you know, I never want to stop holding you
So I got engaged last Friday.
The past week has been nothing but motion, energy, and questions. I never really allowed myself to believe that I would really get married. Really. I always wanted it, deep down, but it's not something I would admit. Like, we're planning food and guest lists and I get to go dress shopping in two days and I'm still stuck on the point that someone wants to keep me.
Not only does he want to keep me, but he leaves me voicemails entirely comprised of compliments and sweet nothings. Every time I've come to him lately with a question, concern, or difficulty he has addressed it with the utmost care and respect. I can see myself being married to Miguel. And the weird thing is that it's actually going to happen.
And world, I want you to understand that I know you're not necessarily on board with us, that you might have some lingering concerns on how we're going to make it financially, emotionally or otherwise. I have made a conscious decision to face all the challenges that come along with preparing for marriage. I am hiding from nothing. But you also need to know that I have measures of faith that surpass the anxiety; that something deep down in me knows that the big questions will be answered in their own time. I refuse to be stressed or swayed. I will break down and cry from the pressure of outside questions before I bite my nails off worrying what job Miguel will have when we are married. It doesn't matter. Jobs are jobs. Life together in Jesus is life indeed.
The past week has been nothing but motion, energy, and questions. I never really allowed myself to believe that I would really get married. Really. I always wanted it, deep down, but it's not something I would admit. Like, we're planning food and guest lists and I get to go dress shopping in two days and I'm still stuck on the point that someone wants to keep me.
Not only does he want to keep me, but he leaves me voicemails entirely comprised of compliments and sweet nothings. Every time I've come to him lately with a question, concern, or difficulty he has addressed it with the utmost care and respect. I can see myself being married to Miguel. And the weird thing is that it's actually going to happen.
And world, I want you to understand that I know you're not necessarily on board with us, that you might have some lingering concerns on how we're going to make it financially, emotionally or otherwise. I have made a conscious decision to face all the challenges that come along with preparing for marriage. I am hiding from nothing. But you also need to know that I have measures of faith that surpass the anxiety; that something deep down in me knows that the big questions will be answered in their own time. I refuse to be stressed or swayed. I will break down and cry from the pressure of outside questions before I bite my nails off worrying what job Miguel will have when we are married. It doesn't matter. Jobs are jobs. Life together in Jesus is life indeed.