i wish i had an explanation, but i don't.
Well we had a 1/2 day yesterday. Very nice. It was great outside. I cut the grass then I fell asleep outside for like an 1 1/2. I got alotta sun. My face is pretty red but it'll get dark sooooon! I got my hair cut (again) and hi-lighted. I love it!!! Tomorrow is Friday and I have nothing planned once again. This morning was so wonderfully odd. But I love moments like those... ahh Andy is fuckin awesome. I'm really glad we started talkin.. hopefully I'll see him & hang out w/him ova the summer ALOT!!!
ugh I just don't know.
Take a good look at me.
Do I look oh-kay to you?
My arms & face are all bruised.
This is what I get from you?
Why?
I didn't deserve this from you.
You hurt me.
I'm a fool to believe that you love me.
This isn't love.
You used me, beat me, & ruined me.
And for what,
To make yourself feel good?
You're sick.
Well here then I hope this makes you feel good
You will NEVER hurt me again.
Fuck you, it's over.
Good-Bye.
------------------------------------------
I want you. I need you. Why don't you see me like I see you? Yeah were friends & all but why can't it be more? I wish things could be different... I just want you to want me, like I want you! We could make eachother happy. We've been there for eachother through so much. Don't you wanna be happy? Don't you want someone that loves you? Well when you decide on what you want, pick up the phone.... I'll be on the other line. Waiting for you!
----------------------------------------------
Why do things happen the way they do?
How can you treat me like that?
No-one, not even me deserves that.
It's like I'm not even real.
I have feelings too.
You need to realize some things before we go on.
How could I fall for a guy like you?
I promised myself I wouldn't put myself into a situation like this.
Look where you put me.
------------------------------------------------
Can someone please explain to me what it is to be happy?
I can't remember what happiness feels like.
Yes, it's been that long since I was happy.
People think I'm happy but I'm NOT.
I act like it, but it's all an act.
It's been nothing but a fake smile.
I hate liars but that's all I've been doing,
but what am I supposed to do?
I don't want people on my case about what's wrong,
So I pretend.
Everything is so messed up,
nothing goes right.
Why?
Happiness should be in everyone's life.
So why isn't it a part of mine?
Guys, family, friends, music, & drugs...
nothing seems to work.
I'm not happy with myself,
so I can't be happy with you or anyone else.
This is so real.
Believe it.
---------------------------------------
This is me.... STRIPPED.
((the real me is starting to show, will you be able to handle it?))