Overlord Wretch
As of 1/1/05 the live journal has been siezed by the New Demopublican Guard as a mouthpiece for revolutionary leader Overlord Wretch, who has sized power in the former US of A in a bloody coup. (Ok, he snuck into the White House when everyone was at the new years party and locked the door, but whatever.)
Ha! BWHAHAHAHA!
Bow before me people of America! I hereby declare the United States of America defunct and declare today, January 1st 2005, to be the first day of my reign as Supreme Dictator for life of the New American Demopublic. As such, there's going to be a few changes around here. I'll address each issue as it comes, and reshape it in my own twisted image! bwahahaha haha hahahaha (note to self, practic maniacal laugh)
First, a word on the government. I have had the cabinet exiled to Cuba, with the exception of Colin Powel who was exiled to NY, where he will be forced to live with the Clintons. This shall be a reality telvision show on ABC and the profits will fininance my new regime. Most of the former American government will remain in place, though they will have to wear my new Demopublican uniforms. I'm thinking... something nice in green. Except for Congress... those bastards all have to wear pink. pink lederhosen. Of course, since I'll be robbing Congress of their powers and keeping them around only as amusement (I hope in time to come up with a group as entertaining as the British Parliament, only with less crumpets.) it hardly matters.
I shall be renaming the Department of Defense the Department of War, as it should be. I'm canceling every program whose purpose cannot be explained to me in under 4 minutes by any randomly selected 5 star general in the proper branch of the service. Everything else shall remain as is, until I say so. The state department will also remain mostly unchanged, exept that all senior diplomats will now carry tasers, and be permitted to electrocute foreign diplomats who deserve it. Paul Celluccidon'tcarehowtospellthis will be removed from his position as embassador to Canada and forced to work in a Pennslyvania coal mine. Because I can, that's why.
There are a bunch of other departments, but I haven't looked at em all yet. More on that later. Let's see... what else. Oh yeah, Grant is SO off the fifty. What did he ever accomplish as President anyway? Nah, I'm thinking maybe Kennedy, or Alice Cooper. Mail your suggestions to the White House.
Which reminds me. The White House is pretty badass, but I'm mounting some machine guns on top, just in case anyone decided to try and mess with their dictator for life. Maybe a crow's nest too, like a pirate ship. yaaarg!
Anyway, that's about it for now. You'll find copies of the new, easier to sing national anthem in your Monday mail. Hail to me!
Ha! BWHAHAHAHA!
Bow before me people of America! I hereby declare the United States of America defunct and declare today, January 1st 2005, to be the first day of my reign as Supreme Dictator for life of the New American Demopublic. As such, there's going to be a few changes around here. I'll address each issue as it comes, and reshape it in my own twisted image! bwahahaha haha hahahaha (note to self, practic maniacal laugh)
First, a word on the government. I have had the cabinet exiled to Cuba, with the exception of Colin Powel who was exiled to NY, where he will be forced to live with the Clintons. This shall be a reality telvision show on ABC and the profits will fininance my new regime. Most of the former American government will remain in place, though they will have to wear my new Demopublican uniforms. I'm thinking... something nice in green. Except for Congress... those bastards all have to wear pink. pink lederhosen. Of course, since I'll be robbing Congress of their powers and keeping them around only as amusement (I hope in time to come up with a group as entertaining as the British Parliament, only with less crumpets.) it hardly matters.
I shall be renaming the Department of Defense the Department of War, as it should be. I'm canceling every program whose purpose cannot be explained to me in under 4 minutes by any randomly selected 5 star general in the proper branch of the service. Everything else shall remain as is, until I say so. The state department will also remain mostly unchanged, exept that all senior diplomats will now carry tasers, and be permitted to electrocute foreign diplomats who deserve it. Paul Celluccidon'tcarehowtospellthis will be removed from his position as embassador to Canada and forced to work in a Pennslyvania coal mine. Because I can, that's why.
There are a bunch of other departments, but I haven't looked at em all yet. More on that later. Let's see... what else. Oh yeah, Grant is SO off the fifty. What did he ever accomplish as President anyway? Nah, I'm thinking maybe Kennedy, or Alice Cooper. Mail your suggestions to the White House.
Which reminds me. The White House is pretty badass, but I'm mounting some machine guns on top, just in case anyone decided to try and mess with their dictator for life. Maybe a crow's nest too, like a pirate ship. yaaarg!
Anyway, that's about it for now. You'll find copies of the new, easier to sing national anthem in your Monday mail. Hail to me!