upnowandgetem - in my blood i feel the bubbles burst
My heart won't stop pounding in my ears. Not even when Veronica takes the steering wheel from me and forces me into the passenger seat. My mind is just blurring with tonight's events - not only the fact that I had predicted that things would end up going horribly wrong. It wasn't as if I could go I told you so at this moment because I was starting to feel so disgustingly sick with myself.
I was on the bridge - I was there intending on drinking myself to a watery grave until Veronica came along. Somewhere through this time I've become incredibly sober with too much knowledge.
Veronica had reacted just the way I thought she would - flinching just looking at me and the mess that I had created. Possibly because she thought she was some cause of the mess too.
This would have been fine had I actually managed to get any words out of my mouth before Weevil and his gang showed up. Oh, Veronica tried - with somewhat mysterious bruises - to tell Weevil and the other PCHers that I hadn't actually killed Lilly. Did we really need to question some sort of physical loyalty to my girlfriends past? I couldn't raise a hand to Lilly let alone kill her. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've been slapped a lot more than ever got into fights at school.
It didn't matter. Weevil thought what he would, a fight broke out and I was beaten down for a while. I can barely remember the details - only that Weevil was knocked unconscious and Veronica was knocked away.
I can still feel the crunch of some bones. There's a very real fact that I'm actually having trouble breathing and that's possibly because I have some broken ribs.
Or maybe it's because I just killed a man.
Yeah, that was the other thing that was clear. I remember slipping the knife from the guy's pocket - because I didn't have my pocket knife on me - and I remember fighting back. I didn't even know where I was aiming because it was really for some form of self defense. They guys had backed off for a moment and they were talking about getting the extra set of wheels back when the guy leaned over me - probably to start stealing from my wallet. The knife slipped under to some place through some rib bones and I passed out.
When Veronica woke me up, the knife was still in my hand and there lied Felix Toombs, dead. My heart hasn't stopped pounding since.
In review, the day began with my girlfriend turning me in for a murder I didn't commit followed by a very realistic break up and then taking myself to the bridge that my mother decided was the best spot to die and drink myself to that point. But I didn't drink myself to that point. I just committed another murder instead.
So, can we actually find any pluses of the night? Destruction of evidence by throwing it in the Coronado? I told you so. You know, I keep getting this feeling that things are going to get really bad. They did and here I am, I'm trying not to vomit at the dried blood on my fingers.
Sinking, I press my forehead against the cool window and actually wait for Veronica to say something. The sad thing is that we haven't even exchanged words. I can't even speak to her. The buzz of the radio has been the only thing that's sounding in her Le Baron.
I don't feel saved.
I was on the bridge - I was there intending on drinking myself to a watery grave until Veronica came along. Somewhere through this time I've become incredibly sober with too much knowledge.
Veronica had reacted just the way I thought she would - flinching just looking at me and the mess that I had created. Possibly because she thought she was some cause of the mess too.
This would have been fine had I actually managed to get any words out of my mouth before Weevil and his gang showed up. Oh, Veronica tried - with somewhat mysterious bruises - to tell Weevil and the other PCHers that I hadn't actually killed Lilly. Did we really need to question some sort of physical loyalty to my girlfriends past? I couldn't raise a hand to Lilly let alone kill her. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've been slapped a lot more than ever got into fights at school.
It didn't matter. Weevil thought what he would, a fight broke out and I was beaten down for a while. I can barely remember the details - only that Weevil was knocked unconscious and Veronica was knocked away.
I can still feel the crunch of some bones. There's a very real fact that I'm actually having trouble breathing and that's possibly because I have some broken ribs.
Or maybe it's because I just killed a man.
Yeah, that was the other thing that was clear. I remember slipping the knife from the guy's pocket - because I didn't have my pocket knife on me - and I remember fighting back. I didn't even know where I was aiming because it was really for some form of self defense. They guys had backed off for a moment and they were talking about getting the extra set of wheels back when the guy leaned over me - probably to start stealing from my wallet. The knife slipped under to some place through some rib bones and I passed out.
When Veronica woke me up, the knife was still in my hand and there lied Felix Toombs, dead. My heart hasn't stopped pounding since.
In review, the day began with my girlfriend turning me in for a murder I didn't commit followed by a very realistic break up and then taking myself to the bridge that my mother decided was the best spot to die and drink myself to that point. But I didn't drink myself to that point. I just committed another murder instead.
So, can we actually find any pluses of the night? Destruction of evidence by throwing it in the Coronado? I told you so. You know, I keep getting this feeling that things are going to get really bad. They did and here I am, I'm trying not to vomit at the dried blood on my fingers.
Sinking, I press my forehead against the cool window and actually wait for Veronica to say something. The sad thing is that we haven't even exchanged words. I can't even speak to her. The buzz of the radio has been the only thing that's sounding in her Le Baron.
I don't feel saved.