Ryoda - Do you hate me? Chapter 1
Title: Do you hate me? Chapter 1
Pairings: Ryoda, slight MaruDa and JinDa
Characters: Ryo, Ueda, KAT-TUN, Uchi
Summary: Ryo hated Ueda for what he thought Ueda did before. Ueda loved Ryo, but was hurt countless times by Ryo. The thing is, Ryo didn't hate Ueda as much as he thought he would be.
It was obvious that Ueda Tatsuya and Nishikido Ryo didn’t get along with each other. Nishikido Ryo hated Ueda. He hated how Ueda tries too hard to be cool, to be someone else. He hated how Ueda dresses and hated how he acts, but the thing is, he finds it amusing when he insults Ueda. He finds Ueda’s reaction amusing after he had insulted the older boy.
On the other hand, Ueda didn’t hate Nishikido Ryo. Ueda and Ryo used to be friends. When they were young, Ueda and Ryo used to be good friends. The unfortunate thing happened, and changed their whole relationship. Ueda had developed feelings towards Ryo. He loved Ryo. Once he finally accepted that he loved Ryo, he was scared. He was scared that Ryo would reject him, distances him, and thinks Ueda is a freak. Not long after Ueda found out his feelings towards Ryo, they got in a fight and never spoke to each other again until they met each other in JE entertainment.
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9 years ago, when Ryo was 14 and Ueda was almost 15…
Ryo got a girlfriend. Ryo would talk about his girlfriend everyday to Ueda, and Ueda would swallow his pain and listen to Ryo patiently. His heart would be throbbed with pain and drips blood every time Ryo talked about his girlfriend. One day, when Ueda couldn’t take it anymore, he went to see Ryo’s girlfriend.
“Hi…” Ueda went to Ryo’s girlfriend. “Hey, Ueda kun!” Ryo’s girlfriend, Tatsuko smiled and waved at Ueda. “Long time no see!” Tatsuko added another greeting with a grin. Ueda nodded in return. They were at a coffee shop near by Ueda and Ryo’s house. They both word out their orders to the waitress, and waited in silence. Minutes passed by in silence, and Tatsuko finally broke it. “So…what did you want to talk about?” tatsuko asked. “Um…” Ueda thought that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. “I wanted to be friends with you…You know…Since you’re Ryo’s girlfriend and I’m his friend and all…” Ueda blushed crimson after what he said. Tatsuko smiled at walked over and sat beside Ueda. Before Ueda could say anything, the waitress came by and delivered their order. Ueda immediately wrapped his fingers around the straw of his cappuccino, and drank it without looking at Tatsuko. Tatsuko smiled at how cute Ueda was acting, and decided to reach her hand over to touch Ueda’s flawless cheeks. The coldness of Tatsuko’s hands shocked Ueda into looking at her, speechless. “You’re so cute!” Tatsuko said bluntly, and leaned forward to kiss Ueda.
On the other hand…
Ryo came by the coffee shop to meet up with Tatsuko, and found that Ueda was with his girlfriend. He was going to call out both of their names and then join them, but what he just saw had stopped all his actions. He saw his girlfriend kissing his own best friend! He was stunned speechless. He then backed up a few steps, and ran out the coffee shop door.
Back to Tatsuko’s side…
Ueda pushed Tatsuko back before their lips met. He didn’t want Tatsuko to betray Ryo. He didn’t want Ryo to be hurt. Most importantly, he didn’t want to be kiss by anyone but Ryo, even though that may never happen. “What did you do that for?” Ueda retorted at Tatsuko. “Nothing…” Tatsuko lit up a smirk as she saw Ryo ran away. “I just thought you were cute, that’s all.” Tatsuko took a sip from her coffee. “And I needed an excuse to break up with Ryo. I got tired of him.” Tatsuko took another sip from her coffee. Ueda was speechless. His face was pale white, and his brown eyes are widened. “Oh, and I told Ryo chan to come here too. He saw me and you kissing…Well…at his angle, he thought we were kissing.” Tatsuko smirked before finishing her coffee. “Okay then, see you around pretty boy.” Tatsuko left the coffee shop, and tears swelled up in Ueda’s eyes.
The thought of being betrayed by his girlfriend and best friend was too much for Ryo. The thought of his best friend stealing his girlfriend was too harsh for Ryo. He hated Ueda for doing that. He hated Ueda for betraying his trust. Most of all… he was hurt.
The next day, Ryo went up to Ueda and punched him in the face, leaving blood marks on Ueda’s lips. Ryo had declared that their friendship was over, and he hated Ueda. After Ueda heard “I hate you!”, he was frozen. His face went pale as snow, and just stood there, taking in all Ryo’s shouting. Ever since that incident, the two have never spoke to each other, and living like that had killed Ueda. The man he loved hated him. Ueda’s heart was ripped apart and stomped on by Ryo Nishikido, the man he loved. Ryo never saw Ueda after until they met each other again in Johnny’s entertainment. Although Ryo had never seen Ueda after, Ueda would sneak behind bushes and buildings to see Ryo. Ueda couldn’t possibly stand not seeing Ryo at all. When he found out Ryo was auditioning for Johnny’s entertainment, he auditioned too, hoping to be with Ryo everyday even if it meant getting insults thrown at him everyday.
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9 years later…
Ever since Ueda and Ryo got into JE, Ryo had been ignoring him the whole time. He saw Ueda as if he doesn’t even exist. Ueda’s heart completely shattered when Ryo declared that he had never saw Ueda before. Every blood veins inside of Ueda stopped and his heart stopped pumping after Ryo walked away. Ueda cried and suffered, but that didn’t seem to get Ryo talking to him. He would rather Ryo yell at him than not talking to him, so he would dress up like Gackt and “pretend” to be someone else. That way, at least Ryo would notice him and insult him. That way, he knows that Ryo knows he exist, he knows he exist in Ryo’s eyes.
“What do you want to become?” Ryo worded out another painful insult in front of everyone, but Ueda just smiled and stood there. “What do I want to become?” Ueda jeered at himself mentally. He want to be the one Ryo loved, but he thought he sounded stupid just saying that in his mind. Days would pass by, and Ryo will insult and yell at Ueda whenever he got the chance to. Ryo’s insults hurt Ueda everyday, and they still do. Ueda feel hurt and he would cry not because Ryo call him ugly or a loser, it was because Ryo hate him. Whenever Ryo insult Ueda, all the words that come out of his lips turn into “I hate you” no matter what Ryo says. Ueda cry because Ryo is so close to Uchi, and that he cared so much for him. Ryo and Uchi would do almost everything together, and when Uchi left NewS and Kajani8, he was miserable. He was miserable and sad because of Uchi.
Ueda couldn’t stand it anymore. He decided to give up. He wanted to give up. He decided to let his hair grow, and dyed it back his original colour. He was sick and tired of being hurt and pretend to be someone he’s not just to be noticed. He was tired. He didn’t care much anymore. Ueda now learned to avoid Ryo, and ignore Ryo’s insults when they meet. He learned to shut himself from the world and live his life peacefully without being hurt.
When Ueda arrived to work today, and found himself early and alone in the KAT-TUN dressing room. He unpacked is stuff, put on his makeup and changed into his costume. Moments later, Taguchi, Koki and Kamenashi arrived. They greeted each other and joined the makeup artist after. 5 minutes later, Jin and Maru arrived the room. Ueda had always liked Jin and Maru. Jin was very innocent and very dumb sometimes, but it’s not a bad thing. Jin is easy to be around, and he is a very supportive and royal friend. Maru is always kind to Ueda, and a good listener too. No matter what happens, Maru would listen patiently for what Ueda has to say, and supports and comforts him. Jin and Maru are really the only true friends Ueda has left.
After a long photo shoot, they were on a 45 minutes lunch break. Ueda had decided to skip lunch again today, and just sat in front of the window and drift into his own world. For a long time, Ueda felt at ease, but that peaceful moment was crushed when Ryo stepped in with Uchi. “Oh look, its your highness, Princess Ueda!” Ryo announced to Uchi, who just stood there and said nothing. “What? Is Princess in a bad mood? Ignoring people is very rude you know! Oh well… that’s what spoiled, unskilled people do everyday.” Ryo ended his insults with a smirk, and decided to start another one, but was interrupted by Maru. “Nishikido kun, don’t you have a photo shoot or something?” Maru glared at Ryo, giving him a “get out of here” look. Ryo just glared back with a “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” look, and Uchi just apologized and dragged Ryo out.
Maru walked over to Ueda and asked with concern, “You okay?” “Yea thanks, I’m fine.” Ueda smiled and thanked at Maru’s concern for him. A few seconds later, Jin came skipping into the room with a bag in his hands. “UEBO!!! FOUND YA!!” Jin cheered as he gave Ueda a bear hug. Ueda smiled and asked, “What’s in your bag, Jin?” Jin let go of Ueda and took out a bento from his bag. “It’s your lunch!” Jin handed the bento box to Ueda, who gracefully accepted it with a surprise. “I noticed that you haven’t been eating right, so I decided to buy you a bento box while I was eating!” Jin smiled at Ueda, and smiled back and thanked him. “Thanks Jin.” Ueda couldn’t be more grateful that he has such good friends that take care of him.
From the corner, Ryo was watching Ueda after he sent Uchi away. He didn’t like how Maru and Jin were so nice to Ueda. Ryo decided to punish Ueda, in a…different way this time. He smirked at his wonderful plan.
When today’s practice ended and everyone went home, Ueda slowly packed up his stuff and decided to go home. When he walked down the corridor, he was suddenly being pulled by another arm into the storage room. The man pulled Ueda into the storage and swiftly shut the door behind Ueda. He pushed Ueda back until his back touched the door. The man turned on the light, and Ueda froze. “N-Nishikido…?” Ueda trembled at the thought of being alone with Ryo. Ryo just smirked and leaned forward and landed his lips on Ueda’s. Ueda was shocked at first, but as seconds passes by, he began to struggle. Ueda’s struggling didn’t stop Ryo from kissing Ueda hard or letting his tongue enter Ueda’s. The two were kissing like there was no tomorrow, and Ueda began to moan. When Ueda was drifted in the pleasure, Ryo suddenly pulled away, and smirked at Ueda. “You liked that don’t you? “ Ryo lifted Ueda’s chin up and smirked again. Suddenly, tears began forming around Ueda’s eyes when he finally understood why Ryo had kissed him. “So the Princess likes my kiss huh? I bet it was your first kiss too.” Ryo continued with his insults as Ueda started crying. Ueda pushed Ryo away and ran out the closet. “…..” Ryo was silent as he slided himself down on the floor and sighed. “Damn it…why do you have to be so sensitive.
Even if Ryo didn’t want to admit it, he still cared for Ueda. He actually liked that kiss he had with Ueda, but his senses just wouldn’t let him not to insult and hurt Ueda. Ryo covered his face with one hand, and pounded the ground hard with the other as he screamed.
Ueda’s world had collapsed. “Why? Why do I love him so much?” Ueda was mentally asking himself between his crying and running. “Why did he give me hope and then take it away again?” Ueda had finally stopped running and slumped on his knees. He curled up in a ball of protection, and sobbed hysterically. His crying sounds more miserable and painful as he tightened himself harder in his hug.
To be continued…