I've had a good run
Of good luck or fortune.
This month it has definitely turned. well not entirely. Beginning of September was awesome. I had family in town visiting Seattle for the first time for my sister's wedding which was possibly the best wedding I have been to out of all the weddings I have gone to (i count 8 from November to now) and it was awesome getting to show them around and share with them my love of seattle, especially since the weather was so fantastic.
But life has become this close to being too much.
short story - my roommate decided to move out giving me 4 days notice and is short changing me on some shit. my way of dealing with it is rather just cut the scab out and burn it away. all of it. done
grandfather has been in the hospital for a week. found out last tuesday he has a tumor in his small intestines which is stage 3/4 pancreatic cancer. the tumor is 4cm and is inoperable. because of the size of the tumor it had caused his small intestines to become not as wide as it should be causing stress and tearing in his GI tract, which lead to some internal bleeding and possible infection from digestive fluids leaking into places it shouldnt. all this stress also caused a heart attack. he's had a stent put in and hopefully should be getting better and better from here on out, but the doctors have given him 4-6 months. how do you deal with something like that. how does one even come to terms. I dont think I have yet.
Work has been an adventure of its own. I dont have internet right now and i didnt have access to any work information for 2 days for unknown reasons. today some stuff was back online but still no internet. probably better for my productivity.
ultimate has become more stressful than fun. I am kind of done with organizing anything anymore. I dont want to do it anymore. It's become more of a chore than actual enjoyment. that is a huge problem.
I havent cried in 15 odd years and i've come close to crying 4 times in two weeks. two happy occasions and two unhappy ones.
I'd like normal to come back now please.
This month it has definitely turned. well not entirely. Beginning of September was awesome. I had family in town visiting Seattle for the first time for my sister's wedding which was possibly the best wedding I have been to out of all the weddings I have gone to (i count 8 from November to now) and it was awesome getting to show them around and share with them my love of seattle, especially since the weather was so fantastic.
But life has become this close to being too much.
short story - my roommate decided to move out giving me 4 days notice and is short changing me on some shit. my way of dealing with it is rather just cut the scab out and burn it away. all of it. done
grandfather has been in the hospital for a week. found out last tuesday he has a tumor in his small intestines which is stage 3/4 pancreatic cancer. the tumor is 4cm and is inoperable. because of the size of the tumor it had caused his small intestines to become not as wide as it should be causing stress and tearing in his GI tract, which lead to some internal bleeding and possible infection from digestive fluids leaking into places it shouldnt. all this stress also caused a heart attack. he's had a stent put in and hopefully should be getting better and better from here on out, but the doctors have given him 4-6 months. how do you deal with something like that. how does one even come to terms. I dont think I have yet.
Work has been an adventure of its own. I dont have internet right now and i didnt have access to any work information for 2 days for unknown reasons. today some stuff was back online but still no internet. probably better for my productivity.
ultimate has become more stressful than fun. I am kind of done with organizing anything anymore. I dont want to do it anymore. It's become more of a chore than actual enjoyment. that is a huge problem.
I havent cried in 15 odd years and i've come close to crying 4 times in two weeks. two happy occasions and two unhappy ones.
I'd like normal to come back now please.