so called God does not exist."
Lou: "Now wait a second?! You don't belive in God? I do!"
Bill: "Why?, whats the point? Theres no such thing as God like I just said!"
Lou: "How can you say that, look at all God has done for us, after all how do you think man came to be man?"
Bill: "We Evolved from that Legged fish like thing that crawled out of the ocean billions of years ago."
Lou: "No we dident, read a bible Bill, God created us in his image"
Bill: " created myself in my own image! After all if I was created in this so called Gods image, than why donsent everyone look the same? Answer that!"
Lou: "I can't I guess, but answer this then, where do you think you came from if God dident create you!"
Bill: "Me, hell I came from my mothers cunt"
Lou: "Well were do you think she came from?"
Bill: "From her mothers cunt, and she came from her mothers cunt and so on all the way back to that fish creature that crawled out of the ocean....we all came from our mothers cunts"
Lou: "Well were did the fich thing come from then?"
Bill: "It's mothers cunt"
Lou: "Ok Ok, I get your point, but where did it all start, it had to have started somewhere!"
Bill: "Well ya, it all started at that black goo that started all life"
Lou: "Ok then were did that come from!"
Bill: "Well.....um...well I guess one big massive cunt"
Smirking and pointing as he finally makes his point come across, Lou jumps up and excitedly says
Lou: That massive cunt....Thats God!!"