what now, brown cow?
So, I'm inching closer everyday to being better. As long as I don't slack on the meds I stay good. Two days off and I crash pretty quickly. It doesn't seem like it should work that way. I don't get it. But I hate taking pills. And those vitamins are like horse pills, they're too big for my throat.
But no one believes me when I say I'm okay. Everyone thinks I'm bullshitting just to get let off the leash. And it sucks. Its sucks being 25 and having to beg for freedom. I've got to get into school this summer. It's not an option for me. Seriously. I need it now. But my finances are wholly controlled by my father, which is a whole new level of suckage.
So, how does one go about getting off of a leash at 25 that they weren't even on at 15?
It'll be nice to have my own house. Really nice.
I'm going to miss Thorn though. He's become mine completely. We're never apart. So, that's going to suck more than leaving anyone else.
Also, I think I've been bodysnatched. I'm suddenly obsessed with girly shit. Like silk blouses and dresses and accessories and shit. It's kinda weird. I've always secretly been obsessed with shoes, hair, and makeup.
And I really badly want to upgrade my toothbrush. My sonicare doesn't hold a charge for shit anymore. But the new one I want is like a 100 or so. And the new waterpik which is the shiznit is like 50. Since when did oral hygiene become so god damn expensive? And despite what people may think, manual toothbrushes, if used too hard, cause serious gum recession. And flossing is actually quite ineffective. A waterpik is 90% more effective at removing placque and improving the overall health of your gums than floss is. Yeah, I'm mad anal about my teeth. I still want those clear braces to fix my overbite, even though it's barely noticeable. I'm so fucking wierd. This is what being not allowed outdoors for months has done.
I miss Psychology. I read all of my mom's grad school books and used to talk with her grad school psych profs. And I loved it. Got to LC and didn't like the way they censored psychology so damn much. Then, Shane changed his major from Physics over to Psych and we started discussing everything in his physiological psych and it's a lot of the same stuff I was randomly talking about one day with Brad (my hot doctor) in my room while mom ran downstairs to get food. And we were talking about all of the different receptors and how things get read by what drug and how it interacts. There's always this look of shock in people who are a higher station in life than you, when they realize you're not an idiot, though brief as it may be - it's still there. It never means the same thing from person to person, but it's still there.
Regardless, I have no clue what I'm going to do when I do get back to school. It'll just be nice to be there.
But no one believes me when I say I'm okay. Everyone thinks I'm bullshitting just to get let off the leash. And it sucks. Its sucks being 25 and having to beg for freedom. I've got to get into school this summer. It's not an option for me. Seriously. I need it now. But my finances are wholly controlled by my father, which is a whole new level of suckage.
So, how does one go about getting off of a leash at 25 that they weren't even on at 15?
It'll be nice to have my own house. Really nice.
I'm going to miss Thorn though. He's become mine completely. We're never apart. So, that's going to suck more than leaving anyone else.
Also, I think I've been bodysnatched. I'm suddenly obsessed with girly shit. Like silk blouses and dresses and accessories and shit. It's kinda weird. I've always secretly been obsessed with shoes, hair, and makeup.
And I really badly want to upgrade my toothbrush. My sonicare doesn't hold a charge for shit anymore. But the new one I want is like a 100 or so. And the new waterpik which is the shiznit is like 50. Since when did oral hygiene become so god damn expensive? And despite what people may think, manual toothbrushes, if used too hard, cause serious gum recession. And flossing is actually quite ineffective. A waterpik is 90% more effective at removing placque and improving the overall health of your gums than floss is. Yeah, I'm mad anal about my teeth. I still want those clear braces to fix my overbite, even though it's barely noticeable. I'm so fucking wierd. This is what being not allowed outdoors for months has done.
I miss Psychology. I read all of my mom's grad school books and used to talk with her grad school psych profs. And I loved it. Got to LC and didn't like the way they censored psychology so damn much. Then, Shane changed his major from Physics over to Psych and we started discussing everything in his physiological psych and it's a lot of the same stuff I was randomly talking about one day with Brad (my hot doctor) in my room while mom ran downstairs to get food. And we were talking about all of the different receptors and how things get read by what drug and how it interacts. There's always this look of shock in people who are a higher station in life than you, when they realize you're not an idiot, though brief as it may be - it's still there. It never means the same thing from person to person, but it's still there.
Regardless, I have no clue what I'm going to do when I do get back to school. It'll just be nice to be there.