You should laugh at me,
if for no other reason than the length of time it takes me to realize I have a crush on somebody and because, after that epiphany, I bumble and babble like a twelve-year-old, or even worse, I simply avert my gaze. I sort of don't know what grown-up Lola would do in these situations and, well, high-school Lola never needed to worry because they always came to her. And they were almost always female and under eighteen and now I'm almost nineteen and the crush is 25 and male and it's a bit more of an enigma. I keep trying to think like a 25-year-old guy, which is quite difficult, and the best that I can figure is that, if I were Mr. Hackeysack and some 18-year-old had a crush on me, even if I liked her, I'd think she was a bit dingy no matter what she did... And he did used to talk to me whenever we were working in the same aisle. I probably just like him because he likes my hair... And, atypically for me, he has this typical "I'm-a-stereotypically-hot-guy-and-I-totally-know-it-but-I'm-pretending-I-don't" look going on, which totally works for him. Seriously, if you show up at my library, you'll be able to pick him out in 30 seconds flat and rest secure in knowing that the one library girl I had a crush on (who moved to Main and had a boyfriend anyway) was slightly less mainstream looking.
I wouldn't want to get too close to him anyway, even if he was interested, because in my imagination, I can just grab him in the stacks, whereas in real life, there'd be all the tedium of somebody sheepishly asking for somebody else's number and then grappling for conversation and I don't have the energy for that.
I call him Mr. Hackeysack because that is what Cologne'N'Crucifix calls both the new boys at work, and it amuses me even though I've seen Mr. Hackeysack in his emo glasses. We were looking through the legendary staff notebook and C'N'C was making fun of "Mr. Hackeysack's wannabe Robert DeNiro pose." Not that he should talk, as he wears old-man aftershave at 16 and thinks Lil' Kim is hot.
I'm having tons of fun making up names for people at work so I'm going to keep writing about them.
If I could have three wishes, one of them would be to have all the adults in my life turn into their 17-year-old selves for a few days. Especially the people at work. It would just be too much fun to shoot the breeze with The Facts of Life when she was a fishnetted CAHS theater kid, Madame X as an angsty bookworm and Queer As Folk when he was a metalhead. I'd love seeing The Pagemaster as a Catholic schoolgirl obsessed with her homework and The Gift of Gab(who's now 64) as a flirty 50s teen, and Lady Lucifer as the perpetual wet blanket she still is, ratting everybody out... I can just imagine Bunny, looking just like she does now... Even better would be those I've no clues about.
I wouldn't want to get too close to him anyway, even if he was interested, because in my imagination, I can just grab him in the stacks, whereas in real life, there'd be all the tedium of somebody sheepishly asking for somebody else's number and then grappling for conversation and I don't have the energy for that.
I call him Mr. Hackeysack because that is what Cologne'N'Crucifix calls both the new boys at work, and it amuses me even though I've seen Mr. Hackeysack in his emo glasses. We were looking through the legendary staff notebook and C'N'C was making fun of "Mr. Hackeysack's wannabe Robert DeNiro pose." Not that he should talk, as he wears old-man aftershave at 16 and thinks Lil' Kim is hot.
I'm having tons of fun making up names for people at work so I'm going to keep writing about them.
If I could have three wishes, one of them would be to have all the adults in my life turn into their 17-year-old selves for a few days. Especially the people at work. It would just be too much fun to shoot the breeze with The Facts of Life when she was a fishnetted CAHS theater kid, Madame X as an angsty bookworm and Queer As Folk when he was a metalhead. I'd love seeing The Pagemaster as a Catholic schoolgirl obsessed with her homework and The Gift of Gab(who's now 64) as a flirty 50s teen, and Lady Lucifer as the perpetual wet blanket she still is, ratting everybody out... I can just imagine Bunny, looking just like she does now... Even better would be those I've no clues about.