A Dose of Spiced Earl Grey Tea~
WHO: A Savior (Emi) and a Damsel in Distress (Arthur)
WHEN: The Prime Shopping Hours of the Morn'
WHERE: The Family Jewels Department Store
WHAT: The one in which Arthur learns the hard way that Christmas Shopping is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. And Emi prevents Aisle 27 from becoming a crime scene.
. . .
...Taking one last look at his sorry appearance in the mirror, Arthur sighed and hung his head a little. Really, to receive such a wound from a (crazed) mother who had thought he was after an red, fuzzy, electronic humanoid--
Well. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was that he was supposedly after. All that he remembered was that he decided to take a shortcut through a seemingly empty aisle on his way to the kitchenware section. Before he knew it, he was flat on his back clutching his eye as a woman loomed over him - a child in one hand and an alarmingly large purse (dear God, did she have more children stashed in there!?) in the other - all the while shouting triumphant obscenities at him.
How he got out of there and back home with all his limbs intact was a mystery to even him. But surely he would have nightmares about that purse tonight...
. . .
Said mystery, in actuality, wasn't all that elusive - though it must have seemed so to the utterly bewildered Englishman. There's a very simple explanation as to how Arthur wasn't curb-stomped to death for the sake of a Tickle-Me-Elmo by what was essentially a soccer mom with a purse that could have doubled for a body bag.
It was all thanks to a certain bystander that Arthur had once met at a club dedicated to loathing a particular slimeball frog...
WHEN: The Prime Shopping Hours of the Morn'
WHERE: The Family Jewels Department Store
WHAT: The one in which Arthur learns the hard way that Christmas Shopping is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. And Emi prevents Aisle 27 from becoming a crime scene.
. . .
...Taking one last look at his sorry appearance in the mirror, Arthur sighed and hung his head a little. Really, to receive such a wound from a (crazed) mother who had thought he was after an red, fuzzy, electronic humanoid--
Well. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was that he was supposedly after. All that he remembered was that he decided to take a shortcut through a seemingly empty aisle on his way to the kitchenware section. Before he knew it, he was flat on his back clutching his eye as a woman loomed over him - a child in one hand and an alarmingly large purse (dear God, did she have more children stashed in there!?) in the other - all the while shouting triumphant obscenities at him.
How he got out of there and back home with all his limbs intact was a mystery to even him. But surely he would have nightmares about that purse tonight...
. . .
Said mystery, in actuality, wasn't all that elusive - though it must have seemed so to the utterly bewildered Englishman. There's a very simple explanation as to how Arthur wasn't curb-stomped to death for the sake of a Tickle-Me-Elmo by what was essentially a soccer mom with a purse that could have doubled for a body bag.
It was all thanks to a certain bystander that Arthur had once met at a club dedicated to loathing a particular slimeball frog...