Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[loonylupinlover]

Loneliness sucks. So does the feeling that spending time alone in my room is like living on an island where no one can reach me, no matter how much I want them to. My cell phone charger is still missing in action, and my room phone doesn't have an answering machine, and besides I've never liked the phone much and don't have many people's numbers. It's sad to realize how much I've honestly come to depend on my computer for communication. Instant messenger particularly, but e-mail as well. It's just so easy to talk to people and put together things to do online, and "Hey, you wanna hang out?" is incredibly easy to ask. So I definitely depend on my computer for that, and not having communication always be available to me (it's only when I'm in the computer labs, and nowhere else, really) is bringing me down. And it's not just communication, either, but also hobbies (Photoshop, writing), music, TV episodes and movies, DDR, and a million and one other things. Not having that available in my space, where I'm completely used to it, has brought me down to a ridiculous degree.

And of course, there's still the sinking feeling of going into Goudy and seeing no friends, and the disappointment that comes with having plans to see my Ben being thwarted by schoolwork and the like.

I could always look on the bright side, of course -- Friday evening, and all of Saturday and Sunday, were spent in Ben's company, and Friday night a big gang of us WU kids went to the Dragonfly, and yesterday Ben and I went to OMSI and saw the Reptile Show -- but it's a little harder to see from my stupid moody spot.

I need to get *over* this stupidity. I need to not be depressed as soon as I have more than two seconds alone with myself in my room.

Ugh.