To Love You More.
Title: To Love You More.
Chapter: 2 of 3.
Author: lonely_heartz
Fandom: Johnny’s Entertainment (KAT-TUN/NewS)
Pairing: JinDa, RyoDa, KamePi, Koyashige (for this chap).
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Summary: Yamapi & Kame are having problems. Ryo tries to help Yamapi the best that he can but in the process, Ryo sort of neglects Ueda because in his belief, Yamapi needs him more than Ueda does now and instead, Ueda finds comfort in Jin. Jin being who he is, takes advantage of every single opportunity that he gets.
Chapter 1: http://community.livejournal.com/kattunlove/1763819.html#cutid1
The following morning proved to be difficult as Ueda tried to muster up his courage to talk to Ryo.
He was right in the middle of sorting out his thoughts when his boyfriend cornered him, “Hey Ueda, where were you this morning?” Ryo looked at him with concerned eyes as he waited for Ueda to answer.
“I was asleep.” Ueda nervously looked away.
“Oh, is that right? Well then, were exactly where you? I didn’t seem to find you in the house and it’s not like it’s too big for two people.” Ryo’s concern was then replaced by mild anger as he knew that Ueda‘s lying in his face.
“Jin drove me to work early.” Ueda said as he carefully chose what to say next but Ryo knew Ueda’s game so he inquired further and won’t let the matter drop unless he got himself the truth.
After a couple minutes of simply staring at each other, Ryo found the right question and asked, “From OUR home?” Akanishi picked you up from OUR place?”
“No--not really.”
“What do you mean ‘not really’? It’s a simple yes or no question, Ueda. Now, answer me truthfully! Damn it!” Ryo’s anger escalated.
“No, he didn’t.” Ueda looked down with blush creeping into his porcelain cheeks.
“Then from where?!” Ryo yelled as he banged his fist into the wall next to them with a loud thud that caused a visible damage to the wall but Ryo could care less about that right now.
“From his house.” Ueda started to tear up then due to Ryo‘s outburst. “I slept at his house.”
Ryo immediately grabbed a hold of Ueda’s wrist and started to drag him towards KAT-TUN’s dressing room as he yelled, “That fucking bastard! Where the fuck is he?”
“Ryo, you’re hurting me! Don’t do this! Nothing happened! Nothing happened, okay!” Ueda struggles as hard as he can before Ryo goes even more berserk than he already is.
“Explain. Right. Now. Before I kill someone.” Ryo loosened his grip on Ueda’s wrist but not fully letting go either. Ryo looked Ueda straight in the eyes as if to dare him to lie in his face.
“He’s my best friend Ryo, you know that. Isn’t it totally normal for me to sleep in his house once in a while?”
“No, it’s not. It’s fucking not and you know it!” Ryo banged both of his fist on either side of Ueda; merely inches away from Ueda’s own head. Because of the impact it made on Ryo’s hands, red becomes visible from both of his knuckles but Ryo himself doesn’t care of the pain he had inflicted upon himself and instead, he’s more worried about the pain that Ueda’s inflicted in his heart.
“Why are you getting mad at me? You do it too and I never ever said a thing about it!” Ueda getting even more scared of Ryo by the minute.
“You don’t understand! Jin--Jin, he--Jin, he loves you! That fucking bastard fucking loves you okay! It’s different because Yamapi does NOT love me!” Ryo found the nearest thing he could and he sent a chair flying to the wall opposite them.
“And I say it’s not any different because even if Yamapi doesn’t love you… you LOVE him.” More of Ueda’s tears flowed out but he didn’t emit any sound at all and Ryo stopped immediately and simply looked at Ueda with confusion visible in his eyes.
“Ryo, I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of being a replacement. I don’t want to be just that. I don't want to be second to anybody. I tried to get you to love me but I can’t because you’ve always been in love with Yamapi. All you see, all you hear and all you care about is Yamapi.”
The whole time Ryo was shaking his head with Ueda’s accusations.
“That’s not true…” Ryo said in an inaudible whisper which is why Ueda didn’t hear.
“Well, guess what? I’m releasing you now. You can be with Yamapi as much as you want without having to feel guilty about anything. You’re free now…to love him as much as you want because I won’t try to stop you anymore.” Ueda turned his back on Ryo who was left in a kneeling position with a tear stained face.
Even when Ueda was already gone, Ryo stayed in that position as he shook his head and cried even more while he said to no one but himself in a quiet whisper, “That’s not true. You were the only one I have ever loved. The only one. What you said is not true.”
Ryo whispered in denial.
Ueda turned a corner as he sank to his knees and cried as he thought, ‘What the hell just happened? It hurts so much."
***
The next day, Ryo looked for Ueda everywhere since he's so worried because Ueda didn't come home the night before. Since even if they've had an argument, Ueda or Ryo always returns home no matter what. Ryo positively thought that this argument wouldn't be any different but apparently, he's wrong. Very wrong, this time. Ryo assured himself as he waited for Ueda by KAT-TUN's dressing room. He kept on re-assuring himself that Ueda would come back to him, that he'd be able to fix this, that everything would be fine because he'd tell Ueda that he's willing to do anything to prove how much he loves him.
Ryo waited and waited but there was no Ueda to be seen anywhere. Finally, it was Koyama that approached him.
"Ryo-chan, it's no use waiting for Ueda-kun. I don't think he'll be able to make it here today." Koyama said nervously.
"What do you mean by that, Keiichiro?" Ryo eyed him suspiciously.
"I don't think that I'm the right person to tell you." Koyama scratched his head.
"You either spill it or I will choke it out of you, so spill." Ryo warned with slitted eyes since he doesn‘t have any patience whatsoever right now.
"Right then. So, I don't think that he'll want to see you after what happened last night. He'd been drinking. He was drunk out of his mind last night."
"Yeah, he's not the type that's able to hold in his drinks. He's a cheap drunk. So, did he end up vomiting all over the place or something and embarrass himself?"
"To have done that would've been a much wiser decision than what he did last night because you would want to kill him which I know for sure you will."
"Don't tell me that bastard did something more stupid than dump me last night!" Ryo yelled more to himself than to Koyama.
"Oh, he dumped you? From the looks of what happened last night, I was pretty sure that you were the one that dumped him. Anyhow, so Ueda-kun was drunk out of his mind and he started to kiss and grope Akanishi-kun. I wasn't even gonna go to that party but Shige forced me to. Ueda-kun was snogging him senseless!”
"What the fuck!! Where the hell‘s that Bakanishi! I‘ll give him a taste of what it‘s like to be kissing somebody else‘s boyfriend! I didn‘t think that he‘d be stupid enough to cross me. That fucking bastard‘s going to die!" Ryo started flailing his arms around.
“So, is that it then? Can I go now? Shige is waiting for me.” Koyama pleaded.
“Not until you tell me everything and I can tell that it’s not everything by the looks on your face.” Ryo demanded; kicking whatever he could that’s nearby out of his frustration towards his boyfriend.
“Fine, alright. Just calm down.” Koyama said nervously.
“How the fuck can I calm down when my boyfriend is kissing somebody else senseless and god knows what! If Shige were in Ueda’s shoes and Kusano in Jin‘s, you’d be more sympathetic towards me so don’t tell me to calm down!” Ryo yelled.
“Right. I’m sorry.” Koyama said as he did what Ryo had just said. “Akanishi-kun also downed hard liquor and so I don’t think that he’s also in his right mind. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have done what he did.”
“I’m pretty sure that bastard knew what he was doing. Jin’s a party animal. He can take in his hard liquor and the only way that he’s drunk for sure is when he passes out so unless he did, I won’t forgive him.”
“Well, he didn’t pass out since he was even the one to drive Ueda-kun home. At the party, they were kissing and groping each other everywhere. Akanishi-kun placed Ueda-kun on a tabletop and touched his backside and--and he--and he was marking Ueda-kun’s neck, collarbone, etc. After that little stunt, both of them were grinding with each other at the center of the club. Kind of like when they grinded during REAL FACE that always got you worked up…except it’s worse. I mean, they’re not doing it on TV so it was bound to be more dirty, I guess. I overheard their little discussion too. Something about Ueda-kun thanking Akanishi-kun about protecting him and always making him feel secure and something about the countless nights that Akanishi-kun had apparently slept over at your house. Oh right, you wouldn’t find Ueda-kun in your house too because when he was still sober last night, he accidentally told me that ‘some people’ were already moving his stuff from your shared apartment to his old one. So, I’m guessing that he should be at his own apartment right now.” Koyama finished; out of breath.
Ryo looked as if he needed a couple more minutes to let all of the information sink in.
“For all of the information I’ve given you, will you at least give me the benefit of letting me know of the reason why you two even broke up?” Koyama asked earnestly; carefully choosing his words.
“Yamapi.” Ryo said as he broke into a run after all of the information has finally reached him.
Koyama merely stood there; dumbfounded as he looked at Ryo’s fast retreating back.
‘I’m not losing him without a fight. I can’t! I just can’t! Fuck!’ Ryo thought as he makes his way to Ueda’s apartment.
Koyama’s cell phone started to ring and he picked it up.
“Oi Koyama! If you’re not here in 10 minutes, I’ll just get Kusano to watch the movie with me! Did you hear?! I said 10 minutes!” Shige yelled and hanged up.
To get to the movie theatre from the Jimusho in 10 minutes is humanly impossible but for Shige anything is possible or so Koyama thinks. Shige always threatens Koyama with Kusano being the better boyfriend when Koyama makes Shige wait but he doesn’t mean it.
‘Does he?’ Koyama thought. ‘Besides, Shige chose me instead of Kusano, that must mean that I’m better, right? Or that he loves me more? Ahh, to hell with these thoughts! It’s slowing me down! I have to get there in 10 minutes! Damn it!’ He pedalled harder.
-End.
A/N: Would anyone be willing to be my beta reader? That is if you think that I require one or if you think that I don’t need one since it’s bearable to read. Well, let me know what you think. Although, I’d prefer to have one. Anyways, I hope you liked it! ^_^