(no subject)
Hidy-ho neighbors. First, I'd like to say thank you thank you thank you to all of you that have wished me a happy birthday! I have never gotten so many well wishes before and every single message, email, and card made me so so happy!!
Anyways, I have had a good few days since I updated. Nothing much has happened that I can remember. Just been runnin' and workin'. I'm glad to be twenty, I guess. It's not much different, but Zak did point out that it is only ten years away from thirty....ahhhhh. I have sort of been having a mid-life crisis at twenty...just thinking about all of the conflicting emotions I have been having lately. I love being home, but also love school. I'm two years away from a career that I hope I'm ready for and decisions that I hope I will be ready to make. I want to get away and see the world, but also settle into a home locally. I'm still struggling to grow up I guess. Plus, I also keep having mean thoughts about people in my head...not crazy thoughts, just selfish. I expect too much from people sometimes and my kids at work which leads me to resent people. I used to not think that way.
I have just been thinking way too much also about life and death, but not in a morbid way. I have also had so so many weird dreams this summer. And my dreams really affect me. Just for a preview, I have had dreams that: Melissa was pregnant, I ate some teddy bears, I was pregnant and in the middle of an Iraqi invasion in the U.S. and I was held up at a shoe store, Zak was in the hospital, my Nanny was alive again, I got attacked running, there was an infection outbreak at IHOP during a thunderstorm....the list goes on and on. I need to really write these down. I am a freak, I wish I was psychic. I just have such a vivid imagination or dream world. I haven't dreamed as much lately, but my mind needs a break. Phew...
Well, back to the real world...my birthday was great! Just dinner with my family and greetings from my pals. I went to a free concert with Zak on Saturday. I love Dishwater Blonde...everyone has got to check them out! Go on their website and listen...I would love to get them to perform at MC. Anyways, work has been good and still chaotic. Our boss wasn't there for a few days so our kids got kind of wild. I mean, as a kid I never had the guts to deliberately disobey a teacher like these kids do! But, I guess I haven't been through as much as most of these kids. The most eventful thing that has happened was when I made rice krispie treats and lemonade with my groups. It went well until I got a million phone calls and people kept coming in needing stuff from me(my classroom area is out front where we should have a secretary). It was crazy esp. when the bus driver came in needing a key that I couldn't find and our rice krispy mixture was hardening and I was fumbling through papers with gooey hands...it was quite funny actually. I'm just not good at multi-tasking...I get frantic, but I'm getting better. Stress can sometimes be a natural high.
Today was good at the pool, except I got fried again. The kids were cute though and we had fun. I was tired because I ran around 5pm, hot hot hot...then went to a church meeting. Now I'm chillin'. As for the rest of the week, I just have two more days of work and then I am going to see fireworks in Maryville and go to Emily's farm for a party then leave for a mission trip for a whole week plus I need to run run run. Wow, I love repeating words tonight...by the way, I love love love you all! I also love writing in my live journal...it gives me peace.
Anyways, I have had a good few days since I updated. Nothing much has happened that I can remember. Just been runnin' and workin'. I'm glad to be twenty, I guess. It's not much different, but Zak did point out that it is only ten years away from thirty....ahhhhh. I have sort of been having a mid-life crisis at twenty...just thinking about all of the conflicting emotions I have been having lately. I love being home, but also love school. I'm two years away from a career that I hope I'm ready for and decisions that I hope I will be ready to make. I want to get away and see the world, but also settle into a home locally. I'm still struggling to grow up I guess. Plus, I also keep having mean thoughts about people in my head...not crazy thoughts, just selfish. I expect too much from people sometimes and my kids at work which leads me to resent people. I used to not think that way.
I have just been thinking way too much also about life and death, but not in a morbid way. I have also had so so many weird dreams this summer. And my dreams really affect me. Just for a preview, I have had dreams that: Melissa was pregnant, I ate some teddy bears, I was pregnant and in the middle of an Iraqi invasion in the U.S. and I was held up at a shoe store, Zak was in the hospital, my Nanny was alive again, I got attacked running, there was an infection outbreak at IHOP during a thunderstorm....the list goes on and on. I need to really write these down. I am a freak, I wish I was psychic. I just have such a vivid imagination or dream world. I haven't dreamed as much lately, but my mind needs a break. Phew...
Well, back to the real world...my birthday was great! Just dinner with my family and greetings from my pals. I went to a free concert with Zak on Saturday. I love Dishwater Blonde...everyone has got to check them out! Go on their website and listen...I would love to get them to perform at MC. Anyways, work has been good and still chaotic. Our boss wasn't there for a few days so our kids got kind of wild. I mean, as a kid I never had the guts to deliberately disobey a teacher like these kids do! But, I guess I haven't been through as much as most of these kids. The most eventful thing that has happened was when I made rice krispie treats and lemonade with my groups. It went well until I got a million phone calls and people kept coming in needing stuff from me(my classroom area is out front where we should have a secretary). It was crazy esp. when the bus driver came in needing a key that I couldn't find and our rice krispy mixture was hardening and I was fumbling through papers with gooey hands...it was quite funny actually. I'm just not good at multi-tasking...I get frantic, but I'm getting better. Stress can sometimes be a natural high.
Today was good at the pool, except I got fried again. The kids were cute though and we had fun. I was tired because I ran around 5pm, hot hot hot...then went to a church meeting. Now I'm chillin'. As for the rest of the week, I just have two more days of work and then I am going to see fireworks in Maryville and go to Emily's farm for a party then leave for a mission trip for a whole week plus I need to run run run. Wow, I love repeating words tonight...by the way, I love love love you all! I also love writing in my live journal...it gives me peace.