The Christmas Rant, 2007
I have few annual traditions, and now that I think about it, the few that I have are Christmas rituals. One of them, now on its third year, is the ritual of giving my parents a book written by me for Christmas; another one, now on its sixth (sixth?!) year is the Christmas Rant.
My mom sent me over to the store today to pick up soda and ice for the little get together they have at Christmas. The store is only about a block and a half away, so even though a couple cases of soda and a bag of ice can be pretty unwieldy, I walked. Mom usually prefers that I drive, though I rarely do; she thinks the neighborhood is dangerous.
It hasn't been a cold Christmas, and the air was pleasently cool as I walked over to QuikTrip. It was late afternoon and a few other people were walking down the street; among them were a middle-aged black man and his daughter, who turned down the same alley I cut through to go to QT. The man, who I don't think I've ever met, saw me and spoke up.
"Hey man, what's happenin'?"
"Not much. How're you doing?"
"Pretty good. You?"
"Not bad."
He gave me a quick look and smiled. "Hey, that's right, your dad helped me move one time." Someone else called to him across a yard and he started talking to them instead; I just kept on towards the store.
I was smiling when I came out of the alley, the man and his daughter and a couple other people nearby, all heading to the store for one reason or another. I didn't really know why, except that it was Christmas, and the air felt good, and I like walking in my old neighborhood. But I think I have a better idea now.
That conversation up there is a total of 24 words, but to me, it is the Christmas Conversation. Christmas has never been a religious holiday for me, but it's still a very important, even holy day. Because it's the day that we- that most of us, I'd like to think- remember that all around us are other people, and that's enough reason to be kind, to be friendly, to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
"Hey man, what's happenin'?" I didn't know that guy. Never met him before in my life. And God knows there are a thousand reasons why he could have not said anything to me at all. He was black and I'm white. He was probably in his late 30s or early 40s, and I'm 21. He had his daughter with him, I was alone. And hell, for all he knew, I was an asshole who wasn't worth talking to.
But it's Christmas. So we ignore all the reasons not to connect, and we do. Maybe it isn't much, but the difference between a little human contact and none at all is all the difference in the world.
It is easy in this world to be egocentric. It's easy to see it as being all about ourselves, to think that importance is relative to something's importance to us. It's easy to assume the worst of people, that while we are complex, multifaceted diamonds, we are surrounded by so much coal. It's easy to forget that every shop clerk, every ticket taker, every cop and garbageman and politician is a person themselves, not just an obstacle or aid in our personal journies.
But something as simple as a conversation in an alley somewhere in South Saint Louis is enough to prove that's all wrong. We're all coal. We're all diamonds. We're all helping each other move sometime. We're all moving through that alley together. It happens every day. It's just, hopefully, we recognize it at Christmas.
So be kind to people. Be generous. Smile, even when it's easier just to walk away with your head down. Say hello to friends you know AND to everyone you meet. Remember how easily- and it's always easier than you might think- you could be them, and they could be you. Say hello because it might make somebody's day- because it might remind them that no matter how vast the ocean of being might be, there are always others in the middle of it with them.
And that's reason enough to celebrate.
Happy Yule! Merry Christmas!
-E
My mom sent me over to the store today to pick up soda and ice for the little get together they have at Christmas. The store is only about a block and a half away, so even though a couple cases of soda and a bag of ice can be pretty unwieldy, I walked. Mom usually prefers that I drive, though I rarely do; she thinks the neighborhood is dangerous.
It hasn't been a cold Christmas, and the air was pleasently cool as I walked over to QuikTrip. It was late afternoon and a few other people were walking down the street; among them were a middle-aged black man and his daughter, who turned down the same alley I cut through to go to QT. The man, who I don't think I've ever met, saw me and spoke up.
"Hey man, what's happenin'?"
"Not much. How're you doing?"
"Pretty good. You?"
"Not bad."
He gave me a quick look and smiled. "Hey, that's right, your dad helped me move one time." Someone else called to him across a yard and he started talking to them instead; I just kept on towards the store.
I was smiling when I came out of the alley, the man and his daughter and a couple other people nearby, all heading to the store for one reason or another. I didn't really know why, except that it was Christmas, and the air felt good, and I like walking in my old neighborhood. But I think I have a better idea now.
That conversation up there is a total of 24 words, but to me, it is the Christmas Conversation. Christmas has never been a religious holiday for me, but it's still a very important, even holy day. Because it's the day that we- that most of us, I'd like to think- remember that all around us are other people, and that's enough reason to be kind, to be friendly, to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
"Hey man, what's happenin'?" I didn't know that guy. Never met him before in my life. And God knows there are a thousand reasons why he could have not said anything to me at all. He was black and I'm white. He was probably in his late 30s or early 40s, and I'm 21. He had his daughter with him, I was alone. And hell, for all he knew, I was an asshole who wasn't worth talking to.
But it's Christmas. So we ignore all the reasons not to connect, and we do. Maybe it isn't much, but the difference between a little human contact and none at all is all the difference in the world.
It is easy in this world to be egocentric. It's easy to see it as being all about ourselves, to think that importance is relative to something's importance to us. It's easy to assume the worst of people, that while we are complex, multifaceted diamonds, we are surrounded by so much coal. It's easy to forget that every shop clerk, every ticket taker, every cop and garbageman and politician is a person themselves, not just an obstacle or aid in our personal journies.
But something as simple as a conversation in an alley somewhere in South Saint Louis is enough to prove that's all wrong. We're all coal. We're all diamonds. We're all helping each other move sometime. We're all moving through that alley together. It happens every day. It's just, hopefully, we recognize it at Christmas.
So be kind to people. Be generous. Smile, even when it's easier just to walk away with your head down. Say hello to friends you know AND to everyone you meet. Remember how easily- and it's always easier than you might think- you could be them, and they could be you. Say hello because it might make somebody's day- because it might remind them that no matter how vast the ocean of being might be, there are always others in the middle of it with them.
And that's reason enough to celebrate.
Happy Yule! Merry Christmas!
-E