Unfinished (With Fear in Your Smile) [5/?]
Title: Unfinished (With Fear in Your Smile) [5]
Author: longerthanwedo
Beta: melody_so_sweet
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan for now.
Rating: PG-13
POV: 3rd, Brendon centric.
Summary: He’s writing in blood; a feeble attempt to finish the story. The story of his life, of him and him and him. It’s a story of life, of love, of
lions and fireworks and years gone by. It’s a story of blood, plenty of blood.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. Title and inspiration from Something Corporate.
Author’s Note: I just realized that this story is probably not going to be much longer. It’s not the kind with plot twists and stuff. Ah well. Thanks to everyone who comments, and if you haven’t I’d love to hear from you!
Prologue I Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4
The sunset was almost blinding.
It was shrunken and covered in mud with “objects in mirror are closer than they appear” stamped across the bottom, but Brendon’s eyes kept making their way back, drinking in red and gold and purple as land rushed by outside the window. The sound of Ryan’s humming rung in his ears.
There were a dozen shortcuts between here and his house, but Brendon kept them to himself. Ryan was driving beside him, one hand on the wheel and the other in the middle, between the seats, grasping Brendon’s loosely and comfortably. He thought he could maybe stay here, driving in circles, and not want to ever get out.
The scent of Ryan’s car was familiar in an odd way and Brendon leaned back in the seat, unconsciously hoping the smell would sink into his clothes and follow him home.
Home. The car pulled into the driveway, and when the direction changed the sunset slid out of the mirror. Brendon smiled at Ryan and their hands fell apart.
Outside the car the reds and golds in the sky were multiplied, stretching from one corner of Brendon’s vision to the opposite. He turned, and then Ryan’s eyes and his smile blocked the light. He leaned forward, and their lips, burned slightly upward at the corners, locked. He closed his eyes, fingers brushing curly brown hair, and memorized the taste of Ryan along with the smell.
When he opened his eyes it was to catch Ryan’s parting wave and grin, and then the car drove off and he was left staring at the sunset once more, imagining that Ryan’s face was swirling in the colors.
*
Brendon thought maybe he should start measuring time in sunsets instead of hours, minutes, and days. It seemed like the time just before dark was the time he wished would drag on forever, leaving him bathed in soft fading light.
Two and a half sunsets ago, Ryan had kissed Brendon outside his door. Now the not-quite-night sky was stretched out in front of them, undiluted and unrelenting, as they lay side-by-side, sprawled out on the roof of Ryan’s apartment building. It had been Ryan’s idea. Spend a night with the night, with each other, in the warm but not too warm air of January. Brendon hadn’t needed to answer, he just nodded his head and pressed his “yes” without hesitation to Ryan’s lips.
They lay side by side, shoulder to hip, knee to ankle, and Brendon could feel the warmth that seeped subtly from Ryan’s body to his. He wondered if Ryan felt it too.
Brendon’s eyes wandered from the sky to Ryan’s upturned face, and he tried to imagine, to picture the thoughts swirling around in the other man’s brain. It was hard, though, because all Brendon could picture was Ryan. His own mind was filled with his face, his smile, his eyes and his lips, and he couldn’t guess what Ryan was thinking because it probably wasn’t just about Brendon. Ryan probably didn’t look at the sunset and see the precise shade of gold that appeared in Brendon’s eyes, he probably didn’t see the reddish-pink of Brendon’s lips.
Brendon decided it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if he loved Ryan more than Ryan loved him, because they were together and that was all he needed.
He stared at Ryan’s profile and the sun slowly, slowly disappeared.
*
The next sunset was seen through a window; glimpsed briefly in scattered flashes as Brendon’s eyes flew open, shut, open again. He could hardly distinguish the bright flashes of color through the glass and the light behind his eyelids as his hands memorized Ryan’s skin and Ryan’s lips marked his neck.
This sunset, though, two seconds at a time and barely noticed, was the one Brendon knew in the back of his reeling mind that he would never forget.
Even when the sun was gone he could still feel it, feel the warmth, though he wasn’t sure if it was warmth from the sun or from the person lying beside him. He turned onto his side, relaxing, a sleepy smile on his face, and with one last kiss from Ryan, let his eyes slip closed.