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tonight was the wake for shannon. it was really sad. i went with lauren. i felt weird about going because i wasn't best friends with shannon, but i am glad i went. i got there and looked at the photoes. i signed the guest book. then i went into the room and saw her in the casket from far away and began to cry. lauren and i had already decided not to go up through the line if it was an open casket; she can't since her uncle chris died and i didn't want to go alone.
from far away though, we could see her perfectly. and she looked perfect. she looked like at any moment her eyes would blink open. i sat there and froze, just staring at her. it's so hard to accept death when you can sit there and see the person. when my grampy died, he was dead to me because he didn't have his usual big smile on his face. but shannon looked...peaceful. i hope she is.
we saw a bunch of the nk crowd....very awkward to see people you haven't seen in two years at a wake. i saw her boyfriend eric in the line. he looked so strong, he wasn't crying. i cried because of how strong he was. even when older people were going through the line and pretty much collapsing in tears on his shoulder, he still kept his face fixed in a smile. once or twice i did see him dry his eyes, and i was afraid that if he began to cry, i would begin to cry and everyone would lose it. i sort of felt like he was holding it up for everyone.
and her mother. she was being so strong too. it was so so sad to see these grown men and women come into the line and just fall apart by the end.
there was this one man who came in with his wife. when they turned the corner in the line, they could see shannon in the casket. and the man just began to cry openly, as many others were, but for some reason as i watched him cry, i began to cry for him. no one should be put through this pain of watching someone only 20 years old die.
as lauren said, we are far too young to be losing our classmates and friends already. rest in peace shannon.
from far away though, we could see her perfectly. and she looked perfect. she looked like at any moment her eyes would blink open. i sat there and froze, just staring at her. it's so hard to accept death when you can sit there and see the person. when my grampy died, he was dead to me because he didn't have his usual big smile on his face. but shannon looked...peaceful. i hope she is.
we saw a bunch of the nk crowd....very awkward to see people you haven't seen in two years at a wake. i saw her boyfriend eric in the line. he looked so strong, he wasn't crying. i cried because of how strong he was. even when older people were going through the line and pretty much collapsing in tears on his shoulder, he still kept his face fixed in a smile. once or twice i did see him dry his eyes, and i was afraid that if he began to cry, i would begin to cry and everyone would lose it. i sort of felt like he was holding it up for everyone.
and her mother. she was being so strong too. it was so so sad to see these grown men and women come into the line and just fall apart by the end.
there was this one man who came in with his wife. when they turned the corner in the line, they could see shannon in the casket. and the man just began to cry openly, as many others were, but for some reason as i watched him cry, i began to cry for him. no one should be put through this pain of watching someone only 20 years old die.
as lauren said, we are far too young to be losing our classmates and friends already. rest in peace shannon.