"Draco Malfoy. Secret crush/sexual fantasy?" and other questions
Okay guys, here are my answers! The numbers and characters are behind the cut, but I’ve also edited the character’s names into your questions for ease of reference :)
The characters:
1. Dawn Summers
2. Severus Snape
3. June
4. Percy Weasley
5. Captain John Hart
6. Sirius Black
7. Draco Malfoy
8. Rory Pond
9. Angel
10. Lilah Morgan
11. Neal Caffrey
12. Diana Barrigan
13. Bellatrix Lestrange
14. Faith Lehane
15. Minerva McGonagall
melusinahp asked: Dawn Summers. Does this one have any interesting birthmarks?
Likely not - the monks were careful, you see.
Diana Barrigan. What's this one's most embarrassing crush?
June :)
okydoky asked: Captain John Hart. Favourite sexual position?
He doesn’t really have one favourite, as such. He’s got “switch” written all over him, after all, and positions vary according to the anatomy of the other partner. However, since his love for Jack is a love that stuck - I’m going with ‘on all fours after naked hide-and-seek.’ Preferably with Ianto, a natural top if ever there was one and not trusting enough by half to leave John alone with Jack, fucking his mouth.
Angel. What do they drink in the pub?
He doesn’t go to pubs. He likes to sit and brood.
However, on the odd occasion when Lorne or Spike forces him, or he has to go undercover, he drinks Guinness. Because Irish, and also no one can mock his manliness. (He’s sensitive.)
hpfan12 asked: Sirius Black. Bad habits?
Aside from the bullying, recklessness and propensity to drink? He’s still not used to being around people again; it’s part of why he hides in a cave once he’s freed. Talking to Buckbeak and shouting at his mother’s portrait are easy; his habit of hiding from Remus and his tired eyes is bad.
Draco Malfoy. Sexual fantasy/ Secret crush?
He had an enormous crush on Snape from the moment puberty hit. The deep voice, the dark eyes, the wit, the skill, the talented hands, the sense that they were both on one team against the rest of the world. He only ever told Crabbe and Goyle, because he knew they wouldn’t tell. He didn’t tell them about all the rest of his fantasies: Snape asking him to take private lessons, because he thought Draco had a bright future; the two of them having terribly intellectual discussions, and Snape admiring Draco’s mind; Snape kissing him like he couldn’t bear to stop, and fucking him thoroughly and wonderfully (and telling Draco he was handsome and worthy and good.) The fantasies faded with his sixth year: his libido was crushed anyway, and he was so furious with Snape for his betrayal of his father and so frightened Snape would find out using Legilimency. And after Dumbledore’s death Snape never looked at him.
Draco still fantasises about Snape: that he comes back, and says he couldn’t stay away, I’m so sorry I lied to you, I had to for the war; and Draco says it’s all right and Snape smiles and they go to bed.
this_girlis asked: Captain John Hart and Angel have a one night stand. What does June think about it?
I suspect she thinks LOLOLOL DID YOU MISS YOUR MORALLY AMBIGUOUS EX? SHAME ABOUT THE HAIR, ISN’T IT.
Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy bump into each other in a bar while one or both are quite pissed. What happens?
“Sshir?”
“Ugh. Of all the bars in all the world...”
“You’re s’posed to be dead!” *sniffs*
“And you’re supposed to be sober, little boy. Leave me with my whiskey, it’s a more entertaining conversationalist.”
“I’m not a boy!”
“You still call me sir. You’re clearly aware - ” *choked noise*
*breathily* “Calling you sir doesn’t make me any less of a grown-up.”
“You’re drunk, and I... am too old and too tired to bother about taking advantage.”
*beams* “Would you like me to get my paddle from home?”
What do Dawn Summers and Faith Lehane have in common?
Issues about being second-best to Buffy. :)
Of the other characters not from the same 'verse, who would make the best romantic partner for Diana Barrigan?
Faith, Lilah, Dawn or Minerva - Minerva’s a pretty good option. They’re both clever, good lieutenants to their general, and devoted to the cause of order and good. Lilah is obviously way too evil (plus copper/lawyer pairing? Not so likely.) Faith I could see being drawn to Diana - she’d be a stabilising influence, and Faith does like warriors for good :D But I think Faith, by S7, was still getting her head on straight and I can’t see Diana falling for a fixer-upper.
That said - S7 finished in 2002 or so, yes? So by now Faith should be okay. But Dawn will be around Diana’s age, and she’s a gorgeous young intellectual type, fighting the good fight without demanding the limelight. Plus they could be witty at each other. I say YES. DAWN/DIANA. It’s really sort of mythical.
teenageworrier asked: What would happen if Percy Weasley and Neal Caffrey fought crime?
AHAHAHAHA. Well, it would not be as successful as Peter-Burke-and-Neal-Caffrey fighting crime, I’ll tell you that much. I suspect that if the Ministry stole Neal to help fight crime, Neal would promptly start committing a raft of crimes which Percy would not notice. Then Peter would show up in high dudgeon, demanding to know if Neal thought he’d get away with it.
“No... I just wanted to see how much it’d take for you to come get me.”
Would Draco Malfoy really eat Angel?
Brilliant question! (Draco was 7, Angel 9.) I can see Draco and Angel at some sort of do for evil businessmen, sulking about Harry and Spike being bad boyfriends who refused to come with them, and they are each other’s types.
Is Bellatrix Lestrange unlucky?
Well, she’s crazy and spent over a decade in Azkaban, so I’d say yes. And she does love to share it around.
Is Lilah Morgan very naughty? How would Rory Pond react to that?
Undoubtedly yes, she is. And he would react with SHEER TERROR but try to scare her. Which wouldn’t work, but the Doctor and Amy would come and deal with the situation.
What is Sirius Black's recurring nightmare about?
At fourteen: his mother. At eighteen: having to fight Regulus for real. At twenty-two: James’ death. At thirty-five: Harry’s.
Severus Snape and Faith Lehane shag. Who's on top?
Absolutely Faith. She only bottoms for Buffy :)
Dawn Summers, June, Captain John Hart: in a game of Shag-Cliff-Marry, who would Rory Pond choose?
I think he’d cede to Amy, considering their marriage has room for a Doctor; she would unrepentantly cliff John, have them both marry Dawn because she’s pretty and has a track record in fighting evil, and opt for a threesome with June.
Which trait of Diana Barrigan's does Captain John Hart most want?
I don’t know if “access to a crucial Earth law enforcement agency’s data” counts as a trait... quite possibly her ability to snipe effectively at conmen.
r_grayjoy asked Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, and Angel are trapped in a lift together. What happens?
Angel tries getting them out of it with brawn; Snape tries getting them out of it with magic. Draco stands there making cutting comments until Severus commands him to be quiet; Draco blushes and drops his eyes. Angel knows what this means, shares some meaningful eye contact with Snape, and soon they’re sharing Draco and his howls are echoing deafeningly around the lift. Snape lets Angel bite him, and Angel draws from the thigh.
When they’re finished, Draco uses his canonical fix-it skills to sort out the lift. And smiles angelically.
June and Captain John Hart are trapped together and facing certain doom. One makes a confession to the other. What do they confess?
June confesses that, well, she’s always liked bad boys. And then they have sex. :D
Percy Weasley and Rory Pond are both in love with Dawn Summers. Who does Dawn choose?
Percy. She likes quietly efficient, clever people and they know what it’s like to be lost in the noise; besides, she was around for the carwreck that was Buffy-and-Angel-and-Spike and it’s scared her away from poly experimentation forever.
elainemalfoy asked Is Bellatrix Lestrange secretly in love with Draco Malfoy?
No, but she’s okay with using him for sex. :D
What's Angel's favorite genre of music?
Easy Listening, although he has a fondness for nineties pop, because it reminds him of Cordy.
The characters:
1. Dawn Summers
2. Severus Snape
3. June
4. Percy Weasley
5. Captain John Hart
6. Sirius Black
7. Draco Malfoy
8. Rory Pond
9. Angel
10. Lilah Morgan
11. Neal Caffrey
12. Diana Barrigan
13. Bellatrix Lestrange
14. Faith Lehane
15. Minerva McGonagall
melusinahp asked: Dawn Summers. Does this one have any interesting birthmarks?
Likely not - the monks were careful, you see.
Diana Barrigan. What's this one's most embarrassing crush?
June :)
okydoky asked: Captain John Hart. Favourite sexual position?
He doesn’t really have one favourite, as such. He’s got “switch” written all over him, after all, and positions vary according to the anatomy of the other partner. However, since his love for Jack is a love that stuck - I’m going with ‘on all fours after naked hide-and-seek.’ Preferably with Ianto, a natural top if ever there was one and not trusting enough by half to leave John alone with Jack, fucking his mouth.
Angel. What do they drink in the pub?
He doesn’t go to pubs. He likes to sit and brood.
However, on the odd occasion when Lorne or Spike forces him, or he has to go undercover, he drinks Guinness. Because Irish, and also no one can mock his manliness. (He’s sensitive.)
hpfan12 asked: Sirius Black. Bad habits?
Aside from the bullying, recklessness and propensity to drink? He’s still not used to being around people again; it’s part of why he hides in a cave once he’s freed. Talking to Buckbeak and shouting at his mother’s portrait are easy; his habit of hiding from Remus and his tired eyes is bad.
Draco Malfoy. Sexual fantasy/ Secret crush?
He had an enormous crush on Snape from the moment puberty hit. The deep voice, the dark eyes, the wit, the skill, the talented hands, the sense that they were both on one team against the rest of the world. He only ever told Crabbe and Goyle, because he knew they wouldn’t tell. He didn’t tell them about all the rest of his fantasies: Snape asking him to take private lessons, because he thought Draco had a bright future; the two of them having terribly intellectual discussions, and Snape admiring Draco’s mind; Snape kissing him like he couldn’t bear to stop, and fucking him thoroughly and wonderfully (and telling Draco he was handsome and worthy and good.) The fantasies faded with his sixth year: his libido was crushed anyway, and he was so furious with Snape for his betrayal of his father and so frightened Snape would find out using Legilimency. And after Dumbledore’s death Snape never looked at him.
Draco still fantasises about Snape: that he comes back, and says he couldn’t stay away, I’m so sorry I lied to you, I had to for the war; and Draco says it’s all right and Snape smiles and they go to bed.
this_girlis asked: Captain John Hart and Angel have a one night stand. What does June think about it?
I suspect she thinks LOLOLOL DID YOU MISS YOUR MORALLY AMBIGUOUS EX? SHAME ABOUT THE HAIR, ISN’T IT.
Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy bump into each other in a bar while one or both are quite pissed. What happens?
“Sshir?”
“Ugh. Of all the bars in all the world...”
“You’re s’posed to be dead!” *sniffs*
“And you’re supposed to be sober, little boy. Leave me with my whiskey, it’s a more entertaining conversationalist.”
“I’m not a boy!”
“You still call me sir. You’re clearly aware - ” *choked noise*
*breathily* “Calling you sir doesn’t make me any less of a grown-up.”
“You’re drunk, and I... am too old and too tired to bother about taking advantage.”
*beams* “Would you like me to get my paddle from home?”
What do Dawn Summers and Faith Lehane have in common?
Issues about being second-best to Buffy. :)
Of the other characters not from the same 'verse, who would make the best romantic partner for Diana Barrigan?
Faith, Lilah, Dawn or Minerva - Minerva’s a pretty good option. They’re both clever, good lieutenants to their general, and devoted to the cause of order and good. Lilah is obviously way too evil (plus copper/lawyer pairing? Not so likely.) Faith I could see being drawn to Diana - she’d be a stabilising influence, and Faith does like warriors for good :D But I think Faith, by S7, was still getting her head on straight and I can’t see Diana falling for a fixer-upper.
That said - S7 finished in 2002 or so, yes? So by now Faith should be okay. But Dawn will be around Diana’s age, and she’s a gorgeous young intellectual type, fighting the good fight without demanding the limelight. Plus they could be witty at each other. I say YES. DAWN/DIANA. It’s really sort of mythical.
teenageworrier asked: What would happen if Percy Weasley and Neal Caffrey fought crime?
AHAHAHAHA. Well, it would not be as successful as Peter-Burke-and-Neal-Caffrey fighting crime, I’ll tell you that much. I suspect that if the Ministry stole Neal to help fight crime, Neal would promptly start committing a raft of crimes which Percy would not notice. Then Peter would show up in high dudgeon, demanding to know if Neal thought he’d get away with it.
“No... I just wanted to see how much it’d take for you to come get me.”
Would Draco Malfoy really eat Angel?
Brilliant question! (Draco was 7, Angel 9.) I can see Draco and Angel at some sort of do for evil businessmen, sulking about Harry and Spike being bad boyfriends who refused to come with them, and they are each other’s types.
Is Bellatrix Lestrange unlucky?
Well, she’s crazy and spent over a decade in Azkaban, so I’d say yes. And she does love to share it around.
Is Lilah Morgan very naughty? How would Rory Pond react to that?
Undoubtedly yes, she is. And he would react with SHEER TERROR but try to scare her. Which wouldn’t work, but the Doctor and Amy would come and deal with the situation.
What is Sirius Black's recurring nightmare about?
At fourteen: his mother. At eighteen: having to fight Regulus for real. At twenty-two: James’ death. At thirty-five: Harry’s.
Severus Snape and Faith Lehane shag. Who's on top?
Absolutely Faith. She only bottoms for Buffy :)
Dawn Summers, June, Captain John Hart: in a game of Shag-Cliff-Marry, who would Rory Pond choose?
I think he’d cede to Amy, considering their marriage has room for a Doctor; she would unrepentantly cliff John, have them both marry Dawn because she’s pretty and has a track record in fighting evil, and opt for a threesome with June.
Which trait of Diana Barrigan's does Captain John Hart most want?
I don’t know if “access to a crucial Earth law enforcement agency’s data” counts as a trait... quite possibly her ability to snipe effectively at conmen.
r_grayjoy asked Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, and Angel are trapped in a lift together. What happens?
Angel tries getting them out of it with brawn; Snape tries getting them out of it with magic. Draco stands there making cutting comments until Severus commands him to be quiet; Draco blushes and drops his eyes. Angel knows what this means, shares some meaningful eye contact with Snape, and soon they’re sharing Draco and his howls are echoing deafeningly around the lift. Snape lets Angel bite him, and Angel draws from the thigh.
When they’re finished, Draco uses his canonical fix-it skills to sort out the lift. And smiles angelically.
June and Captain John Hart are trapped together and facing certain doom. One makes a confession to the other. What do they confess?
June confesses that, well, she’s always liked bad boys. And then they have sex. :D
Percy Weasley and Rory Pond are both in love with Dawn Summers. Who does Dawn choose?
Percy. She likes quietly efficient, clever people and they know what it’s like to be lost in the noise; besides, she was around for the carwreck that was Buffy-and-Angel-and-Spike and it’s scared her away from poly experimentation forever.
elainemalfoy asked Is Bellatrix Lestrange secretly in love with Draco Malfoy?
No, but she’s okay with using him for sex. :D
What's Angel's favorite genre of music?
Easy Listening, although he has a fondness for nineties pop, because it reminds him of Cordy.