Tough stuff.
Today I spent half an hour basically telling my mom to euthanize our dog. :( It's heartbreaking. Sherman's decline has been so gradual that it's so hard for them to put a finger on where they need to say "No, this is too much pain/too little quality of life." With Mindy, I felt it was so easy... she was 3/4 gone in the course of a few hours, it was obvious that euthanasia was a good option. With Sherman he's probably only at 1/8 his former self in terms of abilities and living without arthritis pain, but it's been in increments of 1/16 every few months to a year... making it that much harder to really realize how far he's declined. It's insidious.
But I think it's time....
It doesn't help that he can't really go in the car anymore, so between paying for a house call and for his cremation my parents will probably have to pay $400-$500. At the very least they have to wait until they can get that amount; that's not an easy thing. My mom for her emotional health wants to wait until the end of the school year when she would be able to really devote time to grieving, and my heart aches and my eyes prick imagining coming home in May to a house devoid of a giant Sherman resting on the floor... but from what she said today, and what I think I've probably felt for a while, is that the random really good days he does have still aren't worth it for the far more consistent bad days of barking to be helped up and having accidents in the house and not wanting to eat. But because he still knows them, still wags his tail for Mom and wants to be near to her, that makes it that much harder. The random really good days of energy and liveliness make it confusing, too. Another thing that helped with Mindy is that she was just dull by the end, and she didn't know them anymore. But Sherman still knows. I was gone for 6 months and came back over winter break and he still lumbered up and trotted to me to rub his giant head under my hand for a good scratch. If I saw him today he would be happy to see me. That makes it hard.
Augh. :(
Edit: I called my mom after writing her a really hard e-mail basically stating more firmly why I felt it was time... It was highly depressing, but she's going to call tomorrow and make an appointment, possibly for next Saturday. She's decided actually not to have a home euthanasia since when my grandpa died she can't go in the room where he died without feeling disturbed, and doesn't want to feel that way about Sherman's death. So they will probably do it at the clinic. And they want to have time to really spoil him the next couple of days -- scrambled eggs, yummy treats, walks, new toys.
*fights back tears again*
But I think it's time....
It doesn't help that he can't really go in the car anymore, so between paying for a house call and for his cremation my parents will probably have to pay $400-$500. At the very least they have to wait until they can get that amount; that's not an easy thing. My mom for her emotional health wants to wait until the end of the school year when she would be able to really devote time to grieving, and my heart aches and my eyes prick imagining coming home in May to a house devoid of a giant Sherman resting on the floor... but from what she said today, and what I think I've probably felt for a while, is that the random really good days he does have still aren't worth it for the far more consistent bad days of barking to be helped up and having accidents in the house and not wanting to eat. But because he still knows them, still wags his tail for Mom and wants to be near to her, that makes it that much harder. The random really good days of energy and liveliness make it confusing, too. Another thing that helped with Mindy is that she was just dull by the end, and she didn't know them anymore. But Sherman still knows. I was gone for 6 months and came back over winter break and he still lumbered up and trotted to me to rub his giant head under my hand for a good scratch. If I saw him today he would be happy to see me. That makes it hard.
Augh. :(
Edit: I called my mom after writing her a really hard e-mail basically stating more firmly why I felt it was time... It was highly depressing, but she's going to call tomorrow and make an appointment, possibly for next Saturday. She's decided actually not to have a home euthanasia since when my grandpa died she can't go in the room where he died without feeling disturbed, and doesn't want to feel that way about Sherman's death. So they will probably do it at the clinic. And they want to have time to really spoil him the next couple of days -- scrambled eggs, yummy treats, walks, new toys.
*fights back tears again*