(no subject)
Fic the First for scarvesnhats. prompt here
Title: a Sort of Eve...
Author: lolita_stardust
Pairing: um...
Rating: PG-13 ish I suppose, suggestive but certainly not explicit
Summary: "as Sirius holds out an indecently red green and shiny apple all devilish smile and innocent grey eyes, Remus can only dimly reflect that this is what Eve must have felt like with the Snake"
Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to J.K. Rowling. I'd like to think that this is what she'd do with with them, had she the time, the inclination and a slightly older audience...
Feedback: Always nice
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by ratsnim and the lovely tiggothy
Walk far enough around the Hogwarts lake and you come to a hut, tidier and cosier than Hagrid’s, painted a peeling white and surrounded by young apple trees. Avoided by the younger part of the school for it’s proximity to the Forbidden Forest and by the older half for its relative lack of privacy (the locations of the three hidden rooms that were suitable for more adult ‘indoor pursuits’ were passed down from sage sixth and seventh years to awed fifth years like a rite-of-passage), it was almost always empty, except when…
The front of Remus’s jumper was being slowly ruined by the dirt and sawdust on the floor. He’d turn over if he didn’t have the good sense to realise that this would just ruin the back as well, so he lay on his front, chin propped up on his elbows and tried to read.
….
“accio apple!” Thud “owfuck!”
…
“accio apple!” thud “ow!”
after perhaps five minutes Remus put his book down entirely to wonder what on earth Sirius had been doing as a child when everyone else was busy Learning From Experience.
“Pads, either learn to catch, learn to dodge or practise your sodding Summoning Charms! And just because I can’t see you, doesn’t mean I don’t know what obscene gesture you’re pointing my way”
“but Moony my dear fellow, I am providing! What’s a Sunday Studying Session without provisions, eh?”
“what’s a Sunday Studying Session without studying you pillock! Have you even been near a book since we got down here?”
Sirius finally edged his way into the hut, laden with apples and sporting an impressively bruised cheekbone to flop in the dirt beside Remus.
“I have, as you so wisely suggested, been practising my Summoning Charms haven’t I? Now enjoy the fruits of my labour”
The way he said it didn’t leave too much room for arguing; Remus took one of the less bruised Cox's and settled onto his back to eat it.
A few crunches later, he was wondering how on earth he hadn’t forseen the apple juice trickling from his mouth, down his cheek, and into his ear in a cold, stickily unpleasant sort of way. Half a second after that he was wondering why he hadn’t thought to wipe it away before Pads took it upon himself to lick it off.
“Bleurgh!! Sirius that is loathsome - get off this instant or I shall call rape, and the whole school will hear and Hagrid, the centaurs and the Giant Squid shall leap on you to defend my honour. No, seriously Pads, that is one of the more disgust- oh hell, Rape! Raaaape-mmphhh!!”
“That’s hardly playing fair now is it Moony, mmm?" said Sirius, removing his hand from Remus's mouth and his tongue from Remus's ear, "All I was doing was destickifying your poor ear. Now, let’s roll you over onto your front and help you to enjoy the -ahem- fruits of my labour”
"you already made that joke-" protested Remus weakly, as from Merlin-only-knows-where, Sirius produced a pocket-knife that, from the looks of the Black-crested handle, was probably worth more than Remus and his family and his family’s family put together. Sirius started to half, then quarter an apple, feeding slices past his wind-chapped, pouty lips with more relish than, Remus felt, was strictly necessary. Remus swallowed and turned back to his transfiguration textbook, trying desperately to take in more than one word in ten and preferably make that one word in ten not and, if, or the. All the while he was keeping up a constant inner diatribe against his weakness and perversion and total impropriety of feelings towards his a) friend b) male friend c) Sirius! His totally male friend. Repeat; Friend. That was before he realised that Sirius had gone quiet, dangerously so. A peek over the textbook confirmed that Sirius, his head cocked to one side, was regarding him with a look that can only mean Trouble, with a capital T and possibly a capital R.O.U.B.L.E for good measure.
“Why Moony, don’t you care for my apples? I went to all this trouble, disfiguring my rakish good looks in the process might I add, to bring you apples and all you can do is read…go on, have another apple Moony…… and as Sirius holds out an indecently red green and shiny apple, all devilish smile and innocent grey eyes, Remus can only dimly reflect that this is what Eve must have felt like with the Snake before he opens his mouth and allows Sirius to feed him a slice, then two, then three, only stopping to delicately wipe the juice from the corner of his mouth…
Even on this far side of the lake, the melodious chime of the bell signalling 10 minutes to curfew can be heard. Remus can’t get up fast enough; stuttering half sentences about prefects, example setting, big tests on the ‘morrow even as he grabs half his books and half of Sirius’s. Brushing dust from his jumper and walking with almost-indecent haste back around the lake, he entirely failed to see the satisfied smirk on the face of the boy he left behind biting into an apple with a distinct air of victory about him.
Title: a Sort of Eve...
Author: lolita_stardust
Pairing: um...
Rating: PG-13 ish I suppose, suggestive but certainly not explicit
Summary: "as Sirius holds out an indecently red green and shiny apple all devilish smile and innocent grey eyes, Remus can only dimly reflect that this is what Eve must have felt like with the Snake"
Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to J.K. Rowling. I'd like to think that this is what she'd do with with them, had she the time, the inclination and a slightly older audience...
Feedback: Always nice
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by ratsnim and the lovely tiggothy
Walk far enough around the Hogwarts lake and you come to a hut, tidier and cosier than Hagrid’s, painted a peeling white and surrounded by young apple trees. Avoided by the younger part of the school for it’s proximity to the Forbidden Forest and by the older half for its relative lack of privacy (the locations of the three hidden rooms that were suitable for more adult ‘indoor pursuits’ were passed down from sage sixth and seventh years to awed fifth years like a rite-of-passage), it was almost always empty, except when…
The front of Remus’s jumper was being slowly ruined by the dirt and sawdust on the floor. He’d turn over if he didn’t have the good sense to realise that this would just ruin the back as well, so he lay on his front, chin propped up on his elbows and tried to read.
….
“accio apple!” Thud “owfuck!”
…
“accio apple!” thud “ow!”
after perhaps five minutes Remus put his book down entirely to wonder what on earth Sirius had been doing as a child when everyone else was busy Learning From Experience.
“Pads, either learn to catch, learn to dodge or practise your sodding Summoning Charms! And just because I can’t see you, doesn’t mean I don’t know what obscene gesture you’re pointing my way”
“but Moony my dear fellow, I am providing! What’s a Sunday Studying Session without provisions, eh?”
“what’s a Sunday Studying Session without studying you pillock! Have you even been near a book since we got down here?”
Sirius finally edged his way into the hut, laden with apples and sporting an impressively bruised cheekbone to flop in the dirt beside Remus.
“I have, as you so wisely suggested, been practising my Summoning Charms haven’t I? Now enjoy the fruits of my labour”
The way he said it didn’t leave too much room for arguing; Remus took one of the less bruised Cox's and settled onto his back to eat it.
A few crunches later, he was wondering how on earth he hadn’t forseen the apple juice trickling from his mouth, down his cheek, and into his ear in a cold, stickily unpleasant sort of way. Half a second after that he was wondering why he hadn’t thought to wipe it away before Pads took it upon himself to lick it off.
“Bleurgh!! Sirius that is loathsome - get off this instant or I shall call rape, and the whole school will hear and Hagrid, the centaurs and the Giant Squid shall leap on you to defend my honour. No, seriously Pads, that is one of the more disgust- oh hell, Rape! Raaaape-mmphhh!!”
“That’s hardly playing fair now is it Moony, mmm?" said Sirius, removing his hand from Remus's mouth and his tongue from Remus's ear, "All I was doing was destickifying your poor ear. Now, let’s roll you over onto your front and help you to enjoy the -ahem- fruits of my labour”
"you already made that joke-" protested Remus weakly, as from Merlin-only-knows-where, Sirius produced a pocket-knife that, from the looks of the Black-crested handle, was probably worth more than Remus and his family and his family’s family put together. Sirius started to half, then quarter an apple, feeding slices past his wind-chapped, pouty lips with more relish than, Remus felt, was strictly necessary. Remus swallowed and turned back to his transfiguration textbook, trying desperately to take in more than one word in ten and preferably make that one word in ten not and, if, or the. All the while he was keeping up a constant inner diatribe against his weakness and perversion and total impropriety of feelings towards his a) friend b) male friend c) Sirius! His totally male friend. Repeat; Friend. That was before he realised that Sirius had gone quiet, dangerously so. A peek over the textbook confirmed that Sirius, his head cocked to one side, was regarding him with a look that can only mean Trouble, with a capital T and possibly a capital R.O.U.B.L.E for good measure.
“Why Moony, don’t you care for my apples? I went to all this trouble, disfiguring my rakish good looks in the process might I add, to bring you apples and all you can do is read…go on, have another apple Moony…… and as Sirius holds out an indecently red green and shiny apple, all devilish smile and innocent grey eyes, Remus can only dimly reflect that this is what Eve must have felt like with the Snake before he opens his mouth and allows Sirius to feed him a slice, then two, then three, only stopping to delicately wipe the juice from the corner of his mouth…
Even on this far side of the lake, the melodious chime of the bell signalling 10 minutes to curfew can be heard. Remus can’t get up fast enough; stuttering half sentences about prefects, example setting, big tests on the ‘morrow even as he grabs half his books and half of Sirius’s. Brushing dust from his jumper and walking with almost-indecent haste back around the lake, he entirely failed to see the satisfied smirk on the face of the boy he left behind biting into an apple with a distinct air of victory about him.