Yours faithfully
Dear British Museum,
Our residents' association is planning to put on a pantomime inspired by a Greek myth.
As your excellent establishment is chock-a-block with antique artefacts, we were wondering whether we could borrow a few items for the production.
You'd do us a favour (we have no budget for scenery/props) and we'd do you a favour too, giving some dusty old stones a good airing. As you can see, it's a win-win situation.
The Elgin Marbles would be ideal as they haven't gone on a jolly in a very long time.
I know that it is not like travelling overseas, back to Greece, but some people swear that you need a passport to cross the Thames.
Plus we have an excellent Turkish shop and restaurant nearby and they would almost feel at home since the two cuisines are remarkably similar.
If not possible, then perhaps a couple of urns with painted scenes?
Mind you, nothing too racy please, because some old biddies may choke on their Victoria Sponge and ruin the performance for everyone else, while some other members of the audience might get a bit too frisky encouraged by the dim lighting.
I suppose Roman artifacts may do as well. I am not fussy. Not to mention that in Penge not many can tell the difference.
I'm going to Italy soon but as we'll be travelling with Ryanair, it would be an extortion to carry something suitable back in my suitcase, unless of course I buy an extra ticket and try to pass off a statue of Jupiter as my bearded uncle Bartolomeo in plaster from head to toe.
Many thanks in advance for your help.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Our residents' association is planning to put on a pantomime inspired by a Greek myth.
As your excellent establishment is chock-a-block with antique artefacts, we were wondering whether we could borrow a few items for the production.
You'd do us a favour (we have no budget for scenery/props) and we'd do you a favour too, giving some dusty old stones a good airing. As you can see, it's a win-win situation.
The Elgin Marbles would be ideal as they haven't gone on a jolly in a very long time.
I know that it is not like travelling overseas, back to Greece, but some people swear that you need a passport to cross the Thames.
Plus we have an excellent Turkish shop and restaurant nearby and they would almost feel at home since the two cuisines are remarkably similar.
If not possible, then perhaps a couple of urns with painted scenes?
Mind you, nothing too racy please, because some old biddies may choke on their Victoria Sponge and ruin the performance for everyone else, while some other members of the audience might get a bit too frisky encouraged by the dim lighting.
I suppose Roman artifacts may do as well. I am not fussy. Not to mention that in Penge not many can tell the difference.
I'm going to Italy soon but as we'll be travelling with Ryanair, it would be an extortion to carry something suitable back in my suitcase, unless of course I buy an extra ticket and try to pass off a statue of Jupiter as my bearded uncle Bartolomeo in plaster from head to toe.
Many thanks in advance for your help.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.