cantchangeme lost myself inside someone else [i couldn't see the lines between her & me]
I didn't sleep. Well, at least, not well. Every time I twisted in discontent sleep, the bandage would pull harder at my skin and there would be a dull ache that was quickly turning into a sharp pain as the medication wore off. There were times throughout the night that I was waking myself up with each uncomfortable movement.
And there was the fact that there was this missing warmth beside me in the end.
I had gone to bed with Veronica for months and I was used to the warm body next to mine. We'd spent a week apart while I was in the hospital, now she was sharing a bed with my sister of all people and her dad was using a cot in the room.
Trina had been the first one to pass out thankfully. We were all thankful she exhausted herself out with her own voice. And I was fiddling around with the remote and the television - catching briefly that reaired episode of Tinseltown Diaries that had us caught ourselves by Keith and Liam Fitzpatrick. I quickly switched the TV set off and closed my eyes. Even though Veronica and Mr. Mars thought I was asleep, I wasn't. I think I passed out for a little while between the two of them going out and hours later when Keith was asleep across the room and Veronica was up and crawling in the bed next to me.
I stirred slightly, but it had been light sleep anyway with the continual aching.
"Veronica?" I questioned softly, opening my eyes and blinking until I adjusted to the dark, seeing her shape in the close distance.
For some reason I had this increasingly anxious feeling that I wasn't going to be seeing her half as much when we got home - even if I did occupy a space on their couch until I was 'back on my feet' (which I was liking better than what Trina was talking about). Don't worry, Trine. Your place won't burn down too.
I brushed a few hairs from Veronica's face in the dark without any more words. I wanted to be back in Virginia more than anyone. Probably more than Veronica because Veronica hadn't had her dad there and I knew the importance of Keith Mars to her. Or maybe I vaguely knew and knowing that much was already a lot.
Maybe I wanted to go back because I didn't have to be me. Not the me I was in Neptune. Not the kid who hated his life and was routinely kicked in the balls (metaphorically, of course). Everything just looked a little better there. Until Liam Fitzpatrick blew bullet holes into that fantasy.
I blinked the sleep out of my eyes - it was constant exhaustion, but I didn't really care when Veronica was beside me. "You okay?" I asked, my voice a little lower and husky from what sleep I did get.
The questioned seemed stupid in hindsight.
And there was the fact that there was this missing warmth beside me in the end.
I had gone to bed with Veronica for months and I was used to the warm body next to mine. We'd spent a week apart while I was in the hospital, now she was sharing a bed with my sister of all people and her dad was using a cot in the room.
Trina had been the first one to pass out thankfully. We were all thankful she exhausted herself out with her own voice. And I was fiddling around with the remote and the television - catching briefly that reaired episode of Tinseltown Diaries that had us caught ourselves by Keith and Liam Fitzpatrick. I quickly switched the TV set off and closed my eyes. Even though Veronica and Mr. Mars thought I was asleep, I wasn't. I think I passed out for a little while between the two of them going out and hours later when Keith was asleep across the room and Veronica was up and crawling in the bed next to me.
I stirred slightly, but it had been light sleep anyway with the continual aching.
"Veronica?" I questioned softly, opening my eyes and blinking until I adjusted to the dark, seeing her shape in the close distance.
For some reason I had this increasingly anxious feeling that I wasn't going to be seeing her half as much when we got home - even if I did occupy a space on their couch until I was 'back on my feet' (which I was liking better than what Trina was talking about). Don't worry, Trine. Your place won't burn down too.
I brushed a few hairs from Veronica's face in the dark without any more words. I wanted to be back in Virginia more than anyone. Probably more than Veronica because Veronica hadn't had her dad there and I knew the importance of Keith Mars to her. Or maybe I vaguely knew and knowing that much was already a lot.
Maybe I wanted to go back because I didn't have to be me. Not the me I was in Neptune. Not the kid who hated his life and was routinely kicked in the balls (metaphorically, of course). Everything just looked a little better there. Until Liam Fitzpatrick blew bullet holes into that fantasy.
I blinked the sleep out of my eyes - it was constant exhaustion, but I didn't really care when Veronica was beside me. "You okay?" I asked, my voice a little lower and husky from what sleep I did get.
The questioned seemed stupid in hindsight.