Snowboarding and remembering past
Movies usually make me go into some sort of nostalgic thoughtful mood. I just watched Chalet Girl, about a girl who learns snowboarding. And it reminded me how much I love snowboarding! And I really do. I might not have experienced that much different types of snowboarding. And I'm not really that awesome at it. I'm actually pretty average, but I love it. I started browsing my pictures from the past. And then it got all nostalgic. The people I used to know and hang out with for some short periods of time. A guy that I think I liked, but being the awkward weird me, I didn't know what to do. Some people who later turned out to be assholes, voluntarily or indirectly. And all the drama when I didn't go to the competition even though the coach told me I was chosen, because someone stole my place and I spent a night crying. I should get over it, but it still hurts, it's good to remember people can be treacherous cunts, I guess. So many memories from my winter camps. I never really had a snowboarding buddy, and I hanged out with random people in the group or alone, which was much less awkward. Once, though, I snowboarded in a group of 3, it was amazing! I want to have people to fool around with. And I also wanna learn more, and pass the knowledge and love. I really want to become a snowboarding instructor, if I ever got a chance. I love it so so so much. It's just really hard to put in words.
And then I started browsing through my old pictured on facebook, that I also used to play guitar, and apparently better than I remembered. My family have always been supportive of my interests, for which I'm really thankful. I wish I had time and money to continue with everything. I'm still not working, so technically I have time, but now I have a new interest - video games. And while it's not as constructive as playing an instrument I really like it to, so there goes time. And snowboarding is obviously case of money, because going somewhere costs, especially now that I study and live abroad. I chose to go abroad, I love it here, but surely my resources and options are limited. No more occasional beer at a pub with a friend, no snowboarding, no more going to movies or shopping to a shopping mall, no more concerts also. Thinking about it like that gets depressing.
On the other hand I started jogging last week, so I'm trying to do some slight change to my sitting-at-home lifestyle. I never had that many friend here, and those I hanged out with left. I'm not bored though, I have quite a lot of things to do. I'm pretty happy with my life. But looking through all those pictures reminded me of the fun days and times, like that one time when we went longboarding with a friend, and some cars (most likely) honked on us (even though we were on the bike lane), I like to think because we were looking cool, 2 girls on longboards. And that's also what I got thanks to coming to Sweden - longboarding. I like it a lot, I wish I had the courage for something more than just riding in a straight-ish line.
Thing is, I do feel I'm getting old, kinda. Gotta think about future more for real now. And honestly, 5 years ago I had much clearer vision of what I wanna do than I do now. I guess my life was much more overall constructive then too, ironically. I'm hoping that now, studying design, finally will put me on the right path, when I get to do what I like, or love. I'm pretty confused. But recently, I'm all about this "I'm still young, I like my life, and I'm gonna do whatever I want with it", duh, gonna be 24 this year, it's annoying. I wanna stay 21 forever. I wanna have fun and experience thing I haven't in the past. I wanna be stupid with more people, I guess. Bwaaaaah >_>
I also miss writing a blog. I do have my blog about Sweden, but it feels like my mom is the only person who reads it, and it's just awkward, and then she answers to everything on Skype. Same with the twitter account I created since I don't have time/motivation for blogging there. I want my anonymous internet again, I guess. My mom's constant looking for news from me bothers me, A LOT. Sometimes I just wish things were like in the past. I also wish I had more contact with my friends, and dunno, just infinite amount of time, to do whatever i want, without getting older. There's so many things I wanna do, and that I would be capable of doing if I had either time or money, or both.
And then I started browsing through my old pictured on facebook, that I also used to play guitar, and apparently better than I remembered. My family have always been supportive of my interests, for which I'm really thankful. I wish I had time and money to continue with everything. I'm still not working, so technically I have time, but now I have a new interest - video games. And while it's not as constructive as playing an instrument I really like it to, so there goes time. And snowboarding is obviously case of money, because going somewhere costs, especially now that I study and live abroad. I chose to go abroad, I love it here, but surely my resources and options are limited. No more occasional beer at a pub with a friend, no snowboarding, no more going to movies or shopping to a shopping mall, no more concerts also. Thinking about it like that gets depressing.
On the other hand I started jogging last week, so I'm trying to do some slight change to my sitting-at-home lifestyle. I never had that many friend here, and those I hanged out with left. I'm not bored though, I have quite a lot of things to do. I'm pretty happy with my life. But looking through all those pictures reminded me of the fun days and times, like that one time when we went longboarding with a friend, and some cars (most likely) honked on us (even though we were on the bike lane), I like to think because we were looking cool, 2 girls on longboards. And that's also what I got thanks to coming to Sweden - longboarding. I like it a lot, I wish I had the courage for something more than just riding in a straight-ish line.
Thing is, I do feel I'm getting old, kinda. Gotta think about future more for real now. And honestly, 5 years ago I had much clearer vision of what I wanna do than I do now. I guess my life was much more overall constructive then too, ironically. I'm hoping that now, studying design, finally will put me on the right path, when I get to do what I like, or love. I'm pretty confused. But recently, I'm all about this "I'm still young, I like my life, and I'm gonna do whatever I want with it", duh, gonna be 24 this year, it's annoying. I wanna stay 21 forever. I wanna have fun and experience thing I haven't in the past. I wanna be stupid with more people, I guess. Bwaaaaah >_>
I also miss writing a blog. I do have my blog about Sweden, but it feels like my mom is the only person who reads it, and it's just awkward, and then she answers to everything on Skype. Same with the twitter account I created since I don't have time/motivation for blogging there. I want my anonymous internet again, I guess. My mom's constant looking for news from me bothers me, A LOT. Sometimes I just wish things were like in the past. I also wish I had more contact with my friends, and dunno, just infinite amount of time, to do whatever i want, without getting older. There's so many things I wanna do, and that I would be capable of doing if I had either time or money, or both.