As if it was not already bad enough....
Thursday, October 18, 2012 was just a normal day at work. I was busy doing my job as Tech Support, went into the demo equipment room to see if we had something in stock there and ran into Tony.
Tony was the companies controller back when the company was a corporation. He was the one that laid me off back in February. He was back as a contractor under the new owner in some specialized form having to do with documentation concerning the bankruptcy of the old company and the buy out of the assets by the new owner. From what I understood, Tony was only back for a week or two. But there he was in the demo room.
He told me he hated to do this to me a second time and I just smiled. I thought he was joking until he said Paige (new owner) had pre-written me a check and Paul (Paige's husband and controller) had signed it. He then escorted me to my desk, I emptied out my personal items and he walked me to the door and I left.
Neither Paige nor Paul were there. I've not been told why I was being laid off, Paige and Paul knew me from previously in the company, Paul was the previous CEO and Paige was a Vice President there before her and Paul got married. They knew the caliber of my work and that's what I was told was the reason for hiring me back. Not to mention, I was the only tech support guy for the company. They have no tech support now that I'm not there.
I feel like I've been betrayed, not being told to my face by people I thought were trustworthy. I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. It's taken me over a week just to wrap my head around this. It' really happening. I told an acquaintance of mine about this and he told me hold on, he thought he had something for me in line of work but I've not heard from him since. I can only imagine it's not panned out since he's not returned my two calls.
Today I attempted to re-open my unemployment but don't think it will do much good. I was one week away from my last unemployment check for the year without extensions. I have $150 left to my name and an electric bill I have to pay tomorrow which will take most of that. Rent is due the first of the month which is days away. I got to have gas, food and cigarettes to live (I can't do without my cigarettes, it's my only vice left and can't give them up). If I DO get unemployment back, I will more than likely have to wait a week before I can get a first check. It won't be enough to cover rent when it's due. If I don't get unemployment, I have nothing and have nothing to tell my landlord. Mark is no help. His stuff is still here and I still have Rascal, the parakeet we owned together (Baby) and Mark texts me tonight that his phone will be off after tonight, probably for a while meaning he has no money.
All that time I carried his sorry ass when he didn't have a job or money. Now he has two jobs and lives with his sister (she's not charging him anything to live with her) and he can't even pay his phone bill? I guess I can figure out where his money's going and he's headed towards a downward spiral so he will be no help at all.
As I look around, it's nothing but a single wide trailer in a trailer park but it's neat, it's clean and it's home. What am I going to do with this stuff if I have to leave it? What am I going to do for a place to sleep if I have to leave? None of my family has money. No one I know can loan me any money. Everyone I know is just like I was, one paycheck away from being homeless.
When Mark left, I figured I could do this. I could live alone, I could get by on my own, it would be hard, it would be lonely at times but I would get by, I would survive, I would get out and make friends. But at that time, I had a job, I had an income. I had somewhere to go to get away from these 4 walls for a while. Now all I got is time. All I can do is sit here and think. This is not a good time to have alot of time to think. I no longer have that job. I no longer have that income. I now have NO income! I don't know if I can handle this much longer. I have been homeless before, but I had Mark then, I thought if Mark and I were together I could handle anything but I can't do it on my own. That was also 12 years ago when I was in my thirties. Alot has happened since then. My hearing is worse, I've developed a heart condition, and I'm 48. With all this worrying, I've developed a rash between my fingers, on my forearm, my face, a small patch on my chest and one other place I don't wanna mention.
I just can't imagine what I've done to piss God off so bad, I've weighed my options and I don't see many ways out. If I've ever needed a miracle, I need one now. The way it looks, only God can get me out of this one... I'm too tired to keep fighting.
Tony was the companies controller back when the company was a corporation. He was the one that laid me off back in February. He was back as a contractor under the new owner in some specialized form having to do with documentation concerning the bankruptcy of the old company and the buy out of the assets by the new owner. From what I understood, Tony was only back for a week or two. But there he was in the demo room.
He told me he hated to do this to me a second time and I just smiled. I thought he was joking until he said Paige (new owner) had pre-written me a check and Paul (Paige's husband and controller) had signed it. He then escorted me to my desk, I emptied out my personal items and he walked me to the door and I left.
Neither Paige nor Paul were there. I've not been told why I was being laid off, Paige and Paul knew me from previously in the company, Paul was the previous CEO and Paige was a Vice President there before her and Paul got married. They knew the caliber of my work and that's what I was told was the reason for hiring me back. Not to mention, I was the only tech support guy for the company. They have no tech support now that I'm not there.
I feel like I've been betrayed, not being told to my face by people I thought were trustworthy. I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. It's taken me over a week just to wrap my head around this. It' really happening. I told an acquaintance of mine about this and he told me hold on, he thought he had something for me in line of work but I've not heard from him since. I can only imagine it's not panned out since he's not returned my two calls.
Today I attempted to re-open my unemployment but don't think it will do much good. I was one week away from my last unemployment check for the year without extensions. I have $150 left to my name and an electric bill I have to pay tomorrow which will take most of that. Rent is due the first of the month which is days away. I got to have gas, food and cigarettes to live (I can't do without my cigarettes, it's my only vice left and can't give them up). If I DO get unemployment back, I will more than likely have to wait a week before I can get a first check. It won't be enough to cover rent when it's due. If I don't get unemployment, I have nothing and have nothing to tell my landlord. Mark is no help. His stuff is still here and I still have Rascal, the parakeet we owned together (Baby) and Mark texts me tonight that his phone will be off after tonight, probably for a while meaning he has no money.
All that time I carried his sorry ass when he didn't have a job or money. Now he has two jobs and lives with his sister (she's not charging him anything to live with her) and he can't even pay his phone bill? I guess I can figure out where his money's going and he's headed towards a downward spiral so he will be no help at all.
As I look around, it's nothing but a single wide trailer in a trailer park but it's neat, it's clean and it's home. What am I going to do with this stuff if I have to leave it? What am I going to do for a place to sleep if I have to leave? None of my family has money. No one I know can loan me any money. Everyone I know is just like I was, one paycheck away from being homeless.
When Mark left, I figured I could do this. I could live alone, I could get by on my own, it would be hard, it would be lonely at times but I would get by, I would survive, I would get out and make friends. But at that time, I had a job, I had an income. I had somewhere to go to get away from these 4 walls for a while. Now all I got is time. All I can do is sit here and think. This is not a good time to have alot of time to think. I no longer have that job. I no longer have that income. I now have NO income! I don't know if I can handle this much longer. I have been homeless before, but I had Mark then, I thought if Mark and I were together I could handle anything but I can't do it on my own. That was also 12 years ago when I was in my thirties. Alot has happened since then. My hearing is worse, I've developed a heart condition, and I'm 48. With all this worrying, I've developed a rash between my fingers, on my forearm, my face, a small patch on my chest and one other place I don't wanna mention.
I just can't imagine what I've done to piss God off so bad, I've weighed my options and I don't see many ways out. If I've ever needed a miracle, I need one now. The way it looks, only God can get me out of this one... I'm too tired to keep fighting.