Failstrom.
Oohhhh. I know why now I get such horribly cold feet about Maelstrom, to the extent of crying and feeling genuinely miserable at the prospect of it. It's the "You're Doing It Wrong" culture that seems closely attached to the game. There are so many ways to Do It Wrong in Maelstrom, and yes, you do get judged on that basis. People judge you if, in their opinion, you are Following $god Wrong, Playing $Nation Wrong, Playing $Race Wrong - fucking hell, anything at all. If the way you play your character doesn't match what other players consider to be appropriate for the spec, there isn't a culture of approval of Characters Being Wrong And Misguided And Ineffectual And Stupid Sometimes - no, you're a Failwemic, or a FailFreibodener, or a FailWeaverite, or whatever.
And I know I'm a fucking spineless coward and should get a grip, but I fucking hate that. It doesn't matter what anyone does - someone somewhere thinks it's lame and Doing It Wrong. And that makes me miserable and makes me hate myself and feel I should never larp again because I obviously suck. So I think that unless this new group lasts more than one event (unlikely) *and* I have lots and lots of fun with it, I'm not going to carry on with Maelstrom. Forty quid and a weekend camping is too high a price for some fun and a lot of self-esteem wangsting.
And I know I'm a fucking spineless coward and should get a grip, but I fucking hate that. It doesn't matter what anyone does - someone somewhere thinks it's lame and Doing It Wrong. And that makes me miserable and makes me hate myself and feel I should never larp again because I obviously suck. So I think that unless this new group lasts more than one event (unlikely) *and* I have lots and lots of fun with it, I'm not going to carry on with Maelstrom. Forty quid and a weekend camping is too high a price for some fun and a lot of self-esteem wangsting.