Coming Undone...
Coming Undone- KoRn
Keep holding on
When my brain's tickin' like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have come Again to get me
Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird
You don't affect me
That's right
Deliverance of my heart
Be straight
Be deliberate
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Choke choke again
I thought my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end
They're out to get me
Since I was young
I've tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet sugar gun
Does not protect me
That's right
Trigger between my eyes
Please strike
Make it quick now
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like i'm not getting better
Not getting better
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
This song is hitting me closer and closer each time I hear it. Right now, the play count is at 47, and It's still repeating...
I am convinced I have some form of an accelerated bi-polar syndrome. I'm not sure if bi-polar is a disease or a syndrome. In either case, however, I think I am somehow inflicted with this problem. I'll be ok for a week or so. Then, something which should really make me upset jut hits me the wrong way and I slip into a depression, which usually lasts a few days. Still, I feel like there is a reason I slip into these bouts. Sometimes it's a month or so that I can feel alright, but it always comes back. and I feel depressed. Why?
I can't take it anymore. I'm tired all the time. I hardly talk to 70% of my friends. All I want to do is either shower or sleep. My one day off a week is spent in bed. Until I have to wake up to drop off Gina and Little Phil at school. Then Wake up again to pick them up. Why can't I have a day to myself? To do what I want.
I am dealing with far too many feelings I haven't really ever felt at this deep level before. I feel guilty. I owe my father $200 a month for my beautiful car. I haven't started paying him yet. I feel like whenever I want to do something for me, there is someone there to make me feel guilty for wanting to do something for me. WHY?! I deserve an occasional break, don't I? Fuck. I've had it. I feel the ever alternating happy/sad from my self-diagnosis as stated above. I feel tired all the time. I feel fatter, too. I feel like i've been eating extraordinarily unhealthy lately. Maybe because I have no time, or is it because I'm too lazy to actually go an extra step for a meal that is a little more health conscious? I feel angry. I don't know why. I feel like people are taking advantage of me. People see that I try to do good for others and they try to manipulate me for their own benefit. Not to say that I am not a manipulator. I manipulate people all the time. I know it's not an admirable quality, but It's a force of habit. I feel scared. I feel like i'm teetering on the edge of all I know & love, and all I fear & hate.
I need a change. And I am trying. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together. But as the song above says: "looks like I'm not getting better". I have held out for so long on this notion that good things come to those who wait. People always tell me they could never see me as a mean person. It's becoming alot easier with the shit that some people are putting me through. I feel like i'm being dragged through a load of shit. Why should I hold out and wait for people to grow up when all I get is excuses, lies and more work back?
I'm starting to suffocate in my life. I feel like all I do is work, eat and sleep. I've already started my changes.
I put in my 2 weeks at Strauss. I cant take it anymore. I finally did it. I said "Fuck it" and I put in my 2 weeks.
I'm going to take some time off and relax. I'm going to spend some time on myself.
I am a good person. No one should ever have to re-affirm themselves of that belief if they ever even once believed it. Why am I second guessing myself?
Keep testing me, and there will be nothing left of the Frankie that everyone used to know...
I promise you...
-F
Keep holding on
When my brain's tickin' like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have come Again to get me
Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird
You don't affect me
That's right
Deliverance of my heart
Be straight
Be deliberate
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Choke choke again
I thought my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end
They're out to get me
Since I was young
I've tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet sugar gun
Does not protect me
That's right
Trigger between my eyes
Please strike
Make it quick now
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like i'm not getting better
Not getting better
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
This song is hitting me closer and closer each time I hear it. Right now, the play count is at 47, and It's still repeating...
I am convinced I have some form of an accelerated bi-polar syndrome. I'm not sure if bi-polar is a disease or a syndrome. In either case, however, I think I am somehow inflicted with this problem. I'll be ok for a week or so. Then, something which should really make me upset jut hits me the wrong way and I slip into a depression, which usually lasts a few days. Still, I feel like there is a reason I slip into these bouts. Sometimes it's a month or so that I can feel alright, but it always comes back. and I feel depressed. Why?
I can't take it anymore. I'm tired all the time. I hardly talk to 70% of my friends. All I want to do is either shower or sleep. My one day off a week is spent in bed. Until I have to wake up to drop off Gina and Little Phil at school. Then Wake up again to pick them up. Why can't I have a day to myself? To do what I want.
I am dealing with far too many feelings I haven't really ever felt at this deep level before. I feel guilty. I owe my father $200 a month for my beautiful car. I haven't started paying him yet. I feel like whenever I want to do something for me, there is someone there to make me feel guilty for wanting to do something for me. WHY?! I deserve an occasional break, don't I? Fuck. I've had it. I feel the ever alternating happy/sad from my self-diagnosis as stated above. I feel tired all the time. I feel fatter, too. I feel like i've been eating extraordinarily unhealthy lately. Maybe because I have no time, or is it because I'm too lazy to actually go an extra step for a meal that is a little more health conscious? I feel angry. I don't know why. I feel like people are taking advantage of me. People see that I try to do good for others and they try to manipulate me for their own benefit. Not to say that I am not a manipulator. I manipulate people all the time. I know it's not an admirable quality, but It's a force of habit. I feel scared. I feel like i'm teetering on the edge of all I know & love, and all I fear & hate.
I need a change. And I am trying. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together. But as the song above says: "looks like I'm not getting better". I have held out for so long on this notion that good things come to those who wait. People always tell me they could never see me as a mean person. It's becoming alot easier with the shit that some people are putting me through. I feel like i'm being dragged through a load of shit. Why should I hold out and wait for people to grow up when all I get is excuses, lies and more work back?
I'm starting to suffocate in my life. I feel like all I do is work, eat and sleep. I've already started my changes.
I put in my 2 weeks at Strauss. I cant take it anymore. I finally did it. I said "Fuck it" and I put in my 2 weeks.
I'm going to take some time off and relax. I'm going to spend some time on myself.
I am a good person. No one should ever have to re-affirm themselves of that belief if they ever even once believed it. Why am I second guessing myself?
Keep testing me, and there will be nothing left of the Frankie that everyone used to know...
I promise you...
-F