Aren't we all just imitating what the other person expects? When someone asks "How are you?" do you say what they want to hear or do you answer truthfully? I am learning that having those past connections can lead to confusion if the other person only wants friendship. So in that regard you have an advantage over me.
Depending on the situation, it can be either an asset, or a liability.
Most of the time, it's a liability. Not knowing how to behave in a complex social situation can make you seem like a pariah, and at least in my case, it makes me extremely uncomfortable in any situation without clear, logical protocol (such as buying groceries, you get in line, pay leave). I've gotten better at jumping through the expected hoops, but I suspect some of the finer points will always mystify me.
It can be an asset because it allows me to be frank to (and beyond) the point of bluntness in situations others fear to tread. I don't sugar-coat the turds.
And yet... it sounds so much like you want to make contact. Like you miss contact with other people. When I've been around you, I haven't found you to be a "cold bastard," you seem to be one of the few people who genuinely is concerned about me. Making genuine authentic contact with someone always involves a risk. I think you are just more sensative, and more aware of that risk, than most people.
Malcolm, you fall into the very narrowly-defined group of peers. I relate to you because you have the same (or at least similar) problems relating to others.
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Most of the time, it's a liability. Not knowing how to behave in a complex social situation can make you seem like a pariah, and at least in my case, it makes me extremely uncomfortable in any situation without clear, logical protocol (such as buying groceries, you get in line, pay leave). I've gotten better at jumping through the expected hoops, but I suspect some of the finer points will always mystify me.
It can be an asset because it allows me to be frank to (and beyond) the point of bluntness in situations others fear to tread. I don't sugar-coat the turds.
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