I'm Starting with the Man in the Mirror!
Sometimes I just get the urge to write down my thoughts, and then think to myself "Eh, I'm at work, I really can't..." And then I smack myself and say "Go Go Chrome Incognito!" and realize I'm on my lunch break anyway!
So I've been doing some ruminating, and have two thoughts.
Firstly, I need to focus on the present and future, not the past. I've decided I spend way too much time thinking about things that have gone by; girls, college, high school, etc. I caught myself looking at old photos today and realized... hey! I do this WAY too often. I mean, sure, once every year or two is fine. But I probably do it once every month or so; that seems like way too much. I think about old flames a lot too, instead of focusing on the girlfriend I have right now (who is a sweetheart, and I really need to step up to the plate and be a good guy to her). I've also gotten out of shape again, and although it's unpleasant to admit, I think I may be on my way to being an alcoholic. Well, not QUITE that bad, but I drink more now than I did for most of college. Come home, make myself a drink to relax, and then refill it through the evening. Not a good way to be. Besides parties I think I won't be buying alcohol any more.
Secondly, I figured out that I tend to like things that are bad for me. Talking to my family while my sister was down a few weeks ago, I realized that a lot of the girls I have gone for have had serious issues (although I still contend in Molli's case, it was more of a flaw than an issue). And that is literally EVERY girl I have gone for, up until Eva, who seems pretty issueless, which believe me is a nice change. Of course, having a "nice" girl is kinda... well, I'm not sure if I go for nice girls as much as I should.
But yeah. Out of my 5 girlfriends, three of them had serious emotional issues, and Molli was really dominating. Out of the girls I've gone after but not dated, almost all of them had emotional issues, ranging from relatively minor to downright crazy (ugh, Yak).
It's not just girls though. Know what makes me happy? Closing myself in my room, reading, playing games (MMOs I loved, obviously), watching TV, and being lazy. I guess we could add drinking in there too. But these things aren't good for me, because I tend to take them to extremes. Sure, gaming is fun, but shouldn't be done every day. Ditto to drinking! I should be getting out and doing stuff!
So the school semester is ending soon, and I figure I'll sign up for leisure courses again over the summer. I'm thinking maybe I should give salsa lessons another try. I'll start working out again, this afternoon in fact. I've already broken out my food journal to watch my calories again. This weekend I'll go to the RSS party with Eva on Saturday, have a party on Friday, and spend the rest of the time looking for places to live. This doesn't even touch the idea of real courses yet, but that needs to get done too.
For now, I'm going on my exercise walk. Let's see how motivated I can stay :-) Ciao!
~Paul
So I've been doing some ruminating, and have two thoughts.
Firstly, I need to focus on the present and future, not the past. I've decided I spend way too much time thinking about things that have gone by; girls, college, high school, etc. I caught myself looking at old photos today and realized... hey! I do this WAY too often. I mean, sure, once every year or two is fine. But I probably do it once every month or so; that seems like way too much. I think about old flames a lot too, instead of focusing on the girlfriend I have right now (who is a sweetheart, and I really need to step up to the plate and be a good guy to her). I've also gotten out of shape again, and although it's unpleasant to admit, I think I may be on my way to being an alcoholic. Well, not QUITE that bad, but I drink more now than I did for most of college. Come home, make myself a drink to relax, and then refill it through the evening. Not a good way to be. Besides parties I think I won't be buying alcohol any more.
Secondly, I figured out that I tend to like things that are bad for me. Talking to my family while my sister was down a few weeks ago, I realized that a lot of the girls I have gone for have had serious issues (although I still contend in Molli's case, it was more of a flaw than an issue). And that is literally EVERY girl I have gone for, up until Eva, who seems pretty issueless, which believe me is a nice change. Of course, having a "nice" girl is kinda... well, I'm not sure if I go for nice girls as much as I should.
But yeah. Out of my 5 girlfriends, three of them had serious emotional issues, and Molli was really dominating. Out of the girls I've gone after but not dated, almost all of them had emotional issues, ranging from relatively minor to downright crazy (ugh, Yak).
It's not just girls though. Know what makes me happy? Closing myself in my room, reading, playing games (MMOs I loved, obviously), watching TV, and being lazy. I guess we could add drinking in there too. But these things aren't good for me, because I tend to take them to extremes. Sure, gaming is fun, but shouldn't be done every day. Ditto to drinking! I should be getting out and doing stuff!
So the school semester is ending soon, and I figure I'll sign up for leisure courses again over the summer. I'm thinking maybe I should give salsa lessons another try. I'll start working out again, this afternoon in fact. I've already broken out my food journal to watch my calories again. This weekend I'll go to the RSS party with Eva on Saturday, have a party on Friday, and spend the rest of the time looking for places to live. This doesn't even touch the idea of real courses yet, but that needs to get done too.
For now, I'm going on my exercise walk. Let's see how motivated I can stay :-) Ciao!
~Paul