“dreamed you into life” (1D; liam/harry)
fill for brojan over @ the liam_harry ficathon!
prompt: ONLINE DATING AU ft. harry's obnoxiously quirky profile and liam charming him via misspelled messages and copious use of emoticons
a/n: andwhatyousaid helped me out greatly with the delicate artistic balance of misspelling basic english words as only beautiful breadbox liam payne can do. title from that one savage garden song because it's overly ridiculous and also i'm in a rush.
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Liam has two guitar compositions that he’d had to totally re-finger by Friday, and revising for a test in Advanced Music Theory that eats his life for a week, but he’s still a bit surprised when he finally logs into the London Lovers website over the weekend and sees he’s got thirty new nudges and nearly as many new emails in his Inbox.
Somewhat baffled as to how he could have suddenly become so popular- the last user who’d messaged Liam had seriously asked: ‘hey do you have any fit cricket mates i could meet?’- Liam clicks on his Inbox and quickly realizes the reason why.
Shuffling his laptop onto his mattress in disgust, Liam digs his mobile out of his pocket, sending off a quick and furious text to Louis:
when i find you u r gunna be so dead tommoo SO DEADDDD
The reply comes as Liam’s helplessly clicking around, trying to figure out how to change his profile back to what it had been set to before, but he’s not having much luck. Zayn, who’d helped Liam register for the site in the first place, will probably have to come undo whatever ungodly thing it is Louis’s done to get Liam’s picture changed from a nice, boring, fully-clothed shot of Liam in his cricket gear to the massively embarrassing one from last year’s Halloween party-the party Liam barely remembers, except that he’d had like five shots of tequila in a row, taken off his top and put on his mate Stacey’s princess tiara, and let someone write, ‘KISS ME I’M BATMAN’ across his bare chest with a marker. So, obviously, it’s a picture he really wants to be out there in the world when he’s trying to do the whole online dating thing.
morning to you, too! you are welcome, btw. any takers yet? Louis texts.
i’m gunna feed u yur own bloddy shoeess, whatve u done to my LL profile ??? >:(
i’ve fixed it for you, livened it up a bit. showing the world the Real Liam Payne, all that! it’s fine you can thank me later.
Liam sighs, stuffing his mobile under a pillow since Louis’s actual face isn’t around to smother with it. Liam has alternating days when he blesses the day Louis answered Liam’s ad for a flatmate, and when he curses it. Today is one of the latter.
He grouses to himself about ‘pint-sized interfering busybodies’ as he sorts through the cringe-worthy collection in his Inbox. There’s one message that’s just an invitation to drive his Batmobile into a bloke’s arse, which is just wonderful. Liam could’ve gone his whole life without seeing a phrase like that, and now, thanks to Tommo, he doesn’t have to.
A new message pops in just as Liam’s nearly finished, but it’s different from the rest: nothing rude or naughty to it, no Batman or princess-themed sex puns; it’s just a single, simple line that says,
Nice tats, mate. :)
Liam checks back at the Halloween picture, puzzled, but sure enough you can see them-the feather on his forearm where he’s hefting a red solo cup to his big doofy-looking laughing mouth, and the quote that runs down his other arm, visible with the way Liam has it hooked around Stacey’s shoulders, putting her in a headlock.
Curiosity piqued, Liam clicks on the message and then on the person’s username, kinglover_styles, taking Liam to his profile.
It’s a bit-odd. There’s not much to it, really. His userpic is a black-and-white shot of a giant butterfly, which Liam realizes is actually tattooed on the guy’s sternum after he’s peered at it for a minute. The description only says, Hiiiiii, I’m Harry. Don’t really know what to put here yet. Then there’re a few lines of lyrics from Don’t Be Cruel, which at least explains the username.
Mentally shrugging to himself, because it’s Saturday morning and he’s got nothing in particular to do today besides go to the gym later, Liam opens up a reply to Harry’s message to answer him back.
thaaaaaanks!! :) yours is pretty wicked to. is that reallyyy a buttrfly on ur chest ?
A reply from Harry comes within a couple minutes, a little chime popping up to notify Liam while he’s stuck back on his own profile, glaring ineffectively at the lame-looking picture of himself on the screen. Harry must still be online, then.
It’s a moth, actually. I’m pretty into lepidoptera as a general order. Really I’m taking a focus in apiculture, though.
Liam’s eyebrows furrow as he reads it, then he slowly tabs open another window in his browser. After a few minutes he gets back to Harry with:
uh wow i jsut had to google all thattt. beekeeping ?? r u havin me on mate???
Harry’s reply comes in soon after that, a lot more flirtatious in tone than his last. 100% true, I swear. I’ve some really good chat-up lines about honey if you want to hear them. ;)
haha maaaaaybe that can wait for th 2nd dateeee ? :P
It’s alright, I’ve got other lines. So, Liam, what’s a six-pack like you doing in a place like this? ;)
Liam groans, but laughs as well. He pulls his laptop more comfortably into his lap, settling back against the pillows, a grin still hovering in the corner of his mouth as he types out his answer. They’re messaging back and forth quickly now, and Liam won’t kid himself that he’s not more than a bit interested, even if nerdy science-majors aren’t usually his type; to be fair, though, Liam’s never had one try to pull him before, so he doesn’t know for sure.
godddd thats terrible i’m groaning sos u know. but yeah its me mum :( she keeps saying ther arent enugh toys n the wrld for all the grnadchildren she wants to haveeee i keep tellingg her mum! cant i finish uni first at leastttt?? an shes like nooooo >:( :(
Harry answers back: I like kids ;)
Liam snorts. ohhhh i take it back ur quiet funny actully arent you harry
Thanks :) but I really do like kids.
w/ smooth lines like tht why r you even onn a dating site huhhh?
Er, my mate Nick kind of set it up as a prank last week? He’s been pretending to be me and having a laugh. He’s a really good mate, obviously.
uhhh oh. sooo how do i evn kno who im talkin to right now ?? u havent evn got a propr picture up hav you? do u rellyyy even like elvis kinglover_styles???? It might be a bit much as far as teasing goes for someone he’s just met online, but Liam has a feeling Harry can take it. There’s the happy warmth of a good flirt sitting in his stomach and the tips of his fingers, and Liam’s missed this. It’s been a while since his last even casual fling, and ages and ages since Dani.
Harry’s reply is every bit as cheeky as Liam was somehow expecting. Are you trying to get me to send you pictures, Liam? You could just ask nicely, you know.
yeah absolutly , got any more lopidoptra or whatevr tatoos?? giant bugs really get me goinggg
Harry’s next message comes after somewhat of a longer delay than the others have been, long enough for Liam to start to chew on his thumbnail, worrying he might have scared off what feels like the best thing that’s happened to him all week. As it turns out, though, he needn’t have worried at all.
Ha, you’re a brat, aren’t you? I think I like that about you, Liam. ;) There’s a photo attached to this message, and Liam’s heart-rate picks up slightly as he goes to click on it, enlarging the thumbnail to full size. It’s a picture of someone’s legs-he’s guessing they’re Harry’s legs-clad in tight denim jeans, long and lean and stretched out over what looks like a couch, with Harry’s bare feet resting on the arm of the couch and curling into other in a weirdly endearing way.
not baddd styles :)))) Liam answers back, wht about yuor face ? you do have one dont youuuu?
I believe in compatibility of the spirit over physical attraction, Harry sends in return, along with another cell phone-snapped picture, this one of his hand. Liam’s eyebrows shoot up. Not only is this the strangest, most round-about way to get to sex-chatting that he’s ever seen-if it even is heading that direction-but Harry also has very lovely hands. Liam’s never been with a guy who wears that many rings before, but by the sudden dryness of his mouth, he probably wouldn’t be all that opposed to the idea.
this frm the bloke who was droolin over my abs!!
Excuse me, Liam, I messaged you because I’m a fan of your tats. The photo that comes along with this message actually makes Liam sit forward off his pillow as he stares, taking it in: it’s a close-in shot of the elegant curve of Harry’s neck, the hint of dark brown hair curling under his ears, the unbuttoned neck of his top gaping open over the tan skin of his chest and the black ink of what looks like two birds tattooed just under the dip of Harry’s collarbones.
Liam’s eyes feel very wide as he taps out his reply, fingers moving fast over the keyboard, trying not to think too hard about or second-guess what he’s saying.
i mighttt hav a bit of spiritual and also phisical attraction 2 ur body i hope u can be okay w/ that mate
Before this goes much further, I should tell you I already have a boyfriend. There’s another attachment.
Liam clicks open the picture, laughing startled and loud into the back of his hand when the photo shows a very large, very put-out looking ginger tom cat being cradled to Harry’s chest. It’s a bit of a blurry shot, probably from the lack of cooperation of the cat. Liam’s still snickering when he types:
oh nooooo :’(( soz tht might be a dealbreakerrrr, im a dog prson
I dunno, mate. You sound like you might be the type of dog person who just hasn’t met the right cat. There are cats out there who won’t always break your heart. Cats can be very sensitive and committed.
Liam winces. the my mum made m do it story is a bitttt farfechted, huh?haha
Dunno, did you buy the my mate made my profile for me story? :)
did wonderrr why u were sudenly usng it, yeahhhhhhhh
Alright, he was using it for a joke, but then Nick yanked me over to the computer this morning and pointed at the screen, and he said-‘that one, seriously, message him right now.’ And so here we are. He might also be hovering obnoxiously nearby as we speak. And he’s making me do the thing, hang on-
Liam doesn’t know why he should feel so startled; he was asking for it, after all. Still, Liam’s heart is running away ridiculously in his chest, same as when he’s sliding home behind the popping crease, inches before being run out and the umpire shouting him safe. He clicks on the thumbnail of the picture that’s been attached.
Immediately, the vaguely cute book nerd with glasses and braces that Liam’s been imagining goes flying right out of his head, batted out of bounds by the reality of Harry: tattooed, butterfly-loving, beekeeping Harry, who has heavy-lidded eyes and dark hair that he’s pushing off his face, tangled in thick curls around his fingers, his top still gaping open over his throat and looking somehow effortless and candid; his mate must’ve stolen Harry’s mobile right out of his hand to take the shot. Harry’s smile seems to be going a bit lopsided and wry as he’s looking up from the couch, the dooming hint of a dimple peeking out from his left cheek.
Liam starts a reply that’s a joke, where he’s playing it cool, not giving too much away-after a couple sentences he deletes it, starts over from scratch. He goes for honesty instead.
seeeems like i might owe ur mate a bit of a thank youuuu then :) :) Liam tells him.
Yeah, think I might, too. :) Harry tells him back.
prompt: ONLINE DATING AU ft. harry's obnoxiously quirky profile and liam charming him via misspelled messages and copious use of emoticons
a/n: andwhatyousaid helped me out greatly with the delicate artistic balance of misspelling basic english words as only beautiful breadbox liam payne can do. title from that one savage garden song because it's overly ridiculous and also i'm in a rush.
+
Liam has two guitar compositions that he’d had to totally re-finger by Friday, and revising for a test in Advanced Music Theory that eats his life for a week, but he’s still a bit surprised when he finally logs into the London Lovers website over the weekend and sees he’s got thirty new nudges and nearly as many new emails in his Inbox.
Somewhat baffled as to how he could have suddenly become so popular- the last user who’d messaged Liam had seriously asked: ‘hey do you have any fit cricket mates i could meet?’- Liam clicks on his Inbox and quickly realizes the reason why.
Shuffling his laptop onto his mattress in disgust, Liam digs his mobile out of his pocket, sending off a quick and furious text to Louis:
when i find you u r gunna be so dead tommoo SO DEADDDD
The reply comes as Liam’s helplessly clicking around, trying to figure out how to change his profile back to what it had been set to before, but he’s not having much luck. Zayn, who’d helped Liam register for the site in the first place, will probably have to come undo whatever ungodly thing it is Louis’s done to get Liam’s picture changed from a nice, boring, fully-clothed shot of Liam in his cricket gear to the massively embarrassing one from last year’s Halloween party-the party Liam barely remembers, except that he’d had like five shots of tequila in a row, taken off his top and put on his mate Stacey’s princess tiara, and let someone write, ‘KISS ME I’M BATMAN’ across his bare chest with a marker. So, obviously, it’s a picture he really wants to be out there in the world when he’s trying to do the whole online dating thing.
morning to you, too! you are welcome, btw. any takers yet? Louis texts.
i’m gunna feed u yur own bloddy shoeess, whatve u done to my LL profile ??? >:(
i’ve fixed it for you, livened it up a bit. showing the world the Real Liam Payne, all that! it’s fine you can thank me later.
Liam sighs, stuffing his mobile under a pillow since Louis’s actual face isn’t around to smother with it. Liam has alternating days when he blesses the day Louis answered Liam’s ad for a flatmate, and when he curses it. Today is one of the latter.
He grouses to himself about ‘pint-sized interfering busybodies’ as he sorts through the cringe-worthy collection in his Inbox. There’s one message that’s just an invitation to drive his Batmobile into a bloke’s arse, which is just wonderful. Liam could’ve gone his whole life without seeing a phrase like that, and now, thanks to Tommo, he doesn’t have to.
A new message pops in just as Liam’s nearly finished, but it’s different from the rest: nothing rude or naughty to it, no Batman or princess-themed sex puns; it’s just a single, simple line that says,
Nice tats, mate. :)
Liam checks back at the Halloween picture, puzzled, but sure enough you can see them-the feather on his forearm where he’s hefting a red solo cup to his big doofy-looking laughing mouth, and the quote that runs down his other arm, visible with the way Liam has it hooked around Stacey’s shoulders, putting her in a headlock.
Curiosity piqued, Liam clicks on the message and then on the person’s username, kinglover_styles, taking Liam to his profile.
It’s a bit-odd. There’s not much to it, really. His userpic is a black-and-white shot of a giant butterfly, which Liam realizes is actually tattooed on the guy’s sternum after he’s peered at it for a minute. The description only says, Hiiiiii, I’m Harry. Don’t really know what to put here yet. Then there’re a few lines of lyrics from Don’t Be Cruel, which at least explains the username.
Mentally shrugging to himself, because it’s Saturday morning and he’s got nothing in particular to do today besides go to the gym later, Liam opens up a reply to Harry’s message to answer him back.
thaaaaaanks!! :) yours is pretty wicked to. is that reallyyy a buttrfly on ur chest ?
A reply from Harry comes within a couple minutes, a little chime popping up to notify Liam while he’s stuck back on his own profile, glaring ineffectively at the lame-looking picture of himself on the screen. Harry must still be online, then.
It’s a moth, actually. I’m pretty into lepidoptera as a general order. Really I’m taking a focus in apiculture, though.
Liam’s eyebrows furrow as he reads it, then he slowly tabs open another window in his browser. After a few minutes he gets back to Harry with:
uh wow i jsut had to google all thattt. beekeeping ?? r u havin me on mate???
Harry’s reply comes in soon after that, a lot more flirtatious in tone than his last. 100% true, I swear. I’ve some really good chat-up lines about honey if you want to hear them. ;)
haha maaaaaybe that can wait for th 2nd dateeee ? :P
It’s alright, I’ve got other lines. So, Liam, what’s a six-pack like you doing in a place like this? ;)
Liam groans, but laughs as well. He pulls his laptop more comfortably into his lap, settling back against the pillows, a grin still hovering in the corner of his mouth as he types out his answer. They’re messaging back and forth quickly now, and Liam won’t kid himself that he’s not more than a bit interested, even if nerdy science-majors aren’t usually his type; to be fair, though, Liam’s never had one try to pull him before, so he doesn’t know for sure.
godddd thats terrible i’m groaning sos u know. but yeah its me mum :( she keeps saying ther arent enugh toys n the wrld for all the grnadchildren she wants to haveeee i keep tellingg her mum! cant i finish uni first at leastttt?? an shes like nooooo >:( :(
Harry answers back: I like kids ;)
Liam snorts. ohhhh i take it back ur quiet funny actully arent you harry
Thanks :) but I really do like kids.
w/ smooth lines like tht why r you even onn a dating site huhhh?
Er, my mate Nick kind of set it up as a prank last week? He’s been pretending to be me and having a laugh. He’s a really good mate, obviously.
uhhh oh. sooo how do i evn kno who im talkin to right now ?? u havent evn got a propr picture up hav you? do u rellyyy even like elvis kinglover_styles???? It might be a bit much as far as teasing goes for someone he’s just met online, but Liam has a feeling Harry can take it. There’s the happy warmth of a good flirt sitting in his stomach and the tips of his fingers, and Liam’s missed this. It’s been a while since his last even casual fling, and ages and ages since Dani.
Harry’s reply is every bit as cheeky as Liam was somehow expecting. Are you trying to get me to send you pictures, Liam? You could just ask nicely, you know.
yeah absolutly , got any more lopidoptra or whatevr tatoos?? giant bugs really get me goinggg
Harry’s next message comes after somewhat of a longer delay than the others have been, long enough for Liam to start to chew on his thumbnail, worrying he might have scared off what feels like the best thing that’s happened to him all week. As it turns out, though, he needn’t have worried at all.
Ha, you’re a brat, aren’t you? I think I like that about you, Liam. ;) There’s a photo attached to this message, and Liam’s heart-rate picks up slightly as he goes to click on it, enlarging the thumbnail to full size. It’s a picture of someone’s legs-he’s guessing they’re Harry’s legs-clad in tight denim jeans, long and lean and stretched out over what looks like a couch, with Harry’s bare feet resting on the arm of the couch and curling into other in a weirdly endearing way.
not baddd styles :)))) Liam answers back, wht about yuor face ? you do have one dont youuuu?
I believe in compatibility of the spirit over physical attraction, Harry sends in return, along with another cell phone-snapped picture, this one of his hand. Liam’s eyebrows shoot up. Not only is this the strangest, most round-about way to get to sex-chatting that he’s ever seen-if it even is heading that direction-but Harry also has very lovely hands. Liam’s never been with a guy who wears that many rings before, but by the sudden dryness of his mouth, he probably wouldn’t be all that opposed to the idea.
this frm the bloke who was droolin over my abs!!
Excuse me, Liam, I messaged you because I’m a fan of your tats. The photo that comes along with this message actually makes Liam sit forward off his pillow as he stares, taking it in: it’s a close-in shot of the elegant curve of Harry’s neck, the hint of dark brown hair curling under his ears, the unbuttoned neck of his top gaping open over the tan skin of his chest and the black ink of what looks like two birds tattooed just under the dip of Harry’s collarbones.
Liam’s eyes feel very wide as he taps out his reply, fingers moving fast over the keyboard, trying not to think too hard about or second-guess what he’s saying.
i mighttt hav a bit of spiritual and also phisical attraction 2 ur body i hope u can be okay w/ that mate
Before this goes much further, I should tell you I already have a boyfriend. There’s another attachment.
Liam clicks open the picture, laughing startled and loud into the back of his hand when the photo shows a very large, very put-out looking ginger tom cat being cradled to Harry’s chest. It’s a bit of a blurry shot, probably from the lack of cooperation of the cat. Liam’s still snickering when he types:
oh nooooo :’(( soz tht might be a dealbreakerrrr, im a dog prson
I dunno, mate. You sound like you might be the type of dog person who just hasn’t met the right cat. There are cats out there who won’t always break your heart. Cats can be very sensitive and committed.
Liam winces. the my mum made m do it story is a bitttt farfechted, huh?haha
Dunno, did you buy the my mate made my profile for me story? :)
did wonderrr why u were sudenly usng it, yeahhhhhhhh
Alright, he was using it for a joke, but then Nick yanked me over to the computer this morning and pointed at the screen, and he said-‘that one, seriously, message him right now.’ And so here we are. He might also be hovering obnoxiously nearby as we speak. And he’s making me do the thing, hang on-
Liam doesn’t know why he should feel so startled; he was asking for it, after all. Still, Liam’s heart is running away ridiculously in his chest, same as when he’s sliding home behind the popping crease, inches before being run out and the umpire shouting him safe. He clicks on the thumbnail of the picture that’s been attached.
Immediately, the vaguely cute book nerd with glasses and braces that Liam’s been imagining goes flying right out of his head, batted out of bounds by the reality of Harry: tattooed, butterfly-loving, beekeeping Harry, who has heavy-lidded eyes and dark hair that he’s pushing off his face, tangled in thick curls around his fingers, his top still gaping open over his throat and looking somehow effortless and candid; his mate must’ve stolen Harry’s mobile right out of his hand to take the shot. Harry’s smile seems to be going a bit lopsided and wry as he’s looking up from the couch, the dooming hint of a dimple peeking out from his left cheek.
Liam starts a reply that’s a joke, where he’s playing it cool, not giving too much away-after a couple sentences he deletes it, starts over from scratch. He goes for honesty instead.
seeeems like i might owe ur mate a bit of a thank youuuu then :) :) Liam tells him.
Yeah, think I might, too. :) Harry tells him back.