Per Is Adorably Photoshopped By His New Fans
You'll have heard that our beloved Mannschafter Per Mertesacker left Werder Bremen at nearly the stroke of the midnight-transfer- hour to join Arsenal. His new fans in London have taken the time to make submissions to the Guardian.co.uk based on film themes. Here are some of the best!
Some context for those of you who are not neurotic, sado-masochistic, deluded and depressed (ie., Arsenal Fans). You should know the following: Arsenal lost their two best players this summer, had a minor crisis in defence even before that, and have won only 1 in 13 of their last league matches despite SOMEHOW managing to finish fourth in the table thanks to an inspired early part of the season which was solely designed to give their neurotic, sado-masochistic, deluded and depressed fans the false hope and inevitable let-down they count on. Per has been brought in to give the remaining young and injury-ridden players some security at the back and a sort of father-figure.
Per with the other signings that were brought in - very, very late - contributing to Arsenal-fan heart-failure rates.
- By Hillel Aron, who wonders whether the lifeboat has arrived at Arsenal a little too late.
His nickname has already caught on at the Emirates!
Koichiro Yamamura: 'A German Green Giant has arrived at the Emirates from Werder Bremen, but where's the sweetcorn? [Expecting Nilmar to sign too were we?]
'Arsène Hitchcock proves he is the master of suspense as he ropes in another victim on deadline day,' giggles Alun Hewinson.
'Arsène didn't think Per would have trouble fitting in, given the shape of Arsenal's season,' zings David Braley.
Meanwhile: [painfully obvious Tottenham fan (because Manchester United Fans have long since stopped bothering to make fun of us)] Anthony Salisbury makes fun of the situation: 'To preserve Arsenal's present and to protect their future'.
8-2 Much Productions presents a deadline day deal intended to shore up a very dodgy defence...
...a reference to losing to that-team-that-shall-not-be-mentioned by 8-2 at the begining of the season, managed by You-Know-Who on the afternoon we'd-all-like-to-forget.
'After giving Man Utd something of an Easy Ride(r), Arsène decided to invest in a Mertesacker,' says Mike Taylor.
[Cheeky references to the bitch-crowd - ie., "surround sound only available AWAY FROM HOME - at the Emirates are always appreciated!]
Quite perfect really.
Faez Hassan: 'Probably not the right time for Per'.
**
The thing is, Arshavin probably really is that small...
'Arsenal medical team: "Normally new signings stand on a box for a medical so we don't need to bend down. With Per, we're on the box."' Tausif believes Arsenal's new centre-back is someone to look up to
[*Interesting note: Jack Wilshire made fun of this photograph on his Twitter. Apparently it "Cracks [him] up."]
There are many, many more photographs HERE for your Big Friendly Giant Enjoyment at the Guardian website!
Good Luck at Arsenal Per - you need it!
Some context for those of you who are not neurotic, sado-masochistic, deluded and depressed (ie., Arsenal Fans). You should know the following: Arsenal lost their two best players this summer, had a minor crisis in defence even before that, and have won only 1 in 13 of their last league matches despite SOMEHOW managing to finish fourth in the table thanks to an inspired early part of the season which was solely designed to give their neurotic, sado-masochistic, deluded and depressed fans the false hope and inevitable let-down they count on. Per has been brought in to give the remaining young and injury-ridden players some security at the back and a sort of father-figure.
Per with the other signings that were brought in - very, very late - contributing to Arsenal-fan heart-failure rates.
- By Hillel Aron, who wonders whether the lifeboat has arrived at Arsenal a little too late.
His nickname has already caught on at the Emirates!
Koichiro Yamamura: 'A German Green Giant has arrived at the Emirates from Werder Bremen, but where's the sweetcorn? [Expecting Nilmar to sign too were we?]
'Arsène Hitchcock proves he is the master of suspense as he ropes in another victim on deadline day,' giggles Alun Hewinson.
'Arsène didn't think Per would have trouble fitting in, given the shape of Arsenal's season,' zings David Braley.
Meanwhile: [painfully obvious Tottenham fan (because Manchester United Fans have long since stopped bothering to make fun of us)] Anthony Salisbury makes fun of the situation: 'To preserve Arsenal's present and to protect their future'.
8-2 Much Productions presents a deadline day deal intended to shore up a very dodgy defence...
...a reference to losing to that-team-that-shall-not-be-mentioned by 8-2 at the begining of the season, managed by You-Know-Who on the afternoon we'd-all-like-to-forget.
'After giving Man Utd something of an Easy Ride(r), Arsène decided to invest in a Mertesacker,' says Mike Taylor.
[Cheeky references to the bitch-crowd - ie., "surround sound only available AWAY FROM HOME - at the Emirates are always appreciated!]
Quite perfect really.
Faez Hassan: 'Probably not the right time for Per'.
**
The thing is, Arshavin probably really is that small...
'Arsenal medical team: "Normally new signings stand on a box for a medical so we don't need to bend down. With Per, we're on the box."' Tausif believes Arsenal's new centre-back is someone to look up to
[*Interesting note: Jack Wilshire made fun of this photograph on his Twitter. Apparently it "Cracks [him] up."]
There are many, many more photographs HERE for your Big Friendly Giant Enjoyment at the Guardian website!
Good Luck at Arsenal Per - you need it!