(no subject)
Last night (I think it was last night, but I'm not sure, it might have been Wednesday), My Tortured Vegan and I watched this MTV True Life programme about kids (when I say kids I mean anyone under 30) with bipolar disorder. Reading or watching or hearing anything about mental illness always scares me because I rememeber being so close to that. If you'd seen me at four, raging like a tortured animal, you'd know what I mean. If you'd seen me stabbing myself with fucking safety pins on fire... I guess for me though it wasn't an illness, because there was a point where I got to choose, where I took possession of myself and realized that the moods I had were not the end of the world, and that that was a good thing because the world was a quite nice place to be, for many reasons including but not limited to:
1. the aroma that emnates when you rip open a package of perfect (leaf) Earl Grey tea
2. if you keep doing push-ups, you'll keep being able to do more and more push-ups
3. big belly laughs
4. belting out Tom Waits songs while driving 80 m.p.h.
5. when someone else knows exactly what you mean without you having to explain all the petty details
6. eavesdropping on anyone learning a new language in the library
7. strangers bum each other cigarettes in this world
You know, even though I'm a hermit with little social skill, and even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life,and even though that has to cost so much of my hard-earned cash and even though sometimes I hate so many things about this world, I can honestly say at this point that I'm somebody whose truly, madly, deeply in love with life. I think I might just have gotten myself Self-Actualized while I wasn't looking.
1. the aroma that emnates when you rip open a package of perfect (leaf) Earl Grey tea
2. if you keep doing push-ups, you'll keep being able to do more and more push-ups
3. big belly laughs
4. belting out Tom Waits songs while driving 80 m.p.h.
5. when someone else knows exactly what you mean without you having to explain all the petty details
6. eavesdropping on anyone learning a new language in the library
7. strangers bum each other cigarettes in this world
You know, even though I'm a hermit with little social skill, and even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life,and even though that has to cost so much of my hard-earned cash and even though sometimes I hate so many things about this world, I can honestly say at this point that I'm somebody whose truly, madly, deeply in love with life. I think I might just have gotten myself Self-Actualized while I wasn't looking.