*sigh*
Thank goodness for Ben. Still feeling a little down tonight... but much better than this afternoon. I'm so lucky to have him, to be able to talk to him about all my worries and distresses and my angst. Since some of my problems are involving my family and home life, I no longer really feel comfortable talking to my mom in-depth about them... for pretty much the first time in my life. I just feel like anything negative I bring up will make her feel defensive, ashamed, or otherwise upset, and then that will only make me feel guilty and therefore worse. I tried it a little bit last night and it kinda sucked ass. So I don't feel I can talk to her about them anymore, which is a blow for me because I've always been able to tell her everything. :-/
So that makes me even more grateful for Ben, who will put his arms around me, kiss me on the forehead, and just let me tear up on him or whine at him or rant about how everything sucks. And when I've said my piece he'll just hug me even closer. Even though traffic from school tonight SUCKED and we didn't get as much hangout time after his class (despite it ending an hour early), we were still able to snuggle in the park and eat candy and watch dogs romping together in the grass. And I felt a little bit better.
Despite all my stresses, I'm so, so lucky. <3 And so wonderfully in love.
So that makes me even more grateful for Ben, who will put his arms around me, kiss me on the forehead, and just let me tear up on him or whine at him or rant about how everything sucks. And when I've said my piece he'll just hug me even closer. Even though traffic from school tonight SUCKED and we didn't get as much hangout time after his class (despite it ending an hour early), we were still able to snuggle in the park and eat candy and watch dogs romping together in the grass. And I felt a little bit better.
Despite all my stresses, I'm so, so lucky. <3 And so wonderfully in love.