I LOVE YOU BUT NEVER IN THAT WAY.

[notaustralian]

Wer: Ludwig und Roderich.
Wenn: August 3rd, Tuesday morning.
Wo: Liberty Counseling Office.
Was: Therapy gone wrong. Terribly wrong.

Comments

[mein_einsamkeit]

Ludwig couldn't even bring himself to look at Roderich's (their?) therapist; instead his eyes were currently cast downward as if his lap was incredibly fascinating, hands neatly folded on top. His fingers were locked together so tightly they were beginning to go numb.

Worst of all, they were both so shocked that they were glued to that damn sofa.

He had only agreed to accompany his friend for moral support, hoping to put their interesting phone conversation behind them. It had been awkward seeing the Austrian again, but their lips had been sealed on the subject....

Now it was just downright uncomfortable.

He cleared his throat and finally lifted his head, staring to the left of the doctor's ear. "We're just friends," he corrected politely.

OBVIOUSLY, IDEFK WHAT I AM SAYIN' HERE.

[notaustralian]

"Now Ludwig," the smiling therapist said with a shake of her head, "you shouldn't encourage Roderich's negative behaviors. Now I know you don't mean it when you say you are just friends. Please, then, go ahead and tell Roderich how you really feel about him

THAT'S NOT NEW.

[mein_einsamkeit]

Their eyes seemed to bore holes into him. Without looking he could physically feel the two staring at him. Staring and waiting. The fierce anticipation in the room made his stomach flutter. Another throat clearing and his gaze dared to edge closer to almost meeting the therapist's. That smile couldn't be real. He'd once heard that you could only hold a smile for so long; after that it was just teeth. This... Doctor Kim Keiser. She was all teeth and it was unsettling him just as much as being confronted like this was.

"Well, no, I suppose I don't mean it," he began quietly, nodding in agreement. "You see, Roderich is my... best friend." His lungs felt hot and tight, the air ballooning in them and refusing to escape, like he couldn't get another breath. He didn't even know why he was still talking or why he hadn't simply gotten up and left: this was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

Ludwig glanced down, staring at Roderich's knee rather than his face. "Even when I haven't treated him as such. I think he knows that."

WHY YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS?

[notaustralian]

Roderich's throat scorched as Ludwig's words sank in. He brought his eyes down to his own knees and stared at the ever-increasingly interesting seams on his black trousers. He knuckled his fists, teeth grinding the inside of his mouth

[mein_einsamkeit]

"Said something?" Ludwig echoed. "Such as?"

Dr. Keiser put a finger to her lips. "Please, let me ask the questions, Ludwig. This is a safe space, and your tone-" Her gums must have been numb by now. "-is one that might be described as 'interrogating.'"

Ludwig's face fell. "Allow me to rephrase. Erm... what... instance were you referring to, Roderich?"

[notaustralian]

Roderich dropped the subject immediately. He pulled his glance away from Ludwig’s direction and studied the duplicate copy of Van Gogh on the wall. Dr. Keiser was watching his every movement like a Big Brother monitor. He felt a sudden urge to cover his face and kept turning away from Ludwig.

“It’s… ah, nothing,” he said at last. “It’s a matter of no consequence.”

The doctor only widened her smile in displease. She shook her head, alternating her eyes between Ludwig and Roderich. She clicked her pen, uncrossed her legs, and lingered on a thought for a moment.

“When was the last time you two kissed?” she asked like she was asking if the sky was blue. “Or made love?”

Roderich’s heart stopped beating.