(no subject)
so im baccckkkkk.
you miss me?
it was perfect
but what isnt since i have been with him.
mexico our escape. i love him.
i went to nikkis the other day.
she asked some of us to go see mom.
i hate going there
i went of course
buti hate it there...
the popo showing up bringing me to the lowest to the grown not being able to feel what i feel.
no understanding what how any of it could happen. his warm touch and the smell of his cologne was still with me. how can in a half bhour someone leave you..... i never go there... ever.. i like to belive his coming back like on my wedding like a surprise. like a child in a way knows santa doesnt exsist but likes to hope to see him one night.b then i go there and its like BAM BAM you moron its not going to happen. but then it hit me as i sat there cryiing while nikki was withher mom. and his stone had bird poo on it and i wiped it with my hand. how i then felt like the world worst daughter. he didnt even want to be burried and here selfish kortnie goes putting a piece of him in the ground. and then not goign to see him. why did i even bother... wow i hate myself for that. i want to burry it up and set him free. but i know thats not possible. so today i got mulch and flowers and went to his grave and cleaned the stone off and planted flowers. im going to see him a nlot now. i think i need to see someone. i think i will. im sick of not apreciating myself. or holding my self down low so much. i dont want to have a temper anymore.n i want to make theones i love happy. espically him. i really cant loose him. and if i loose him to my way of how i am i will nver forgive myself. ever.
happy daddys day
love daddys lil girl <3
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
i am the autumns gentle rain
When you awaken in the mornings
Of quiet brids in circled flight I am
The soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there I did not die.