Reject
Got a rejection from the place I was really really hoping for. It would have been a three year placement, in a beautiful location I'd have been happy to move to, and I'd have had some stability and certainty for a while.
I don't think any of the other places I've applied to so far are going to see anything different in me. I need to go back to study, or do some volunteer work (and not just volunteer work in a cafe), something to make me a better candidate. It's getting kind of obvious that right now, I'm nothing but a mediocre employment option at best.
Starting to consider putting in an application for a tobacco company. Who can afford morals in the middle of a recession? Then again, I'd still be rejected.
Current rejection count: 6
What else?
Still keeping up with running. I don't think I'd have stuck at it this long without J around to prod me. We're running for 5 minutes at a time so far, and we'll be stepping it up till we run for 20 minutes straight at the end of this week. It's gotten to the point that I get my second wind and can keep on going. Did I always have the ability to have get a second wind, but wasn't running long enough to reach it? Or is it because I'm running longer that I've got to develop this so I don't collapse?
Not really running long enough to get the happy buzz I used to get after swimming training. I miss the cheerful brain chemicals! And the heaviness in my limbs that would show I'd worked hard. So it all just feels like a lot of work for not much gain, especially considering I can't see any changes yet. I don't even sweat excessively (the temperature is barely 20C most days - and J still prefers to run in the evenings because it's "too warm"). I'm robbed of all the signs that would make me feel like I was getting somewhere with all of this.
Impatience!
We ran along the canal again today, going further than we have previously (usually we just loop back halfway so we don't have to walk so far). We saw some geese sunning themselves along the river banks, and as we passed both of them flapped their wings out. I pretended they were applauding me. When we were walking back we saw them again, one flapped again and the other actually hissed.
I don't think they were applauding me.
I don't think any of the other places I've applied to so far are going to see anything different in me. I need to go back to study, or do some volunteer work (and not just volunteer work in a cafe), something to make me a better candidate. It's getting kind of obvious that right now, I'm nothing but a mediocre employment option at best.
Starting to consider putting in an application for a tobacco company. Who can afford morals in the middle of a recession? Then again, I'd still be rejected.
Current rejection count: 6
What else?
Still keeping up with running. I don't think I'd have stuck at it this long without J around to prod me. We're running for 5 minutes at a time so far, and we'll be stepping it up till we run for 20 minutes straight at the end of this week. It's gotten to the point that I get my second wind and can keep on going. Did I always have the ability to have get a second wind, but wasn't running long enough to reach it? Or is it because I'm running longer that I've got to develop this so I don't collapse?
Not really running long enough to get the happy buzz I used to get after swimming training. I miss the cheerful brain chemicals! And the heaviness in my limbs that would show I'd worked hard. So it all just feels like a lot of work for not much gain, especially considering I can't see any changes yet. I don't even sweat excessively (the temperature is barely 20C most days - and J still prefers to run in the evenings because it's "too warm"). I'm robbed of all the signs that would make me feel like I was getting somewhere with all of this.
Impatience!
We ran along the canal again today, going further than we have previously (usually we just loop back halfway so we don't have to walk so far). We saw some geese sunning themselves along the river banks, and as we passed both of them flapped their wings out. I pretended they were applauding me. When we were walking back we saw them again, one flapped again and the other actually hissed.
I don't think they were applauding me.