Inconsistantcy...
I'm really inconsistant with a lot of things in my life... This LJ being one of them. I'll start where I left off...
Chicago was an excellent trip. I was totally right when I said it would be really different then any other trip i've gone on to the Windy City. With my cousin Katie not being able to do much, it was a lot more home time than going out. We stayed with my grandparents a lot, played a lot of cards, watched TV, and reconnected with the family that we get to see but twice a year. The whether was cold and hot and cold and windy and not windy and sunny and gray and cloudy and clear and it was a mess. Not the easiest thing to dress for, but that's ok. And as usual, I've fallen in love with the city that houses me twice a year even more. This is really a problem considering I live in Florida.
I have been without a job since I left Dr. Kawa's office. I feel like this has also lead to a lot of inconsistancy. I'm so used to a crazy, regimented schedule that now with all of the free time I have, i'm not doing anything. I hate it. I'm in such need of something to fill the time, but not much is available. I want to apply on campus. Maybe with Campus Rec. I was talking to a friend about it, and it seems like it would be easy enough. They generally don't hire untill the beginning of the year. If i could get a library or office or bookstore job I would be fine with that as well. Nice thing about campus jobs is when Campus is closed, i am free.
School has been a bit of a mess as well. I slept through a test so I had to drop my Roman Civ course. I am so beyond pissed about this I can't even put it in words. As hard as last semester was, no matter wht happened, I was there and made sure that things were done, and now i'm sleeping through tests? No, something is wrong. I need to figure it out. So this semester should be fairly easy, now that I'm minus my harder class. I'm still really mad about it. I will now be taking multiple courses over the summer to make up for it... Kinda mad. Aside from that, the courses I am taking now, aside from German, i'm enjoying. This basketball season went really quickly with the Pep band. We're not going to Arkansas like we did Mobile last year, but that's ok. I'm taking a trip up to tally at the beginning of Spring Break instead.
As for the rest of my life... I've felt so uncomfortable the last couple of weeks. Uncomfortable with myself and the way thigns are going. I feel like i've betrayed myself and I don't know how to fix it. I want to fix it so badly. I'm going to go and talk to Marsha, they lady who came and talked to the family when my dad was passing away. Maybe she'll be able to bring something out of me that i'm missing. Being uncomfrotable within your own skin is such a bad feeling though. I'm geting acupuncture therapy for my back, which feels great and relaxes me, but when that wears off, i'm back to bleh... ugh. I'll figure it out.
Anyway... Random Stuff
-- Confucianism and Human Rights is actually a fun course. My teacher is helping me with my paper, and he's going to be my Senior Seminar teacher as well, so hopefully I can prove something with this semester.
--I have a concert tonight. I usually have some sort of nervous feeling going into it. I'm actually pretty calm right now. I hope It's a good performance, not just for me but for the group as well.
--I can't wait to hang in Tally for a couple of days. It's been a while since i've been there, and I get to see Andrew's place before he moves. Hopefully there's a good party while I'm up. The one being planned would be awesome.
--My turtles, who'm i love tremendously, are getting huge. To the point where i may get rid of them because it's ridiculous for them to live in a small tank like this. I keep debating, and can't make up my mind...story of my life.
--As much as I want to get my masters, I can't decide if I want to take a break for a few years and teach high school and maybe have the county pay for my Masters. I don't want to lose my drive, but I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like if I'm losing control of everything now, maybe the break would be good for me. There is no doubt that I will get my masters and continue on from there, but i don't know if losing my momentum will happen if I take that break... We'll see.
--I've missed my dad a lot the last couple of days. This happens every once and a while. It comes and goes, but the last couple of days has been a little rough. I need to get myself in check...
Anyway. I have to go get dressed for the basketball game/concert tonight. Should be a long night. I'll let you know how it goes.
Later dayz,
Seth
Chicago was an excellent trip. I was totally right when I said it would be really different then any other trip i've gone on to the Windy City. With my cousin Katie not being able to do much, it was a lot more home time than going out. We stayed with my grandparents a lot, played a lot of cards, watched TV, and reconnected with the family that we get to see but twice a year. The whether was cold and hot and cold and windy and not windy and sunny and gray and cloudy and clear and it was a mess. Not the easiest thing to dress for, but that's ok. And as usual, I've fallen in love with the city that houses me twice a year even more. This is really a problem considering I live in Florida.
I have been without a job since I left Dr. Kawa's office. I feel like this has also lead to a lot of inconsistancy. I'm so used to a crazy, regimented schedule that now with all of the free time I have, i'm not doing anything. I hate it. I'm in such need of something to fill the time, but not much is available. I want to apply on campus. Maybe with Campus Rec. I was talking to a friend about it, and it seems like it would be easy enough. They generally don't hire untill the beginning of the year. If i could get a library or office or bookstore job I would be fine with that as well. Nice thing about campus jobs is when Campus is closed, i am free.
School has been a bit of a mess as well. I slept through a test so I had to drop my Roman Civ course. I am so beyond pissed about this I can't even put it in words. As hard as last semester was, no matter wht happened, I was there and made sure that things were done, and now i'm sleeping through tests? No, something is wrong. I need to figure it out. So this semester should be fairly easy, now that I'm minus my harder class. I'm still really mad about it. I will now be taking multiple courses over the summer to make up for it... Kinda mad. Aside from that, the courses I am taking now, aside from German, i'm enjoying. This basketball season went really quickly with the Pep band. We're not going to Arkansas like we did Mobile last year, but that's ok. I'm taking a trip up to tally at the beginning of Spring Break instead.
As for the rest of my life... I've felt so uncomfortable the last couple of weeks. Uncomfortable with myself and the way thigns are going. I feel like i've betrayed myself and I don't know how to fix it. I want to fix it so badly. I'm going to go and talk to Marsha, they lady who came and talked to the family when my dad was passing away. Maybe she'll be able to bring something out of me that i'm missing. Being uncomfrotable within your own skin is such a bad feeling though. I'm geting acupuncture therapy for my back, which feels great and relaxes me, but when that wears off, i'm back to bleh... ugh. I'll figure it out.
Anyway... Random Stuff
-- Confucianism and Human Rights is actually a fun course. My teacher is helping me with my paper, and he's going to be my Senior Seminar teacher as well, so hopefully I can prove something with this semester.
--I have a concert tonight. I usually have some sort of nervous feeling going into it. I'm actually pretty calm right now. I hope It's a good performance, not just for me but for the group as well.
--I can't wait to hang in Tally for a couple of days. It's been a while since i've been there, and I get to see Andrew's place before he moves. Hopefully there's a good party while I'm up. The one being planned would be awesome.
--My turtles, who'm i love tremendously, are getting huge. To the point where i may get rid of them because it's ridiculous for them to live in a small tank like this. I keep debating, and can't make up my mind...story of my life.
--As much as I want to get my masters, I can't decide if I want to take a break for a few years and teach high school and maybe have the county pay for my Masters. I don't want to lose my drive, but I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like if I'm losing control of everything now, maybe the break would be good for me. There is no doubt that I will get my masters and continue on from there, but i don't know if losing my momentum will happen if I take that break... We'll see.
--I've missed my dad a lot the last couple of days. This happens every once and a while. It comes and goes, but the last couple of days has been a little rough. I need to get myself in check...
Anyway. I have to go get dressed for the basketball game/concert tonight. Should be a long night. I'll let you know how it goes.
Later dayz,
Seth