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Man I am getting really sick of this…Lauren wanted Rob and I to hang out with her and Rhi…well that is something I really didn’t want to do cause I am going to take this guys advice and stop talking to her…it seems the only way….i figured out I could use the pain of losing the one girl I ever loved and turn it into anger then I could harness that anger and use it when I work out that way I get in better shape quicker. But it still hurts… I love her so much...and I don think I will ever stop loving her. People say I am too young to be in love…well then what it the right age…someone tell me what is the “legal” age to be in love is it 21 or 18…. Can a child love a pet? Can a child love a parent? Can a child weep because he/she lost that parent or pet? Because we fall in love mean we are human, not necessarily. I baby-sit a black Labrador for these people when they go to race, because the husband works on a race team. So I baby-sit Dallara (the dog) now Dallara’s previous master died in a motorcycle accident, you could tell she was depressed, and she was only still a young puppy. When I moved here it was my duty to watch her during a race, which would last from 5-20 days. That dog loves me to death, and I love that dog. Now to say me a healthy 16-year-old boy can’t love this girl is bullshit. I believe that any one could love any one, I don’t think god, had anything to do with it. For you homophobes out there, I think a man could love a man and women could love women it is called free will the only real freedom we have. I love Lauren, but I can’t tell her. People say that I will find other loves, but I don’t want another love I want Lauren, and Lauren doesn’t want another love. This is were we differ, yet are the same. You see Lauren doesn’t want to love another man because she was hurt too many times…I don’t want anther love because I want Lauren, but I cant have her… this brings tears to my eyes I cant have her… I have to get it through that I cant have her… and thus is were the anger settles in, I guess the only option is to get so tied up in the anger that I just have to end up hating her. Whether it is the right choice or not… at least the pain will go away…because I know how to harness anger to my own liking. Well I am going to go, try to hate Lauren… but I don’t want to…
Matthew
Matthew