To Love You More.
Title: To Love You More.
Chapter: 3 of 3.
Author: lonely_heartz
Fandom: Johnny’s Entertainment (KAT-TUN/NewS)
Pairing: JinDa, RyoDa.
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Summary: Yamapi & Kame are having problems. Ryo tries to help Yamapi the best that he can but in the process, Ryo sort of neglects Ueda because in his belief, Yamapi needs him more than Ueda does now and instead, Ueda finds comfort in Jin. Jin being who he is, takes advantage of every single opportunity that he gets.
Chapter 1: http://community.livejournal.com/kattunlove/1763819.html#cutid1
Chapter 2: http://lonely-heartz.livejournal.com/2430.html#cutid2
On the way to Ueda’s apartment, Ryo ran into Ikuta Toma.
“Oi Ryo! Where are you headed? Could you give me a lift to Bauhaus? I’m in serious need of a drink and my car just broke.”
“I can’t. I have somewhere I need to be. It’s important.” Ryo said in a rush, already way ahead of Toma when he said something that made Ryo halt.
“I’ve heard. But I suggest that you come with me. I know you and at this state of yours, you’d do more harm than actually solve the problem. Do you really think that meeting with Ueda-kun all hot-headed is a good idea?”
At Toma’s statement, Ryo kicked the nearest object he could find because he knew Toma‘s right.
“That’s what I thought. So, you come with me and I won’t let you near Ueda-kun until you have calmed down enough to talk to him decently.” Toma placed a hand on Ryo’s shoulder.
“What do you care anyway?” Ryo mumbled while he gritted his teeth and balled his fists.
“I care because you’re my friend. I care because I know how much you love him and if I let you do whatever you want, which I know you’ll regret eventually -- I’ll feel guilty for not having done anything…which is why I’m stepping in. Since your sense of reason is clouded, I suggest you don’t take any further step until your mind has fully cleared.”
“For a guy like you, that was a lot to say.” Ryo said with a ‘humph‘ as he crossed his arms.
“I know. But if I didn’t say it, you wouldn’t have listened to me.”
“Fine. I’ll take you to Bauhaus so we could talk. The one in Roppongi Crossing, right?”
“Yes, that’s the one.”
As soon as Toma hopped into the car, Ryo drove off. Once they got to their destination, Ryo can’t help but comment, “It‘s quite noisy in here, don‘t you think?”
Bauhaus is located in Roppongi Hills ( a place known for it’s extremely expensive and luxurious condominiums and apartments; it’s a famous area for celebrities since Roppongi Hills houses a lot of Japan’s most famous and the rich. A simple dish could cost about $100 or more). Bauhaus is a bar where Japanese bands play 70’s and 80’s American covers.
“Well, it can’t be helped. We obviously need to talk and Bauhaus is the most decent one I could think of. Just talk loudly so that I’d be able to hear you.”
“Whatever.” Ryo replied nonchalantly.
“So, why did Ueda-kun break up with you anyway?” Toma inquired with enthusiasm.
“How did you know about that?” Ryo asked curiously.
“Koyama told Yamapi and Pi told me. The three of us are all clueless as to why Ueda-kun would break up with you because of Pi.”
“Tatsuya said that I care more about Yamapi more than I care about him so he concluded all by himself that I must love Pi -- which is the most messed up shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”
“There must’ve been something that you’ve done for him to think that way.”
“There is something but I didn’t think that it would result to this. What if he’s just using my shortcomings as an excuse to break up with me? You know what I mean? What if all he really wants is to be with Jin and he knows that I’d never allow that for as long as I’m alive -- so what if he’s purposely putting the blame on me so that he could be with that fuck*ng assh*le?”
“Whoa there Ryo. Jin has been your friend of 10 years, you guys should try to resolve things!”
“F*ck that bullsh*t! I’m never going to be friends with that traitor again! How dare he sleep at my fuck*ng house with my fuck*ng boyfriend!? He disrespected me! So, what friend do you speak of? That fuck*ng traitor is DEAD!”
“Ryo, we’re in public. Keep your outburst on the down-low. We’re idols after all.”
“Like I fuck*ng care?” Ryo sinisterly laughed.
“Anyways, about what you said earlier, I don’t think Ueda-kun would go that far. In any case, I think you’re blowing things out of proportion!”
“I’m not. I merely speak of the possibilities. What’s so wrong about voicing out my thoughts on the matter? I thought that’s what you brought me here for? To talk to me and be a friend to me… instead, you’re more on Tatsuya’s side!”
“I’m not siding with anyone. I’m just saying that your accusations of him are a bit far-fetched.”
“Hah! Don’t even talk about ‘far-fetched’ to me! That bastard accused me of being in love with Yamapi! He told me that I was in denial and that since Yamapi won’t ever accept me, that I loved him instead! What fucking bullshit is that? Tell me! Explain to me how he came to that conclusion!”
“I wonder too why he assumed that. I mean, I’ve always been there with you and Yamapi -- and I never noticed any ‘awkward business’ that was going on.”
“Because to begin with, there wasn’t any, Toma!” Ryo said but as he said this, a thought occurred to him which caused him to smile and slap Toma’s hand in a friendly manner.
“Toma, you son of a b*tch! You’re a genius! I can’t believe I’ve never thought about it before! Damn, I’m so stupid. Anyway, you were always there whenever Pi and I hanged out; hence, you’d be able to testify that there wasn’t anything weird going on between Pi and I. As in, no affair was going on or anything.”
“Won’t Ueda-kun just brush my testimony as bullsh*t reasoning that I’m your friend so I’m merely sticking up for you or something?”
“It’s worth a try because I’d seriously be damned if I didn’t fight for him with everything I’ve got.” Ryo said with sincerity evident on his handsome face.
***
It was already quarter past midnight when Ryo saw a familiar face pass by him so quickly. Ryo dropped everything he was holding in his hand to follow the guy in an instant. He didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Toma.
Ryo saw Jin hop in his car so Ryo did the same thing as quickly as he could manage. He followed Jin’s car slowly at first and then gradually, Ryo sped up to scare Jin. Jin noticed the car behind him who was threateningly close so the more the car sped up, so did Jin. Ryo increased the gas and tried to corner Jin. This scene went on for a good half hour when Jin finally crashed his Mercedez in a lamp post.
What happened was Ryo suddenly stopped his car in front of Jin and Jin had the sudden instinct to turn the wheel to avoid colliding with Ryo’s car, instead Jin crashed into the lamp post to his right side. Due to Jin’s impressive car skills, he was able to manoeuvre the car so that it was only mildly gashed by the lamp post and didn’t directly collide with the lamp post with his front bumper. Hence, Jin only received a few scratches; no bleeding, no nothing really.
But Ryo knew this; Ryo knew of Jin’s skill. They were best friends after all. So, Ryo got out of his car and headed towards Jin. When he reached Jin’s car, he pulled Jin out of the car and punched him once, twice, three times in the head with as much force as he could muster.
Thirty minutes later, when Ryo was finally spent of his energy and when Jin’s face was already bombarded by Ryo’s wrath, both Ryo and Jin fell to the ground.
While breathing heavily, Ryo asked, “Why did you do it? You knew..you knew perfectly well how much I loved him and yet you were the one to betray me?”
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t intentionally fall in love with him. Here you are claiming how much you love him and how I betrayed you.. When I know that you have an idea how much I loved him even before you started falling for him. You knew it and because you’re a selfish bastard who only thinks of yourself, you decided to fall in love with him without any regards to my feelings. Trust me, I felt betrayed by you too but did I ever fuck*ng blame you? Now, tell me.. What right do you think you have to be calling me a ‘traitor’ when you‘re the one to break our friendship first.”
When Ryo didn’t respond, Jin continued, “All these years, I loathed you with a passion. Since you only cared about yourself, I started to only care about myself too. To hell with you. Whatever I knew of Tatsuya ever since we were young, I used it to my advantage over you so that if he ever needed someone, he’d realize that it’s only always me by his side. Because truthfully, you know nothing about him at all. Not a clue whatsoever so you don’t even have the right to take care of him. The title ‘boyfriend’ -- I will strip it away from you and replace you with myself.” Jin said rather slowly as he was in so much pain and yet, he endured with it since he needed to explain to his ex-friend the situation.
“I beg of you to not pursue this any further. I won’t know what I’d do.” Ryo started tearing up and he continued. “Jin, if you do that.. I don’t know what will happen. Trust me when I say that it’ll be the end of you, me and Tatsuya so please don’t do this. If you pursue, I have no choice but to stop you and do everything in my power to keep him for myself. You know me.. I won’t give up unless I have him.”
“Do you think you’re scaring me? I won’t back down. You don’t know what I’m capable of, Nishikido. If I were you, I’d back down now. We both know our limits and how far we can go. We both know that we can destroy each other to the depths of hell. Let’s test our perseverance then, shall we? Whoever wins will get Tatsuya.”
The two men were about to go at it with sharp objects in their right hand, when a fast-speeding car screeched right in front of them.
Out came Ueda Tatsuya who looked very angry and seemed to be more than ready to punch someone.
He had with him a first aid kit and rushed to Jin’s side seeing as his face had more blood than Ryo’s. All Tatsuya did to acknowledge Ryo was sadly shake his head as if a sign of disappointment.
Tatsuya was slowly cleaning up Jin’s facial cuts and bruises, when Jin slowly asked, “How did you find me?”
“Toma called me. He said you might be in trouble and so, I tracked you down through your cellphone gps.”
Ryo was only a few meters away from Tatsuya’s left. Hence, he heard everything perfectly. Out of anger, instead of just laying there.. Ryo mustered all of his strength to be by Tatsuya’s side.
Jin who’s face is being cleaned by Tatsuya, soon fell asleep from being tired and knocked out by Ryo. Truly, Jin isn’t weak but it’s just that Ryo was the better fighter since there were tons of times where he trained with Ueda at the boxing gym.
While Jin was soundly asleep, Ryo grabbed both of Ueda’s arms, put all of his weight on top of Ueda to secure him there and invaded Ueda’s mouth with his own. He forcibly delved his tongue deeper within.
After harshly marking Tatsuya on the neck, Ryo said, “Ueda, it’s your call. If I can’t have you, then, no one can. Not in this lifetime nor the next. It’s either you make me a rapist or a murderer. Because to begin with, I’m hard as f*ck and I’m more than willing to get my hands on that sonovab*tch and pry him open with my pliers.”
“Ryo, don’t say stuff like that. You sound insane.” Tatsuya said, frightened a little.
“Because you make me like this. I can’t think straight and I could go to hell for all I care.. As long as I can be with you.” Ryo’s eyes pleaded with Tatsuya to take him back.
In the corner, Jin started to slowly wake up. Of course, he heard everything. “There’s the love confession you always longed for, Tatsuya, you sadist bastard. Can I go home now since Ryo already confessed that he’s ready to go to hell for you?”
Jin and Tatsuya started to talk away as if Ryo wasn’t there.
“Yes. Would you like me to take you to the hospital and get you taken care of? I should probably pay for your medical fees, right?” Ueda asked.
“No need. These cuts will heal in two weeks. It’s not like I have any photo shoots or public appearances. Just radio stuff. Anyways, your 2 door Lamborghini is mine. Thanks Tat-chan! Clean this up and we’ll talk later.”
Jin merely winked at Ryo, leaving him confused and Jin drove off with Tatsuya’s 2 door Lamborghini. Hence, Tatsuya’s left with Jin’s smashed up Honda.
“What the hell’s going on?” Ryo asked dumbfounded to say the least. Ryo felt a lot of emotions such as confusion, anger, etc. He didn’t know what to do or say further so he just sat there, waiting for Tatsuya’s answer.
“It wasn’t my idea, I swear! It’s all Jin’s idea! He said that we should test how much you love me by doing this, since he found out that nothing really went on with you and Pi. Also, he’s been eyeing my Lamborghini for a while now so he said that if his idea became a success, then it’s only right for me to give up my second love since he needed to give me up. Then, at least, the hurt would be compensated by his second love which happened to be my Lamborghini. But it’s okay since as long as I have my first love, then my second love doesn’t really matter one bit.”
“By second love, are you referring to Jin or the Lamborghini?” Ryo asked seriously, trying to take all of the information in, all at once.
“The Lamborghini, of course.” Ueda smiled at his lover. “Here, let me take a look at your hand. Would you like me to patch you up?”
“Please do. But you still have a lot of explaining to do. We have the whole road to ourselves and I have the whole day so start explaining.”
Ueda knew that Ryo won’t let such a thing go, so he was ready to talk.
“The club thing that Koyama saw, was there truth to it?” Ryo asked.
“None, whatsoever. Koyama’s a good actor. Jin paid him. Koyama agreed because he knew it was for a good cause.”
“How about the bit where Jin’s apparently in love with you?” Ryo asked with curiosity, he didn’t even blink once.
“Sadly, that bit is true. Jin, he did--does love me still. Did I ever tell you that he was my ex? But it didn’t really work out because he hurt me by being overly possessive and obsessive. There wasn’t any air to breathe and I just found myself falling out of love with him. The scar on his chest -- he inflicted it upon himself because he didn’t want to hurt me physically. Instead, he hurt himself. That’s when we both realized what needed to be done. We needed to separate ourselves for a while, in order to be friends again, the least we could salvage from our relationship. That’s when he went to L.A. on his 6 months worth of hiatus.” Ueda said calmly.
When Ryo merely nodded, Ueda continued, “When he came back, he’s different. Not completely though since I still saw the raw hurt and the longing in his eyes. It’s only been a year now, ever since we’ve been separated, so I can’t really expect him to have forgotten all about me since he hasn’t really had anybody else to love. Hence, I understand where he’s coming from so I beg of you to not hold it against him. But because you came to my life while he was away and made me fall deeply in love with you, he backed away saying that he’s learnt a lesson abroad that ’To love also means to let go’. I remember him saying, ’I need to have some self-respect left for myself. Besides, I really love you and because I do which is why I have to let you go. But for the time being, please.. Just let me love you. Even if it’s one-sided. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane right now; the only thing that’s keeping me going.. Is my one-sided love for you’.
Ryo nodded in agreement. He’s going to forgive Jin for giving him a lee-way to be with Tatsuya and at the same time, he tried to put himself in Jin’s shoes and he would’ve most likely done the same thing.
“I love you Tatsuya.” Ryo murmured in endearment. He kissed Tatsuya’s forehead, softly.
Tatsuya chuckled and said, “You better! It cost me my Lamborghini to get a confession from you! You know, we should really thank Jin for his genius idea.”
“I think so too. I’ll need to apologize for almost breaking his face. I’m pretty sure he’d want to get even by breaking mine but I’d let him since it’d definitely be worth it because I’m going to be doing it for you.”
“Come live with me again? Forever? I want to know every single little thing about you because Jin said before that I'm clueless when it came down to it. So, from now on, you have to tell me everything about you. I don't want to be clueless about my own boyfriend anymore.” Ryo asked with cute, puppy eyes.
“Say it only if you mean it.” Ueda said while looking away.
Ryo caressed Tatsuya‘s face softly and turned it to face him, “I mean it. Truly, I do. Screw Yamapi and his problems with Kame. Toma or Jin can help them deal with it but I’m out of their picture. I’ll only always stay by your side no matter what. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. You‘re the most important thing in my life and the best thing that‘s ever happened to me -- I won‘t let anybody, anyone or anything take you away from me. Ever. I promise.”
“I love you too, Ryo.” Ueda Tatsuya said to his lover while they kissed passionately.
This time around, Ryo was the one to learn a lesson the hard way and that was “You never truly know the importance of what you have, until you come close to losing it. Hence, don’t ever take any sort of blessing for granted.”
Indeed, in Ryo’s life, Ueda Tatsuya is a beautiful blessing personified.
-End.
A/N: Actually, I was a bit unsure about the ending since this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. But the thing is, I’d forgotten how I wanted it to end since it’s been a long-time since I brainstormed for it. Originally, I had written this at the end of May but I never got around to actually finishing it and posting it up since I ran out of time as I was due for South Korea during late May. I planned for this to be 5 chapters long since I had all these drama lined up to happen but I forgot my ideas. Hence, there was no reason for me to prolonging it anymore. Anyways, I’m sorry if the ending isn’t what you expected or if it kind of sucked.