Superman Tonight (19/?)
Title: Superman Tonight (19/?)
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R overall, mainly for the odd swear-word
Genre: Pre-slash, angst, hurt/comfort
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, Dean/Cas pre-slash, Aziraphale/Crowley slash
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2481 (this part, 41454 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Author's Note: Just wanted to say thanks to my fantastic beta for this story,
of_red_clouds - you're awesome!
Another Note: OMC!!! I've gone past 40000 words!! *grins*
Previous Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
And now:
Chapter 19
“You’ve got a real knack for finding the worst conversation topics available, you know that Sasquatch?”
“I’m not sure I…”
“We’re in a memory…my memory, to be precise,” Gabriel cut in. “And I’d appreciate it if you kept what you see here to yourself, it’s beyond private kid.”
“Then why bring me here at all?”
“Well, as much fun as our little sleepovers in your head are Sammy, I’m not really feeling my best today, so I thought we’d stay at mine, save some energy…and since Angels don’t generally sleep, no dreams, and I’m not really up to playing make believe, so we get memories instead,” he replied flippantly before loosing Sam’s hands - *how long had I been holding them?* he wondered in surprise - and dropping backwards to lie on the ground again, muttering softly “Couldn’t have been the damn triplets from Atlantis or my last century with Kali, either could it…? Nope, Dad’s gotta screw me over with a trip down sucky-memory lane!”
“I won’t say a word…not that there’s really much to tell anyway though - what did you do, spend a whole day watching the sky in silence?”
Gabriel raised his head slightly to see the incredulous look on Sam’s face at that.
Okay, so he wasn’t generally a quiet person…that didn’t mean he was incapable of being still did it? He just wasn’t fond of it, that’s all. Stillness, quiet, it led to thinking, which generally led to thoughts of home…
“It’s frozen. I thought maybe I’d keep it frozen until we left, but it’s taking a bit more effort than I’d thought it would - probably because I brought you in as well - so I’m gonna have to let it go in a bit, let it play out…I’ll probably get sucked into playing my role” - he was sure Sam wouldn’t miss the irony there - “instead of watching so you’ll probably be on your own kiddo. You won’t be able to interact, so if you’d rather wander around there’s plenty more to see through the trees - you don’t have to stick around for the show.”
With that Gabriel decided to just get it over with. Any other questions his human had could wait.
Taking a deep breath Gabriel let go of the memory as, with a snap of his fingers, he sent Sam back to where the hunter had woken on the other side of the clearing. He rolled back onto his side and curled in on himself, closing his eyes as things started moving forward with a rustle of leaves in the wind and the twittering of birds in the trees above.
SPNSPNSPN
Between one breath and the next Sam found himself on the far side of the clearing again, staring as Gabriel huddled back in on himself with an air of sorrow so thick that the hunter wanted to insist that Gabriel wake them, that the rest they’d already gotten could suffice for now.
He took a few steps forward before the Archangel’s words repeated in his mind.
“You won’t be able to interact…”
That probably included telling Gabriel to wake them. All he could do was watch, and wait for it to run its course then. Or…
“…you don’t have to stick around for the show…”
Even as the thought crossed his mind, Sam dismissed it with a surge of anger and guilt - he couldn’t abandon Gabriel to whatever was about to happen. Whatever this memory was was painful for the Archangel, and Sam might not be able to do anything practical, but he could be there, and maybe his presence would make things just a tiny bit easier for Gabriel - maybe his support, their bond, would help.
He couldn’t deny that he was a little bit curious too though - he knew so little of Gabriel’s history, and here was the chance to learn something he was sure he’d never have been told otherwise. It was a selfish thought, but to say he didn’t want to know would be a lie, and Sam was trying the whole ‘honesty’ thing these days, wasn’t he?
With a new resolve, Sam began to walk forward again, stopping a few metres from Gabriel to sit on a large, worn rock.
After a few seconds he realised that Gabriel was speaking - a low sound, barely above a whisper, and in a language Sam had never heard before. It would have sounded beautiful if the Angel’s voice hadn’t been so strained and shaky. He wished he could understand the words…
“…fault, don’t blame him Brother…Please, it was my fault. He didn’t know, didn’t understand…Brother, hear me, please - it’s not his fault…”
Sam’s eyes widened as the lyrical sounds became plain English and he realised what must have happened. Gabriel, while he might be stuck in his past self’s role, could still access their bond, could still hear Sam’s thoughts, and had…what? Switched to English? Given Sam an understanding of the strange language? Well, whatever he’d done, it wasn’t important - what mattered was Gabriel knew he was there, knew he’d stuck around, and was apparently grateful enough (despite the loss of privacy) to translate so that Sam would understand what was happening.
As Gabriel’s murmurings continued Sam wondered what they were about - what had happened? Who was Gabriel trying to protect, and from whom?
He didn’t have to wait long, as only moments later a bright glow began to grow in the air a few feet in front of the Archangel. Just as the brightness reached levels that made Sam squint, he felt a burst of apology across the bond and the light disappeared, replaced with a human figure. With a start he realised that the newcomer was an Angel, and that Gabriel must have masked the memory of it’s Grace with the Angel’s human vessel.
The man was tall - not as tall as Sam, but close…definitely taller than Dean - and had short blond hair. He was also, Sam realised suddenly, very familiar. With a stifled snort, Sam rolled his eyes - there was no guessing who this man - Angel - was.
That Gabriel had modelled his brother’s vessel after an actor who had portrayed Michael in a film where he’d been mankind’s champion against Heaven was telling…he wondered whether it was a conscious move on his friend’s part or not. Perhaps it was just a manifestation of Gabriel’s wish for his big brother to be on his side, instead of against him…
“Gabriel.”
At Michael’s voice Gabriel’s own was silenced. He slowly uncurled and rose to his feet without once lifting his head. Sam, sat side on to the two, could see that he kept his eyes closed.
“Michael…Brother…”
At the second word his eyes opened, fixing on Michael’s face even as his head remained bowed. The pleading look on his face was clear, and Sam wondered what it was for. What had happened?
“Brother? You would do this…you would disobey, and incite disobedience in one entrusted to your care, and then call me Brother as if you have done no wrong?”
Michael’s voice was hard, his face completely blank - the emptiness in his expression terrified Sam. There was no heat behind his anger, no fire in it - it was cold and calculated, his words chosen to cut. ‘Magnificent and kind’, Gabriel had called him when he’d described him before Lucifer’s fall.
Sam had thought he’d understood what Gabriel had meant, when he’d described the change, when he’d tried to impress on Sam how dangerous he could become…
He hadn’t even come close to understanding, he realised now. If what happened to Michael ever happened to Gabriel, it wouldn’t be the end of the world...
The end of the world was what they’d all be praying for.
Sam clamped down on the thought even as it formed, and forced it away from the bond - hopefully before Gabriel had sensed it. He focussed back on the Archangels in front of him in time to hear Gabriel reply.
“Disobedience? Michael, Father left…He left us! Our brothers and sisters distrust one another, there is fighting even now - there is talk of attempting to merge the bloodlines, to breed your vessel line with Lucifer’s…you know what that would bring, Brother! Is it disobedience to guard against our brothers’ interference on Earth?”
Gabriel had never sounded as lost, as broken and unsure as he did in that moment, begging Michael to agree, to tell him that he was right…
“Our Father has not ordered your interference, and in your arrogance you assume that because you have received none, he has given orders to none other of our brothers. The unrest in the Host is…unfortunate…but it will be dealt with. As for the bloodlines, it is not your concern.”
Gabriel had listened in silence, had accepted Michael’s chastisement in a manner that was unrecognisable as the Gabriel Sam knew.
Sam had always thought, from what Gabriel had said, that it had been the war with Lucifer that had broken the Archangel - had turned him into the cynical being who hid behind a mask of jokes and pranks, of banter and wit and sarcasm - but the Gabriel in front of him was nothing like the Trickster Sam knew. This Gabriel still trusted his big brother to know best, and Sam had the horrible feeling that this memory was the moment that changed.
“You presume to act on your own authority, to know our Father’s will, and you involve your fledgling in your crime Gabriel. He could have been a fine soldier…”
“No!!!”
As Michael allowed the sentence to trail off Gabriel finally reacted, his head shooting up as he exclaimed in protest. Sam had never heard the term ‘fledgling’ used by Angels before, but given its meaning in the avian world he had a horrible feeling he now knew who Gabriel was afraid would be blamed.
“Where is he? It’s not his fault Michael, please! He didn’t know we had no orders I swear! What have you done with him…?”
The dread in Gabriel’s voice as he forced out the last few words made Sam feel sick - what were the Angels truly capable of, that Gabriel could be so afraid of asking the question?
“You are in no position to be demanding information, Brother,” Michael sneered, his face twisting in what Sam thought was disgust with the last word.
“Please…Michael, do what you must with me, but please…do not let my mistake bring punishment on him…”
Gabriel’s begging was hard for Sam to watch - to see the Archangel so humbled, so small and powerless…it was just wrong. The hunter held his breath as he waited for Michael’s answer, moments passing in a torturous silence as the elder Archangel studied his brother.
“He will be sent for re-education,” Michael said at last.
Gabriel paled to white even as his shoulders dropped and his breath released. His face became a bizarre mix of gratitude and fear, and Sam realised he must have been afraid for his fledgling’s life, if something that could inspire fear even now could be accepted with gratitude.
“Your influence will be removed, and he will be sent to Anael’s garrison to serve our Father as he was created to, unquestioningly. If you ever attempt to contact him, or exert any influence over him, he will be dealt with, swiftly. Do not doubt that Gabriel.”
“Thank you Br…Michael.” Gabriel whispered, catching himself as Michael narrowed his eyes in anger at the endearment and using his brother’s name instead. His head had fallen again, his eyes the only thing fixed upwards as his gaze never once left the older Angel. “And me…?”
“You will leave. You want to go play on Earth so badly? Then go. You’re no longer welcome among the Host, Gabriel. Leave. But stay away from the vessel bloodlines.”
Gabriel’s head raised slightly at this, and Sam thought for a second that he might argue, but Michael spoke again before he could utter a word.
“I will not hesitate to cast both you and your fledgling into perdition if you interfere with our Father’s Plan. Now go, you are no more fit to be in The Garden than they were.”
Before Sam had chance to wonder at the last statement - he could think of only one ‘Garden’, and that he had seen it, even in a memory… - the scene blinked out of existence, replaced by a mountain-top with nothing but ice, rocks and snow in sight. He took a second to wonder at the lack of cold before he noticed that Gabriel had fallen to his knees, his head still bowed.
Without even thinking about it, Sam strode over to the Angel and reached down to put a hand on his shoulder. The figure beside him made no reaction - after all, in his memory he had been alone, there would be nothing for him to react to - but the roiling pain and despair that had been slowly building in his chest throughout the confrontation eased slightly as he felt Gabriel calm through the bond at his presence.
They stayed like that - still, silent - for what felt to Sam like hours.
His earlier teasing of the Archangel about his lack of stillness no longer seemed funny, and he wondered how much of Gabriel’s behaviour they had misinterpreted over the years - how much was Gabriel, and how much was masks, defense mechanisms, and distractions?
He wondered what Gabriel had been like before Michael had broken him and cast him out, and he felt shame over their words to the Archangel in the warehouse. He hadn’t even defended himself against their accusations, against the way they’d labelled him a coward…
He hadn’t run away - he’d been banished, exiled, thrown out of the only home he’d ever known by a family member who should have loved him unconditionally…Sam’s mind drew a comparison here that he quickly dismissed. His father had never truly disowned him, and they’d reunited with an ease that had surprised even Sam when it had happened. It didn’t begin to compare to Gabriel’s story.
And Sam’s brother hadn’t betrayed him. Despite everything Sam had done, Dean had stuck by him in the end, and Sam found a new understanding for Gabriel’s actions in Broward County. Gabriel knew what losing your family felt like - knew what it could do - and he was trying to help Sam find a way to deal with it, but it was more than that, whether Gabriel admitted or even realised it or not.
He hadn’t just been trying to teach Sam, he had been punishing Dean.
He had been punishing him for being to Sam what Michael hadn’t to him - a loyal and loving big brother.
Finally, the world around them began to darken, to blur out of focus, and with Gabriel radiating reassurance through their bond, as Sam’s eyes drifted closed he didn’t fight it.
It was time to wake up.
Chapter 20
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R overall, mainly for the odd swear-word
Genre: Pre-slash, angst, hurt/comfort
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, Dean/Cas pre-slash, Aziraphale/Crowley slash
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2481 (this part, 41454 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Author's Note: Just wanted to say thanks to my fantastic beta for this story,
of_red_clouds - you're awesome!
Another Note: OMC!!! I've gone past 40000 words!! *grins*
Previous Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
And now:
Chapter 19
“You’ve got a real knack for finding the worst conversation topics available, you know that Sasquatch?”
“I’m not sure I…”
“We’re in a memory…my memory, to be precise,” Gabriel cut in. “And I’d appreciate it if you kept what you see here to yourself, it’s beyond private kid.”
“Then why bring me here at all?”
“Well, as much fun as our little sleepovers in your head are Sammy, I’m not really feeling my best today, so I thought we’d stay at mine, save some energy…and since Angels don’t generally sleep, no dreams, and I’m not really up to playing make believe, so we get memories instead,” he replied flippantly before loosing Sam’s hands - *how long had I been holding them?* he wondered in surprise - and dropping backwards to lie on the ground again, muttering softly “Couldn’t have been the damn triplets from Atlantis or my last century with Kali, either could it…? Nope, Dad’s gotta screw me over with a trip down sucky-memory lane!”
“I won’t say a word…not that there’s really much to tell anyway though - what did you do, spend a whole day watching the sky in silence?”
Gabriel raised his head slightly to see the incredulous look on Sam’s face at that.
Okay, so he wasn’t generally a quiet person…that didn’t mean he was incapable of being still did it? He just wasn’t fond of it, that’s all. Stillness, quiet, it led to thinking, which generally led to thoughts of home…
“It’s frozen. I thought maybe I’d keep it frozen until we left, but it’s taking a bit more effort than I’d thought it would - probably because I brought you in as well - so I’m gonna have to let it go in a bit, let it play out…I’ll probably get sucked into playing my role” - he was sure Sam wouldn’t miss the irony there - “instead of watching so you’ll probably be on your own kiddo. You won’t be able to interact, so if you’d rather wander around there’s plenty more to see through the trees - you don’t have to stick around for the show.”
With that Gabriel decided to just get it over with. Any other questions his human had could wait.
Taking a deep breath Gabriel let go of the memory as, with a snap of his fingers, he sent Sam back to where the hunter had woken on the other side of the clearing. He rolled back onto his side and curled in on himself, closing his eyes as things started moving forward with a rustle of leaves in the wind and the twittering of birds in the trees above.
SPNSPNSPN
Between one breath and the next Sam found himself on the far side of the clearing again, staring as Gabriel huddled back in on himself with an air of sorrow so thick that the hunter wanted to insist that Gabriel wake them, that the rest they’d already gotten could suffice for now.
He took a few steps forward before the Archangel’s words repeated in his mind.
“You won’t be able to interact…”
That probably included telling Gabriel to wake them. All he could do was watch, and wait for it to run its course then. Or…
“…you don’t have to stick around for the show…”
Even as the thought crossed his mind, Sam dismissed it with a surge of anger and guilt - he couldn’t abandon Gabriel to whatever was about to happen. Whatever this memory was was painful for the Archangel, and Sam might not be able to do anything practical, but he could be there, and maybe his presence would make things just a tiny bit easier for Gabriel - maybe his support, their bond, would help.
He couldn’t deny that he was a little bit curious too though - he knew so little of Gabriel’s history, and here was the chance to learn something he was sure he’d never have been told otherwise. It was a selfish thought, but to say he didn’t want to know would be a lie, and Sam was trying the whole ‘honesty’ thing these days, wasn’t he?
With a new resolve, Sam began to walk forward again, stopping a few metres from Gabriel to sit on a large, worn rock.
After a few seconds he realised that Gabriel was speaking - a low sound, barely above a whisper, and in a language Sam had never heard before. It would have sounded beautiful if the Angel’s voice hadn’t been so strained and shaky. He wished he could understand the words…
“…fault, don’t blame him Brother…Please, it was my fault. He didn’t know, didn’t understand…Brother, hear me, please - it’s not his fault…”
Sam’s eyes widened as the lyrical sounds became plain English and he realised what must have happened. Gabriel, while he might be stuck in his past self’s role, could still access their bond, could still hear Sam’s thoughts, and had…what? Switched to English? Given Sam an understanding of the strange language? Well, whatever he’d done, it wasn’t important - what mattered was Gabriel knew he was there, knew he’d stuck around, and was apparently grateful enough (despite the loss of privacy) to translate so that Sam would understand what was happening.
As Gabriel’s murmurings continued Sam wondered what they were about - what had happened? Who was Gabriel trying to protect, and from whom?
He didn’t have to wait long, as only moments later a bright glow began to grow in the air a few feet in front of the Archangel. Just as the brightness reached levels that made Sam squint, he felt a burst of apology across the bond and the light disappeared, replaced with a human figure. With a start he realised that the newcomer was an Angel, and that Gabriel must have masked the memory of it’s Grace with the Angel’s human vessel.
The man was tall - not as tall as Sam, but close…definitely taller than Dean - and had short blond hair. He was also, Sam realised suddenly, very familiar. With a stifled snort, Sam rolled his eyes - there was no guessing who this man - Angel - was.
That Gabriel had modelled his brother’s vessel after an actor who had portrayed Michael in a film where he’d been mankind’s champion against Heaven was telling…he wondered whether it was a conscious move on his friend’s part or not. Perhaps it was just a manifestation of Gabriel’s wish for his big brother to be on his side, instead of against him…
“Gabriel.”
At Michael’s voice Gabriel’s own was silenced. He slowly uncurled and rose to his feet without once lifting his head. Sam, sat side on to the two, could see that he kept his eyes closed.
“Michael…Brother…”
At the second word his eyes opened, fixing on Michael’s face even as his head remained bowed. The pleading look on his face was clear, and Sam wondered what it was for. What had happened?
“Brother? You would do this…you would disobey, and incite disobedience in one entrusted to your care, and then call me Brother as if you have done no wrong?”
Michael’s voice was hard, his face completely blank - the emptiness in his expression terrified Sam. There was no heat behind his anger, no fire in it - it was cold and calculated, his words chosen to cut. ‘Magnificent and kind’, Gabriel had called him when he’d described him before Lucifer’s fall.
Sam had thought he’d understood what Gabriel had meant, when he’d described the change, when he’d tried to impress on Sam how dangerous he could become…
He hadn’t even come close to understanding, he realised now. If what happened to Michael ever happened to Gabriel, it wouldn’t be the end of the world...
The end of the world was what they’d all be praying for.
Sam clamped down on the thought even as it formed, and forced it away from the bond - hopefully before Gabriel had sensed it. He focussed back on the Archangels in front of him in time to hear Gabriel reply.
“Disobedience? Michael, Father left…He left us! Our brothers and sisters distrust one another, there is fighting even now - there is talk of attempting to merge the bloodlines, to breed your vessel line with Lucifer’s…you know what that would bring, Brother! Is it disobedience to guard against our brothers’ interference on Earth?”
Gabriel had never sounded as lost, as broken and unsure as he did in that moment, begging Michael to agree, to tell him that he was right…
“Our Father has not ordered your interference, and in your arrogance you assume that because you have received none, he has given orders to none other of our brothers. The unrest in the Host is…unfortunate…but it will be dealt with. As for the bloodlines, it is not your concern.”
Gabriel had listened in silence, had accepted Michael’s chastisement in a manner that was unrecognisable as the Gabriel Sam knew.
Sam had always thought, from what Gabriel had said, that it had been the war with Lucifer that had broken the Archangel - had turned him into the cynical being who hid behind a mask of jokes and pranks, of banter and wit and sarcasm - but the Gabriel in front of him was nothing like the Trickster Sam knew. This Gabriel still trusted his big brother to know best, and Sam had the horrible feeling that this memory was the moment that changed.
“You presume to act on your own authority, to know our Father’s will, and you involve your fledgling in your crime Gabriel. He could have been a fine soldier…”
“No!!!”
As Michael allowed the sentence to trail off Gabriel finally reacted, his head shooting up as he exclaimed in protest. Sam had never heard the term ‘fledgling’ used by Angels before, but given its meaning in the avian world he had a horrible feeling he now knew who Gabriel was afraid would be blamed.
“Where is he? It’s not his fault Michael, please! He didn’t know we had no orders I swear! What have you done with him…?”
The dread in Gabriel’s voice as he forced out the last few words made Sam feel sick - what were the Angels truly capable of, that Gabriel could be so afraid of asking the question?
“You are in no position to be demanding information, Brother,” Michael sneered, his face twisting in what Sam thought was disgust with the last word.
“Please…Michael, do what you must with me, but please…do not let my mistake bring punishment on him…”
Gabriel’s begging was hard for Sam to watch - to see the Archangel so humbled, so small and powerless…it was just wrong. The hunter held his breath as he waited for Michael’s answer, moments passing in a torturous silence as the elder Archangel studied his brother.
“He will be sent for re-education,” Michael said at last.
Gabriel paled to white even as his shoulders dropped and his breath released. His face became a bizarre mix of gratitude and fear, and Sam realised he must have been afraid for his fledgling’s life, if something that could inspire fear even now could be accepted with gratitude.
“Your influence will be removed, and he will be sent to Anael’s garrison to serve our Father as he was created to, unquestioningly. If you ever attempt to contact him, or exert any influence over him, he will be dealt with, swiftly. Do not doubt that Gabriel.”
“Thank you Br…Michael.” Gabriel whispered, catching himself as Michael narrowed his eyes in anger at the endearment and using his brother’s name instead. His head had fallen again, his eyes the only thing fixed upwards as his gaze never once left the older Angel. “And me…?”
“You will leave. You want to go play on Earth so badly? Then go. You’re no longer welcome among the Host, Gabriel. Leave. But stay away from the vessel bloodlines.”
Gabriel’s head raised slightly at this, and Sam thought for a second that he might argue, but Michael spoke again before he could utter a word.
“I will not hesitate to cast both you and your fledgling into perdition if you interfere with our Father’s Plan. Now go, you are no more fit to be in The Garden than they were.”
Before Sam had chance to wonder at the last statement - he could think of only one ‘Garden’, and that he had seen it, even in a memory… - the scene blinked out of existence, replaced by a mountain-top with nothing but ice, rocks and snow in sight. He took a second to wonder at the lack of cold before he noticed that Gabriel had fallen to his knees, his head still bowed.
Without even thinking about it, Sam strode over to the Angel and reached down to put a hand on his shoulder. The figure beside him made no reaction - after all, in his memory he had been alone, there would be nothing for him to react to - but the roiling pain and despair that had been slowly building in his chest throughout the confrontation eased slightly as he felt Gabriel calm through the bond at his presence.
They stayed like that - still, silent - for what felt to Sam like hours.
His earlier teasing of the Archangel about his lack of stillness no longer seemed funny, and he wondered how much of Gabriel’s behaviour they had misinterpreted over the years - how much was Gabriel, and how much was masks, defense mechanisms, and distractions?
He wondered what Gabriel had been like before Michael had broken him and cast him out, and he felt shame over their words to the Archangel in the warehouse. He hadn’t even defended himself against their accusations, against the way they’d labelled him a coward…
He hadn’t run away - he’d been banished, exiled, thrown out of the only home he’d ever known by a family member who should have loved him unconditionally…Sam’s mind drew a comparison here that he quickly dismissed. His father had never truly disowned him, and they’d reunited with an ease that had surprised even Sam when it had happened. It didn’t begin to compare to Gabriel’s story.
And Sam’s brother hadn’t betrayed him. Despite everything Sam had done, Dean had stuck by him in the end, and Sam found a new understanding for Gabriel’s actions in Broward County. Gabriel knew what losing your family felt like - knew what it could do - and he was trying to help Sam find a way to deal with it, but it was more than that, whether Gabriel admitted or even realised it or not.
He hadn’t just been trying to teach Sam, he had been punishing Dean.
He had been punishing him for being to Sam what Michael hadn’t to him - a loyal and loving big brother.
Finally, the world around them began to darken, to blur out of focus, and with Gabriel radiating reassurance through their bond, as Sam’s eyes drifted closed he didn’t fight it.
It was time to wake up.
Chapter 20