(no subject)
Just visited my boy, focus on that...
So, the asshole's living up to his name... Good gravy.
I finally decided no, I don't feel like going up to be miserable for a while. I'm pretty fond of my happiness right here.
"I'm not coming up."
"Not at all?"
"No."
"Can I ask why?"
"I really don't like the holidays and don't see why they should be any different from any other day, and I really don't want to drive up and back..."
"...It would be best for me not to say anything. It'll just make things worse."
"Alright."
"Should I take your gifts back?"
"I don't care."
"No, I wouldn't do that to you."
"Alright."
"Just think about this: the holidays are about family, not about the individual."
"Okay."
UGH. -headdesk- He will never get it, will he? At least I'm not giving him false hope.
I don't ask for anything from him, really. I asked him if he'd make good on an offer to pay for my saddle. He did, sorta. I don't ask for gifts, I don't ask for holiday anythings. I don't care if he takes the gifts back.
And the holidays are about family, I know. But I really don't do holidays. The only reason I'm even trying is for my little brother, who doesn't get it. And he's not family, he's a royal pain in my ass. Oi.
At least I made progress with my horse. He nailed every lead change I threw at him, with only one little squirrely one. He ran his heart out for me. He didn't even panic by himself in the Blue when I was saddling him. I'm very proud of him.
I need to work on the whole "working by himself" thing, cause he wasn't very willing to play alone. Nor was he willing to leave the gate alone. But those problems can be fixed. I will make it happen.
He's the sweetest little thing. I was singing as I went to catch him, and he was at the fence before I was even halfway to his pen. He practically shoved his face in the halter, he was so ready to go. And afterwards... he bowed and stretched for cookies and not for cookies... and wouldn't leave me alone as I was trying to leave.
I love my Bandit boy. He's the bright spot in my life.
So, the asshole's living up to his name... Good gravy.
I finally decided no, I don't feel like going up to be miserable for a while. I'm pretty fond of my happiness right here.
"I'm not coming up."
"Not at all?"
"No."
"Can I ask why?"
"I really don't like the holidays and don't see why they should be any different from any other day, and I really don't want to drive up and back..."
"...It would be best for me not to say anything. It'll just make things worse."
"Alright."
"Should I take your gifts back?"
"I don't care."
"No, I wouldn't do that to you."
"Alright."
"Just think about this: the holidays are about family, not about the individual."
"Okay."
UGH. -headdesk- He will never get it, will he? At least I'm not giving him false hope.
I don't ask for anything from him, really. I asked him if he'd make good on an offer to pay for my saddle. He did, sorta. I don't ask for gifts, I don't ask for holiday anythings. I don't care if he takes the gifts back.
And the holidays are about family, I know. But I really don't do holidays. The only reason I'm even trying is for my little brother, who doesn't get it. And he's not family, he's a royal pain in my ass. Oi.
At least I made progress with my horse. He nailed every lead change I threw at him, with only one little squirrely one. He ran his heart out for me. He didn't even panic by himself in the Blue when I was saddling him. I'm very proud of him.
I need to work on the whole "working by himself" thing, cause he wasn't very willing to play alone. Nor was he willing to leave the gate alone. But those problems can be fixed. I will make it happen.
He's the sweetest little thing. I was singing as I went to catch him, and he was at the fence before I was even halfway to his pen. He practically shoved his face in the halter, he was so ready to go. And afterwards... he bowed and stretched for cookies and not for cookies... and wouldn't leave me alone as I was trying to leave.
I love my Bandit boy. He's the bright spot in my life.