Cloud no. 9
1) All fills for prompts of the earlier prompt posts go in the post the prompt was posted in. No re-posting or splitting up prompts and fills.
2) Self-prompt when you post unprompted fic. (This means posting what the fill is about in a first comment, like a real prompt, and commenting on that with your fill.)
3) Try not to get too srs business. ( Read more... )
Editor's Note: Even though the writer sent this letter to us using a combination of magical and Muggle means (in as much as an owl delivered it, but it had the Muggle Royal Mail stamp on it), we have decided to print it, if merely for entertainment value. See our article on the amusing history of what Muggles call "democracy" on page 21. For words and concepts you might not understand, see the Glossary below the letter.
It has been the first year of our new Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, in office and he has already made some remarkable contributions to the re-building effort of both his ministry and the British wizarding society. I have watched these reforms as what some derisively and hysterically call wizard-born, a wizard who has successfully integrated himself into the Muggle world to serve its people, a little incomprehensible though they may be. My decision to integrate came at an early age, when I took Muggle Studies at Hogwarts and was more fascinated by the process of economic recovery in post-War Muggle Britain, than in Troll politics of the early 18th century (no offence to the History of Magic teacher, who was all things considered, doing his best).
I am writing this letter, not to critisise the world I left behind as under-developed, but rather to point out that Muggles too are making great strides and some that the wizarding world would do good to take into account when discussing progress in their own sphere. Muggles have recently voted1 the Tories2 out and put their trust in the Labour party3, of which I've been a member ever since I left Hogwarts to begin my integration into Muggle society. The Labour Prime Minister4 Tony Blair5 is leading Muggle Britain into a whole new dawn of progressive politics, and Labour in power has already put a number of important reforms underway.
The Muggles have not always valued equality above all, but Wizards even less so. I am struck, as I now view the wizarding society, by the low level of wages which inconvenience the poorer families and the lax legislation which allows the richest to gain even more funds. The monetary system is unnecessarily complicated and the mistrust between wizards and those who run their banks is almost comical. Children often graduate from Hogwarts, lacking the necessary skills for a great number of jobs. Apprenticeships must be chased through personal and familial connections, which many Muggle-born or half-blood wizards and witches lack, and apprentices are often mocked as "mice of Merlin", after the strange old wives' tale about Merlin having a mouse for an apprentice (incidentally, the Muggles have their own version of the tale), even though they are the only way into certain professions.
The equality between sexes could also be greatly improved between wizards and witches. A witch's Galleon is still only thirteen Sickles, and the lack of Ministry help towards young witches who have just become mothers is simply deplorable. Magdalena Maidenfeather's "Treatise on the Rightse of Witchese" still goes largely unread by the intellectual elite, its points considered largely outdated, even though this is far from truth. Of course, the wizarding world (even the name excludes witches, goblins, house-elves and so on) has had some of its most powerful and influential female members always included into its proud history, whereas women have been shamefully sidelined by the writers of Muggle history. But there are still issues to be looked at, and I hope Maidenfeather will get a spot on Minister Shacklebolt's bookshelf.
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Sincerely yours,
Gordon Brown MP6
Chancellor of Exchequer7
Muggle Britain
Glossary (as provided by the only member of the Daily Prophet staff who took Muggle Studies at school - he did not get an OWL in the subject, however)
1. Voting is something Muggles do to select their leader, even though it makes them feel quite frustrated and cross.
2. Tories are a party of people who are enormously fond of the American female name "Tori". Their current leader is Tori Thatcher.
3. Labour is a party for those people who are working or have given birth, or both. Hence, labour.
4. Prime Minister is the non-magical minister in charge. Once a week he answers questions, but he always finds it very annoying, so instead he exchanges insults with the Leader of the Opposition. Witnesses claim this can get almost as violent as most Quidditch matches.
5. Tony Blair has no relation to Barry "Bludgeon" Blair of Falmouth Falcons, famous for his extraordinarily brutal playing style.
6. MP means Member of Parliament. Members of Parliament will discuss this, and occasionally wrestle. They are divided into Commons, named after the use of common words, such as Speaker, who is the person who doesn't speak very much when parliament is in session. Muggles are very proud of their system of government, Merlin knows why.
7. Chancellor of Exchequer is somebody who looks after the Prime Minister's pocket money. Strangely enough, all money in Muggle Britain is Prime Minister's pocket money, therefore making the Chancellor's position rather powerful because Muggles value money above all else, except maybe "footsieball", which is a sport they're also very fond of.
If You Are Interested in Muggles, Consider Buying "Muggles: A List of Facts We're Pretty Sure Are True!" by our editor Barnabas Cuffe, proof-read by Mrs Fiona Gwoggpot, who once encountered a Muggle on one of her daily walks around Puddlemere! Only 2 Galleons 3 Sickles for the full 200-page volume!
Author notes - I love the other fill but I'd already begun writing this when it was posted, and it's a world removed from the other fill so I hope it's fine. I think wizard!Gordon is my personal canon now.
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I LOVE THIS FILL
I LOVE GORDON BROWN <3333333
The Muggle Prime Minister remains blissfully ignorant, and considering his character, I consider this for the best.
Bwahahahahaha XD
The footnotes are absolutely spot on, "Muggles: A List of Facts We're Pretty Sure Are True" sounds exactly like the sort of thing you'd find in a Harry Potter book.
I'm the authoranon of the other fill, and I fully support the writing of more Harry Potter-related crossovers :D
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