Fic: Dance With Somebody
crown-of-weeds replied to your link: Anyone Wanna Leave a Prompt in My Ask?
What is Brittany’s life like in the Stripper!verse?
Title: Dance With Somebody
Author: lookninjas
Pairing/Character(s): Brittany, Brittany's parents, Mike Chang, Santana; Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes, Tina, and Cooper all mentioned
Rating: PG
Warnings: Purity balls and the Daystar television network.
Word Count: Just over 4300
Spoilers: This is AU, so none.
Standard-Issue Short-Form Disclaimer: I do not hold copyright to Glee, make no claims to it, and am not writing this for profit.
Summary: When she was thirteen, Brittany put on a pretty white dress and danced with her father. Ten years later, she's still waiting for her chance to do it again.
Author’s Notes: So this is, obviously, a reply to weeds' prompt. I hadn't originally planned on Brittany coming from any particular sort of religious background, but the idea of her dancing with her father at a purity ball came to me and wouldn't leave, and everything else sprang from there. Being that I was more or less raised a heathen, I'm a little uncertain as to how well I wrote that background -- feel free to correct me if I fucked up (either minorly or massively).
The day after Kurt and Blaine's wedding, after she wakes up in Santana's bed to Santana kissing her, already dressed and telling her, "Baby, I gotta run to the shop for a little bit, but I'll be back soon, promise," Brittany calls her parents.
The moment she hears her father's voice, she bursts into tears.
*
When Brittany was thirteen years old, she put on a pretty white dress and went to a ball where she got to dance with her father.
There was other stuff, too -- a fancy dinner, and some people talking (which she maybe fell asleep a little bit for, and later she wonders if she missed anything important, but her dad never put it on any of her lists, which he would've if it meant anything, so she guesses it didn't), and then she danced with a few of the other girls (three different numbers, all in front of this big cross thing, and she was in front of the other girls -- she always was). And then some guys had swords, which didn't make any sense, and then there was more talking and the girl standing next to her had to elbow her awake a couple times. And then they laid down white roses in front of the cross.
And then she got to dance with her father.
He stepped on her feet three times, but she didn't complain. He was trying, and you're not supposed to complain about people when they're trying. That's what her dad said, every time her mom got frustrated that she couldn't say a whole alphabet or got George Washington confused with Glenn Close or asked why Jesus wanted the little children to suffer before they could come next to him. "She's trying, Martha," he'd say, and "It's not her fault," and "You have to be patient." And he wasn't talking to Brittany, then, but she figured that since she was just as good as anyone else, then that meant anyone else was just as good as her, so she was patient with her Dad just like she was patient with the girls at dance class and patient with the doctor who kept asking her where her "owie" was when she'd already told him five times it was a lateral ankle sprain. She didn't complain about her father stepping on her feet, and she didn't try to take the lead even though it would've been better and they could've done more stuff, and she didn't argue when he wanted to go home after dessert instead of staying and dancing more.
And because she was good, and danced well, and didn't complain too much, and stayed sitting up even when she fell asleep during the speeches, her dad gave her a little necklace with a heart-shaped lock on it, and told her he'd hold onto the key until she was ready to give it to someone else. Which she thought was a little silly, because even she knew that it wasn't a real lock, just a necklace, and it wouldn't open, and if it did open she'd just have to close it again so it didn't fall off the chain. But she was patient, and she didn't tell her dad how weird he was; she hugged him and kissed his cheek and said "Thank you, Daddy," and he smiled and hugged her back.
(She tells Santana the story, years later, and Santana makes this face and says it's a good thing she doesn't want the key, because it's not like Brittany's dad would ever hand it off to someone like her. Which is confusing, because Santana's a Catholic, which is almost like being a Christian, and maybe she doesn't go to church right now, but she could -- they could go together, and Santana could elbow her when she falls asleep, or they could even fall asleep together. But Santana doesn't want the key anyway, and it's not like it goes to a real lock, just a fake one on a necklace, so she doesn't point that out.)
A couple of summers after Brittany danced with her father, he sat her down and told her her mom couldn't teach her anymore and that when the summer was over, she'd be going to a big school with teachers that could teach her new things, and that there would be a lot of other kids there, too, but there'd still be someone just for her when she needed them, and that he knew it would be a Big Step with a lot of Adjustments, but they'd make sure that everything she needed to do would be on her lists, and they'd be patient, and it would be a Learning Experience for her. And Brittany was patient, and didn't tell him to say glissade instead of "Big Step," and that she didn't have to do adjustments anymore because she had the best turnout in all of her classes, and that she didn't need to learn anything about steps or adjustments because she pretty much had that all down. She just sat, and listened, and didn't fall asleep, and when it was over, she hugged her father and said "Thank you, Daddy."
Public school wasn't perfect -- there were a lot of kids, and sometimes she felt lost in the middle of all of them, and the teacher who was supposed to be just hers actually wound up being just a lot of people's, and since Brittany didn't throw things or set things on fire, she didn't get a lot of attention. But then some of the kids were pretty cool, especially the boys, and there were dances to go to, and she liked that. Most of the boys were even worse dancers than her father, and they stepped on her toes a lot, but she was patient with them and didn't complain, and it was fun.
Then she learned how to dance lying down, which was even better.
She almost told her old friends from church about it, the girls who'd danced with her in front of the big cross and elbowed her when she fell asleep while people were talking, but they'd gotten really upset when she told them about her school, and the dances, and how she liked dancing with the girls sometimes because they let her lead, but she also liked dancing with boys even if they stepped on her toes. They said she wasn't supposed to dance with boys, that it was leading them into sin. And she got impatient with them and pointed out that she was in advanced ballet now, and danced with Javier and Franklin, all the time, and they just said that was different. And then she got even more impatient and said it wasn't fair of them to judge the boys at her school just because they were bad dancers, and that it wasn't a sin to be bad at something if you tried with your whole heart. And that they were wrong, and she'd dance with whoever she wanted to, because it wasn't sinful to dance.
And then one of them must have told the pastor, because he came and talked to her parents, and her dad got quiet and didn't say much but her mom got really, really impatient and said she wasn't going to deny her daughter the one thing she was good at, and that this wasn't the middle ages, and it wasn't like Javier or Franklin would ever even want to do anything with Brittany, and it was just dancing, not... dancing. Which was confusing, because even the girls at the church hadn't had problems with Brittany dancing with Javier or Franklin -- it was everyone else they were worried about. So obviously someone had gotten screwed up. Except it wasn't Brittany's place to correct the pastor, so she didn't.
Of course, it wasn't Brittany's mom's place to correct the pastor, either, but she did it anyway. In fact, she did it so loud, and for so long, that in the end, all the pastor could say was, "Mrs. Pierce, if I may say so, I'm beginning to wonder if our little fellowship is right for you, since you obviously disagree so strenuously with so many of our most important tenets." And Brittany's mom said, "You know, that's the first halfway intelligent thing you've said all night."
And then he left the house, and Brittany's dad went after him, and talked to him for a while. And then he came back in, and talked very quietly with her mom for a long time. And then her mom started shouting again, saying she wasn't going to apologize and that Brittany was flourishing now and she smiled more and she was happier and "If you care about her that much, Richard, if she's your whole heart, then you wouldn't even think about taking her out of that school. For a second."
So they stopped going to that church and found a new one.
And although Brittany missed her friends, a little, she didn't miss them enough to visit a church that wasn't hers and talk to people who ignored her just so they could tell the pastor and her mom could scream at him some more.
So she didn't bother telling her friends.
(She didn't bother telling her parents, either. Judging by the noises she heard coming out of their room after her dad stopped missing church and started bringing Mom flowers again like he used to, pulling out her chair for her and kissing her on the cheek and squeezing her hand, she figured they already knew about it.)
So she stayed at her new school, and it worked out okay; she met a boy named Mike who wanted to learn to dance like she did, and she helped him learn and was very patient with him, and he did the stuff that her special teacher never had time for, helped her with things and was patient with her. It was almost like having a boyfriend, the way other girls at her school had boyfriends, except Brittany couldn't have boyfriends because boyfriends broke your heart and stole your purity and pulled all the petals off your flower, and the only way to avoid that was to find someone godly to court you, like in the Bible. And okay, Brittany kind of wasn't sure what courtship was meant to be like, but since Mike never told her her boobs were like fawns, and he didn't work for her father and then wind up marrying her sister instead of her and then work for her father some more, and she wasn't his serving girl, she was pretty sure they weren't courting.
But she took him to meet her parents anyway, mostly because they told her she had to, because she spent too much time with him (which made her grateful that the other boys she'd danced with got worn out so quickly, because she wouldn't have wanted to take more than half of them home. Probably less, honestly). She thought they even liked him, at least at first. He was quiet and polite; he brought duck for dinner and had really good table manners and dressed well; when Brittany's dad asked him what his Future Plans were, Mike said he was going to UCLA and he was going to be a doctor, and Brittany's dad seemed to like that.
Then Mike said that UCLA had an excellent dance program, and that he really hoped Brittany would apply and go with him, and that was when things got weird.
The truth was, Brittany'd never thought about going to another school after this one. Honestly, until she'd started going, she'd never thought about school at all. But she liked it, mostly; she didn't like geometry that much, but she liked learning other things -- she liked taking animals apart and seeing how they fit together, like soft, smelly machines. She was okay with history, even if it was way more fun to picture Glenn Close crossing the river on the boat than it was to have to deal with the fact that it was an old dude in a wig and wooden teeth. She liked some of the stuff they read in English, and she was getting good at Spanish. And she liked meeting all different people, and talking to them, and dancing with them, and sometimes even kissing them. She liked having a lot of teachers instead of just her mom, and a lot of other kids around (instead of just her mom). And she really, really, more than anything in the whole wide world, wanted to keep dancing, because even if it wasn't the only thing she could do well, it was still the thing she was better than everyone else at. She wanted to keep dancing, and get even better, and learn even more.
But her dad said she wasn't going to another school after this one, and her mom said, "Well, maybe," and her dad said, "No," she wasn't going, that it wasn't necessary, that they were just grateful they'd had the blessing of God to let her go this far and they didn't need to push for more than they'd been given. And it wasn't the first time he'd said no; he said no when Brittany wanted to do hip-hop dance instead of just ballet and tap, and he said no when Brittany wanted to read the book with the apple on the cover like all her friends from school were, and he said no when she wanted to wear pants. But, for some reason, this was the only "No" that really felt like it mattered. Like, she'd been okay with learning certain moves in Mike's basement instead of in a classroom, with YouTube instead of a real teacher. And she didn't really want to read the apple book that badly; they got an anatomy book instead and she liked that better. And she didn't really need to wear pants as long as she had thick tights for cold days.
And maybe she hadn't known she wanted to go to UCLA until Mike said he wanted her to come with him, but the truth was, she did. She really did.
So for the first time, she lost patience with her father. She didn't shout like her mom did when she lost her patience; she kept her voice low, but she still lost her patience and actually corrected him. She told him that school wasn't "given" to her, that she'd worked hard every single day she was there, and that she didn't have a special teacher working with her most of the time and had to do a lot of things herself, or with Mike, or sometimes with her mom. And she'd done it, all of it, and she could do more, and God wouldn't get mad at her or think she was being greedy, He would help her, because she was helping herself. And she was as good as anyone, and as smart as anyone, and that meant she was as good as Mike, and she could do what Mike did, and she could go to any school that he could.
And then her dad stood up.
And then Mike stood up.
And then Brittany stood up.
And Brittany's mom, still sitting at the table, said she needed to speak to her husband, and would Mike and Brittany please find someplace else to be?
So they went out to the driveway, and sat in the backseat of Mike's car, and they didn't fool around because she didn't fool around with Mike; they just sat there, and when she started crying, he put his arm around her, and when she crawled up into his lap, he held her tighter, and told her she was eighteen, and she could make her own choices, and it wasn't up to her parents anymore. And he'd help her, and they'd get scholarships for her so her parents didn't have to pay anything, and she'd be the best dancer there and she could do anything she wanted and "I believe in you, Brittany."
And then her mom came and got her and told Mike he was a good friend, and not to worry. And then she sent him home.
When they got back in the house, Brittany's dad was gone. Mom said he'd gone to bed.
For the next two weeks, that was where he was when he wasn't at work or praying. He was in bed.
Brittany was pretty sure that meant he was dying, and she felt terrible about it. Her mom had gotten her all these books on UCLA, and videos, and papers to fill out, and the more Brittany saw the books and the videos and the papers, the more she wanted to go. But she didn't want to go if it meant her father was going to die; that would be awful.
(Her mother just rolled her eyes and said, "He's not dying; he's just being a baby." Which didn't make sense, because her dad was fifty-three, and hadn't been a baby for a really long time. But Brittany didn't want to lose patience with her mother, not after what happened with her dad, so she didn't point that out.)
He came out eventually, but it wasn't the same after that. He didn't make pancakes as much, and he didn't come to all of her recitals, and when Brittany and Mike and her mom were all sitting around the kitchen table working on Brittany's college applications (because her mom told her she had to have backup schools, even if UCLA was what she wanted, because it was bad to put all your eggs in one basket, which didn't make sense because eggs go in a carton, but Brittany was patient), her dad sat out in the living room watching Rod Parsley and Joni Lamb and Celebration! with the volume turned up too high, and Brittany's mom would stand up from the table and shout "Grow up, Richard!" at him, and then he'd turn the volume back down, but he never came in and helped them.
Mike danced with Brittany at prom. Brittany's mom danced with her at graduation. Javier and Franklin danced with her over the summer, at a party for all the kids who were leaving the studio.
Her dad never danced with her even once.
And then she went to UCLA.
And she danced with Tina when Tina got drunk, and she danced with Artie even though his legs didn't work, and she danced with Kurt and Mercedes just because. She danced with Mike the night he finally told his father he didn't want to be a doctor anymore, even though he was crying so hard he could barely hold himself up, and it was more like hugging than dancing. She danced with boys who moved like they didn't have bones, and she danced with girls who could shake the ground, and she danced with everyone she could.
But mostly, she danced with Santana. Who was maybe not the best dancer Brittany had ever known (not that she wasn't good, but she just couldn't make Brittany's jaw drop the way some other people could), but somehow, dancing with Santana felt better than dancing with anyone else ever could. They danced upright, and against walls, and on chairs, and on the bed -- they slow-danced with their arms around each other like nervous kids at prom and they danced dirty at clubs without bothering to acknowledge all the guys staring at them, and they did the no-pants sex-dance when they were alone in Brittany's single room, and once they held hands and spun around in the middle of campus just to see what it would be like. And no matter what they did, it was amazing.
Because they were in love. Brittany loved Santana, and although it took Santana forever to actually say it, Santana loved Brittany.
And Brittany stopped wishing her father would dance with her like he did when he as thirteen. Because now she could dance with anyone. With Santana, with Mike, with Kurt and Tina and Artie and Mercedes. She spent four weeks dancing with Beyonce on a mini-tour, six months with Madonna; she danced with Lady Gaga once and with Ke$ha like twenty times. She didn't need to dance with her father anymore.
But then Kurt and Blaine got married. And they had a big dinner to celebrate, and lots of dancing, and Kurt danced with his father, but Blaine didn't have a father to dance with, so he danced with Cooper instead. And it was probably better, because Cooper's a good dancer and didn't step on Blaine's toes once, and they looked at each other like they loved each other, and then Cooper whispered something in Blaine's ear and Blaine stopped dancing and just hugged Cooper tight on the middle of the floor, hugged him for a long time. But something about it made Brittany sad. And the more she thought about it, the sadder she got.
Because it had been ten years since she danced with her father. And she was starting to wonder if she'd ever dance with him again.
*
"B," her father says. "B, honey. What is it? Are you fighting with your roommate again? Because you know if you're having a hard time, you can always --"
Brittany doesn't have a roommate. She lived with Tina for a while, but now she lives by herself, except for when Santana's staying with her or when she's staying with Santana, which is most of the time. (Sometimes she wonders why they can't just be big old lesbians like Kurt and Blaine and live together or even get married -- sure, she'll miss having sex, but they could get cats, and she likes cats, and Santana wouldn't have to worry about rent so much because Brittany has lots of money, but Santana always says that Brittany's money is for Brittany and no one else, and she won't take it, and anyway she'd miss the sex, even if Brittany didn't, and she's allergic to cats.) But she's patient, like always, and she doesn't correct her father even though he's still wrong. "I want you to dance at my wedding," she says, instead.
There's a pause, and then her father says, "Britt. Are you... are you getting married soon?"
"No, but I just..." She wipes her eyes, wipes her nose, too. "Kurt and Blaine got married," she explains. "Yesterday, they got married. And Kurt danced with his father but Blaine had to dance with his brother because his father wasn't there because his father doesn't want him marrying a guy but he did because he loves Kurt, and I love Santana, and I don't have a brother to dance with although I guess I could dance with Mike, but I don't want to dance with him, Dad. I want to dance with you."
Another pause. Her dad says, "Britt," again, and then sighs. "And this is something you and... your friend are talking about now? Getting married?"
"Getting married is for straight people and lesbians with too many cats," Brittany says, softly.
"Okay," her father says.
"But if we decided to be lesbians," Brittany adds. "Because I like cats, and I think I could be -- I'd be a lesbian. For her. And I know her dad would dance with her at the wedding because he likes me better than any boy she's ever dated, and he's happy that we've found each other. And I just want to know if you would dance with me. If Santana ever decides she's tired of being just gay and wants to be lesbians instead."
Another pause, the longest one yet. "And you would want that," her dad says, finally. "You would want me to dance with you. At your wedding."
Brittany sniffles again. "Yes, please," she says, quietly.
"Well, then," her father says. "Just... Just let me know when."
Two weeks later, Santana gets an envelope from Brittany's parents. There's no letter in it, just a tiny gold key on a thin gold chain. Santana holds it in her hands and looks at it with dark, sad eyes.
"It's okay if you still don't want it," Brittany says. "I mean, I know it's not a real lock anyway. It's just a necklace."
Santana pours the necklace from one hand to the other, reaches out and cups Brittany's cheek in her palm. "I know that," she says. "Like you'd ever lock your heart away, anyway."
They smile at each other for a long time. Then Santana passes the necklace over to Brittany, turns around and pulls her hair down over her shoulder so Brittany can see the soft skin at the back of her neck. "Little help?" she asks, when Brittany just sits and watches her.
So Brittany fastens the key around Santana's neck, bending in low to kiss the soft skin just above the clasp, and Santana shivers but lets her keep going anyway.
(They dance, after, just swaying together in Santana's apartment as the light fades and darkness falls around them. And Brittany knows it'll probably be ten more years at least before she ever gets another shot at dancing with her father. But hopefully she'll get there. Someday.)