the one time i sleep through a test...
i'm mad at myself. i slept through my praxis test this morning because my alarm clock never went off. i don't know why not, i set it and then i set the second one just in case i set the wrong one...but neither went off. damn stupid alarm clock. now i have to wait and take it again in august, it's not that bad, but i just hope it doesn't screw me over when i go back to school.
i have been working a lot. i like working better than babysitting even if i do come home more tired some nights. it's fun to get away from the neighborhood and help people. it makes me happy when i can do a return all by myself with no assistance. and seriously, i think i am making just as much money working as i do babysitting, even with the taxes taken out of my paycheck.
i had a thyroid scan thursday because my mom's friend told me i should get my thyroid checked out. she said it loked enlarged. she's a pediatrician, and i never paid much attention to my thyroid, so i wasn't going to say no. the test was actually pretty cool because it was an ultrasound on my neck. it was not very scary and i actually wanted to fall asleep many times laying down and doing nothing in the nice cool dark room. but the coolest part was watching up on the screen all the bones and muscle tissue, and seeing all the tiny things i have felt there before and now know what they look like. it made me want to have a baby. like, for three seconds. then i just thought about zachary and remembered i do not want to have kids, maybe never. maybe someday, i don't know, but definitely not right now.
i have been thinking a lot about what i'm going to do with my life recently. i'm not exactly rethinking becoming a teacher, just really deciding that it's the right choice for me. the thing is, i've always been good with kids, and i love kids (so long as i don't have to take care of them 24/7). i've never been talented at one specific thing either. everyone has a talent, i guess if i have a talent at all it's being able to relate with children. that's not really a great talent when you think about it. in a way, it's like saying i'm immature and will always be able to understand and relate things on a 5-year-old level.
phil and i hung out the other night...along with manda and pat. which is fun, i like hanging out with other people too..i just miss spending time with just him. i really hope i am giving him enough space and time and such so he can figure his life out. i am trying really hard not to bother him with our relationship, i just wish i knew more about what's going on. but i'd rather wait than do anything else. that's just how i feel. i am not looking for anyone else, no one else is looking for me. so i'll wait. because i love him and because i really want things to work out. because i don't feel like i'm really waiting, just sort of in a transition period. like, moving to the next step (hopefully) with him. okay, that sounded like i'm planning on getting married next or something, which isn't what i meant. i just meant, everytime we break up, and get back together, it's a new period, because new things happen and things are always slightly different than the previous time. so, i'm just waiting and hoping it'll happen again.
okay now i'm really just blabbing so i'll stop.
i have been working a lot. i like working better than babysitting even if i do come home more tired some nights. it's fun to get away from the neighborhood and help people. it makes me happy when i can do a return all by myself with no assistance. and seriously, i think i am making just as much money working as i do babysitting, even with the taxes taken out of my paycheck.
i had a thyroid scan thursday because my mom's friend told me i should get my thyroid checked out. she said it loked enlarged. she's a pediatrician, and i never paid much attention to my thyroid, so i wasn't going to say no. the test was actually pretty cool because it was an ultrasound on my neck. it was not very scary and i actually wanted to fall asleep many times laying down and doing nothing in the nice cool dark room. but the coolest part was watching up on the screen all the bones and muscle tissue, and seeing all the tiny things i have felt there before and now know what they look like. it made me want to have a baby. like, for three seconds. then i just thought about zachary and remembered i do not want to have kids, maybe never. maybe someday, i don't know, but definitely not right now.
i have been thinking a lot about what i'm going to do with my life recently. i'm not exactly rethinking becoming a teacher, just really deciding that it's the right choice for me. the thing is, i've always been good with kids, and i love kids (so long as i don't have to take care of them 24/7). i've never been talented at one specific thing either. everyone has a talent, i guess if i have a talent at all it's being able to relate with children. that's not really a great talent when you think about it. in a way, it's like saying i'm immature and will always be able to understand and relate things on a 5-year-old level.
phil and i hung out the other night...along with manda and pat. which is fun, i like hanging out with other people too..i just miss spending time with just him. i really hope i am giving him enough space and time and such so he can figure his life out. i am trying really hard not to bother him with our relationship, i just wish i knew more about what's going on. but i'd rather wait than do anything else. that's just how i feel. i am not looking for anyone else, no one else is looking for me. so i'll wait. because i love him and because i really want things to work out. because i don't feel like i'm really waiting, just sort of in a transition period. like, moving to the next step (hopefully) with him. okay, that sounded like i'm planning on getting married next or something, which isn't what i meant. i just meant, everytime we break up, and get back together, it's a new period, because new things happen and things are always slightly different than the previous time. so, i'm just waiting and hoping it'll happen again.
okay now i'm really just blabbing so i'll stop.