"Yeah, no, says Genevieve. "This is fine. You aren't being a creeper at all right now."
"Come on, like you don't do this to your blind dates."
"I don't, actually," says Gen.
Jared considers. "Okay, well, that's just because you're in a committed relationship and don't go on blind dates. You don't remember what it's like."
"Uh huh," she says. "That's totally what it is. In my old, nearly-married age, I've forgotten what it's like to be young and desperate and creepily stalking someone on the internet."
"I just want to make sure he's not a furry or a whackjob or something."
"If he's a furry he probably isn't posting about it under his real name," Gen points out, unhelpfully.
"Gee, that makes me feel better."
"I'm just saying, your stalking is useless and also kind of offensive."
"To furries?"
"To this guy! At least wait until after the first date."
"No, that's way worse," says Jared. "I mean, what if I like him, get home, google him, and find out he's been posting on message boards about how Hitler had some good ideas? It's way better to find that stuff out now, and if anything's a deal breaker, I just call him and tell him I have a headache."
"You have this down to a science," Gen says, but she doesn't sound impressed.
"Shut up," Jared mutters.
In the end, all he finds out about Jensen Ackles is that he has a locked Facebook account with a completely unhelpful profile pic and he wrote his senior thesis about Pablo Neruda.
So he goes to dinner, and it turns out Jensen is really attractive and really funny and really amazing, and they do dinner, and then drinks, and then slightly-drunk making out.
"Do you use any other names on the internet?" Jared asks, kissing his way down Jensen's neck.
"Huh?" asks Jensen.
"You know what, never mind," says Jared, and goes back to what he was doing.
"Come on, like you don't do this to your blind dates."
"I don't, actually," says Gen.
Jared considers. "Okay, well, that's just because you're in a committed relationship and don't go on blind dates. You don't remember what it's like."
"Uh huh," she says. "That's totally what it is. In my old, nearly-married age, I've forgotten what it's like to be young and desperate and creepily stalking someone on the internet."
"I just want to make sure he's not a furry or a whackjob or something."
"If he's a furry he probably isn't posting about it under his real name," Gen points out, unhelpfully.
"Gee, that makes me feel better."
"I'm just saying, your stalking is useless and also kind of offensive."
"To furries?"
"To this guy! At least wait until after the first date."
"No, that's way worse," says Jared. "I mean, what if I like him, get home, google him, and find out he's been posting on message boards about how Hitler had some good ideas? It's way better to find that stuff out now, and if anything's a deal breaker, I just call him and tell him I have a headache."
"You have this down to a science," Gen says, but she doesn't sound impressed.
"Shut up," Jared mutters.
In the end, all he finds out about Jensen Ackles is that he has a locked Facebook account with a completely unhelpful profile pic and he wrote his senior thesis about Pablo Neruda.
So he goes to dinner, and it turns out Jensen is really attractive and really funny and really amazing, and they do dinner, and then drinks, and then slightly-drunk making out.
"Do you use any other names on the internet?" Jared asks, kissing his way down Jensen's neck.
"Huh?" asks Jensen.
"You know what, never mind," says Jared, and goes back to what he was doing.
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